How To Make Everyone Happy

Have you ever wished for the secret to make everyone love you? Do you think it is humanly possible to attain such admiration? Here are some tips for pleasing EVERYONE!!! "Please no-one getting sick, you're about to ride a verbal roller coaster." Can you see your self being all of this at one time?

1. When going around Group 1. "Always wear the top, name-brand, trendy clothes in the right contrast of colors and accessories. Don't forget that special little smirk, it makes you look richer. Also don't forget to join them while they giggle and stare the less classy up and down before making some kind of sarcastic gesture. Now just gloat awhile, you not only felt like hot-stuff, but you successfully fit in the click and made someone feel insecure."
2. When going around Group 2. " It's time to dress down! Get out your out-dated duds, because you need to make these people not think your rich or some kind of money waster. If you put on those nice clothes they might feel uncomfortable. Be sure and not share your successes or they might think your bragging.The less frill, the better they feel"
3. When going around Group 3. " Make sure you remember everything you learned in school, all the proper pronunciations, proper etiquette ,grammar, spelling etc. Also brush up on your psychology and social science. Make sure you use the most impressive intellectual name to describe your occupation." Example: Never say, "I'm a trash man," Just say, "I'm in sanitation management."
4. When going around Group 4. " Don't be Mr. or Ms Smart stuff." If you are educated, then be humble and don't show it. You can even jumble up your words where they will like you more and won't feel ignorant around you. Let them dominate the conversation because you don't want them to know your accomplishments, they might think think your conceded.
5. When going around Group 5. " Let down your hair! The crazier you are the more they will like you; go ahead and laugh out loud. Be sure and join the joke telling, crazy stories and ribbing one another. Join in on the pranks and onry tricks; you will be a hoot."
6. When going around Group 6. " Be serious! No joke-telling, laughing out loud, pranks, poking or any kind of crazy humor. Act mature, well-bred, well-mannered, confident and intellectually boring. Lose the humor, and make sure you make complete eye contact. Think of something really sad before you think about cackling out loud over something said or done. Do lots of listening and less talking; act captivated by every extensive detail.
7. When going around Group 7. " Join the negativity! These people don't want to see you joyful and confident. They find no difference between confidence and conceit. Talk yourself down; this will make them feel better about themselves. Don't share your talents and accomplishments, just brag on them. Don't forget to tell them your faults and failures as well. Don't give people the benefit of the doubt, always believe what they say. Be sure and agree that the worse possible thing could happen. Don't let them know you just got blessed with a bonus or a promotion; they'll think your greedy."
8. When going around Group 8. " Be positive! Don't share any of your troubles or woes; if you do, you're a whiny baby. Act super happy, healthy, organized, strong, smart and content. Act like your kids never make you nervous and you don't even know the meaning of the word stress. Tell everyone they are just gorgeous, and that you just love what they're wearing. Never complain; not even once; just listen to everyone else complain and bring a positive word of comfort.
9. When around Group 9, " Be a tight wad! You must not dare splurge on yourself or you might reduce your retirement earnings. Only buy things used, calculate every penny and have a name for it. Never talk vacations or any self-indulgences for that matter; because if you do, you may be considered irresponsible or immature. Hang out with them in their drafty house in the winter and sauna in the summer.
10. When around Group 10. " Shop till you drop!" Go ahead and get out the plastic and the paper and join your buddies at the mall. You can't let them outdo you now; so see how many shopping bags can fit on your arm. To really be impressive, try paying full price for at least a couple things. Act like there's allot more where that come from; suggest a fine restaurant. Don't talk about how many bills you have; chat about your home-makeover.

• Well do you feel like you can be all these people; sometimes all at once? I hope you don't feel too disappointed to know the reality is, " You cannot be everybody's everything!" Though some characteristics from each one of these scenarios are not bad to portray, and maybe some compromises for certain situations are needed. However, "you have to be you, you don't need to feel obligated to transform into another person just to be accepted." Being "you" will ultimately earn respect for "you," not who your not.
• Some of these scenarios may have been slightly exaggerated, but sadly some go to such extremes just to please someone. Yes, you may have a few that don't like you or say things about you, but remember there's a whole lot more that like you just the way you are and would be disappointed to see you change.
• "Don't set yourself up for emotional collapse! If you try to please everyone, you will not only be exerting yourself physically, but emotionally, which could result in a breakdown.You know your limitations, your strengths and weaknesses; so just do your best and leave out the rest."