Change Your Life Through Self Awareness

Welcome to Change Your Life Through Self Awareness.

Why is it that most of us want to change the world? Or, rather, we want the world to change to suit us? We want it to be how we think it should be. Or, more accurately, how we would like it to be. But the fact of the matter is that things that we want to happen often don’t happen. Also, things that we don’t want to happen, do. The world is as it is. It won’t change just because we’d like it to. So if we want to rid ourselves of a lot of our angst, frustrations, fears, we need to accept this. We really cannot significantly change the world. So if this is the case, then surely the most sensible thing to do is to realize it. That’s a start.

When I was a young man, an equally young man who was far wiser than me said, “Tom, we spend our whole lives trying to change our world “ (in this case I figure he meant our personal environment) “ when all we can really change is ourselves.”

To quote Margaret Mead: “A determined small group of people can change the world. Indeed it is the only way it has ever been changed.” I have no argument with that. I would go even further. A single person can make a great difference to the world; the writer of Uncle Tom’s Cabin way back in the early 19^th Century, is now recognized as having contributed to the eventual abolishment of slavery in America. Her writings sparked national indignation which eventually resulted in a conflagration. Many people wanted change. Others did not. The result: The American Civil War.

Most writers are not as successful in influencing major events. How many books, how many poems, have been written because their author’s wanted to bring to the public-at-large the utter futility and uselessness of warfare. All Quiet on the Western Front, The Cruel Sea, and books of this ilk have not changed the aggressiveness of nations towards one another. Economics still takes precedence over human decency much of the time. This could make us despondent, angry or even bring upon us a burning resentment to the way the world is. But our feelings won’t change a thing, except perhaps our own mental and physical health – and probably for the worse.

Changing ourselves is the answer. Only we can bring about the inner peace, the tranquility we all really want. By this I mean changing the way we interpret and perceive the world. We might say it’s a “horrid day. I hate this weather,’ because it happens to be cold, wet and windy. Or, “what a wonderful day; I like the cooler weather, the rain, and the wind really does take away the impurities in the air.” Both are subjective interpretations based on our preferences. The weather, of course, does not care a fig what we think. It is as it is.

The world is neutral. Nature is neutral. But we will get to ‘changing ourselves’ later in this hub. Before we do this, let us examine a few situations which only make us unhappy and don’t move our environment towards the way we’d like it to be. Grumbling to ourselves is one. Winging to our partners is another. And complaining to strangers at the bus stop about the bus running late, is another. Criticizing the way the country is being run, whilst down at the pub having a drink with friends, is still another. All of this useless, negative thinking, silently or out loud, only makes us, and those around us, that more miserable. If we are going to complain then put it in writing and send it to someone who might actually do something about it! No point in just radiating negativity.

Our everyday, habitual way of interpreting the unfolding of daily events can make us happy - or miserable. It really is our choice. But we need to know it is our choice. We need to be aware of it. In order to do this, we need to frequently and habitually monitor of our thoughts. We need the ability to sort of ‘stand aside’ and consider what we are thinking. This takes practice; a lot of practice. You could say that it’s a lifetime job. But you will become healthier, wealthier and wiser by doing so. Oh, and happier, too.

It’s been said – and I believe it to be true – that if we “change our thinking we change our lives.” The emphasis placed by those who teach this philosophy is that by changing the way we think, we eventually change the outward conditions of our lives. But the first step is to change the internal conditions of our lives: our automatic thoughts, our habitual reactions, our interpretations of what we think is good and not good. And an even more basic step is to try to determine where our beliefs about what is good and not good came from. Do they make real sense? Are they now, today, helping or hindering us in our desire to be happier?

You know the old saying: “Would you rather be right, or be happy?” You'd  be surprised at how many say they’d like to be happier but actually choose the other option. Not because they want to, but because they cannot help themselves. Their ego responses rule them.

Do you know, for example, that if you have absolutely no knowledge and no particular opinion about a subject and somebody tells you about it, you are liable to accept that other person’s opinion. This is how we learn as children. The virgin, uncontamminated mind-soil accepts the seed. If you’re told by two or three people the same thing, and you happen to read a book that supports that opinion, before you know it it becomes part of you. You take ownership. The ideas sink into your unconscious as a belief. We then generally fortify that belief by reading newspaper editorials, journals, and books that support it. It becomes cemented in. If strong enough, you could say that the idea is ‘chiseled in granite’ in our minds. We usually deliberately avoid reading conflicting opinions.

Then along comes someone who debunks the whole philosophy we’ve taken for granted as true. And what do you think happens then!

I am right: You are wrong!

Of course, they’ve being doing the same thing as you: cementing a philosophy quite opposed to you own in their mind-brains. The result? Conflicting ideas. If these conflicting ideas are strong enough and verbalized an argument ensues. If they’re really strong, the argument could develop into a physical fight. And if the ideas are accepted widely, within a nation, as distinct from the ideas held by those of another nation, the result can even be merciliess and bloody warfare. Strange as it might seem, we are quite willing to kill people who upset our cherished beliefs. It’s been happening for thousands of years and still is.

And what are these beliefs? Why, simply nebulous thought-patterns in our minds.

Makes you think, doesn’t it. ....Well, I hope it does.