Choices We Make And How They Change Our Futures.

Most people don't give second thought about the decisions they make, and how they may redirect your life. Imagine a person driving a can and you come to a fork in the road, go left or go right. You may have limited information about the turn, they may lead you to the same place, but go left you wind up on a gravel road which you get a nail in the tire and have no spare making you stranded for miles to get help, or go right and this road is smooth and comfortable and you end up with no events to keep you to getting to your destination.

Now how can that relate to life? The only way to explain that is by telling you my life decisions and how they shaped me into who and how I am today. I would have to start when I was a child. Having said that sometimes the decisions are made for you, such a when your a child and can't make our own, however they still shape and change you in way of the future you can not predict. I had ADHD and temper problems as a child. Naturally my parents had concerns. Looking back I more than likely would have made the same decisions they made for me, but they still changed me.

With the problems they didn't know how to deal with me,so they brought me to a hospital for troubled children. Upon arriving there they sent me to my room and sent me to the shower with the curtain closed asking where and how I got bruises. I wasn't an abused child, but I knew what they were doing or asking of me. After a few days I felt abandon cut off from my parents thinking why am I here. I felt that way because on a daily basis we would have group therapy. I remember this one kid there in therapy, I herd her say her daddy humped her and that's why she was there. When it came time for me to speak, I didn't know what to say. In fact I really didn't know why I was the in the first place. I knew I was hyper, but should I have really been there with such kids with such tragic stories?

A month or two went by and I was released, the experience changed me forever. A year or two went by and I started liking Bruce Lee and Arnold Schwarzenegger movies. I was a kid still wanting to be like the movie stars I've seen on TV. We had several trees in the back yard where I would take, screwdrivers, knives, sawblades, probably any thing I could throw at the tree and make it stick in the tree. Once again this troubled my parents, and was taken back to the hospital. After a few months I was released again. Did the experience change my future. YES of course it did I didn't know why In was there, no explanation from my parents I naturally thought something was wrong with me. It seriously changed my outlook for doctors and hospitals.

Now we are going to skip forward a few years probably 14 or 15 years old I was a troubled teen ,but I was smart, I thought, my buddy's and I broke into a place and found a four-wheeler with the key in it. this was my first fork in the road. My buddy, we'll call him Jon Doe, wanted to take it for a go joy riding out in the country and eventually destroy it. I didn't make that decision. Stupidly I took it and thought if I could just ride it for awhile Jon would leave and I could talk it back no harm done. Well as life would have it, didn't work out like that. just a few seconds down the roar the chief of police caught me. He took me in and called my dad. Never have I seen him so angry when he got to the police station. Maybe I was acting out, this was around the time my parents divorced. I felt I only had two choices the day, let Jon take it or take my chance to return it safely. I set me in a different direction in life, a rebel on. I served probation and community service. I paid my dues.

Around16 I was getting into more and more trouble, smoking weed, cigarettes, drinking, you know the typical teenager stuff a that time. I was choosing bad friends and doing worse things. A little before my 17th birthday I ran away from home, planning to go to St. Louis with a friend of mine, but that night I found a quit large bottle of wine. I drank all of it and started thinking, I am leaving, I need some stuff. I started looking into cars for cigarettes in unlooked cars. Well I found some, but my drunk stupid thought I will need more than this. Eventually it was getting cold and all I had was a tank top and shorts on. I found a truck to get in and warm up in, in my drunken stupid I hit his headlights when I got in. Scrambling trying to figure he to turn the lights out the owner came out. Next thing I remember I'm in the hospital. My skull was cracked, collar bone broken, and road rash all over my body. I made bad choices and they sent me into a new direction. I was looking a time in jail, I was scared.

I made a deal with the judge that would change my life forever spent four years in the Army of 8 in jail. Another fork in the road. Of course I chose Army over jail, but I was a kid and scared to death if I joined I would end up going to war.

Well as Fate would have it I joined and a few days later September 11,2001 happened. My worst fear I knew I was heading to war. And a did go to war which changed me again probably for the worst this time. I sit here and think about time travel could I go back make different choices things would be better. Would I as a person be better. There is really no way of being able to tell that.

Skip forward to today I have bipolar, schizophrenia, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, paranoia, and barely can get out of the house. I am and will always be proud to served my country as my grandpa in the Army Air Core in WW2, my father in the Navy during Vietnam, and I served during operation Iraqi freedom and also operation enduring freedom. No I am a father of two beautiful children. My boy 2 and my girl 11. They make my life incredible. Have I made different choices in life I wouldn't have these things now ,or I possibly be dead, who knows.

What I do know is I love my kids and house. I'm upset a lot about my personal problems, but if I had made any different choices I probably may not have what I have today and that makes it easier to sleep at night. If you can take anything away from this is that it's not about the choices you make, it's about the choices that make you. So go out there and make choice's who knows where you will land but, at the very least you will learn some things, and know how to make better choices in the future... Good luck