How to Wash Dishes
At first glance, this may seem like any other How-To article, but this one is geared toward a very specific audience: Men. More specifically, those men who, for unknown reasons, are particularly inept when it comes to something as simple as washing the dishes they themselves dirtied. I’m not going to get too exact with my finger pointing – most men, whether single, dating, or married, can probably benefit from the simple advice I’m about to provide. Granted, some of you men might be the next Martha Stewart when it comes to keeping a nice kitchen, but most of you ain’t. So takes these tips under advisement and avoid a whole host of nagging the next time you grab a plate. And for you single blokes, consider this a very key bit of dating advice.
Put dishes in sink.
Before you get down to the task of cleaning the dishes, you’ve got to actually collect them first. That plate you left on the desk next to the computer? It’s not going to get washed over there. That glass you stuck on the book shelf for unknown reasons? It’s not going to get clean on it’s own. Collect your dirty dishes and stick them in the sink.
Plug sink, fill with hot water and add soap.
Many of you seem to think running a bit of water over dried, crusty spaghetti sauce will result in a Mr. Clean shine. Not unless you’re prepared to hold it there for a decade, it won’t. And scrubbing it will take ages. Make it easy on yourself and let the dishes soak in hot water for 10 or 20 minutes and then come back to them.
Use a proper sponge.
That dishtowel straddling the faucet is not meant for cleaning your scummy dishes; mainly because it’s not really capable. Get a sponge with an abrasive edge and scrub away that filth. If you’ve followed step two, this should be a relatively easy process.
It’s not going to impress your woman if the front of your plate is sparkling clean, but the back has crusty something-or-other attached to it from whatever was sitting beneath it in the sink. Clean front, back and sides, or your efforts are wasted. The same applies to cups – clean inside and outside, rim and bottom. You don’t want to serve us a glass which still has someone else’s lipstick around the edge, do you?
Rinse dishes and glasses.
I thought this one would have gone unsaid, but apparently it does not. Soap doesn't taste good, in case you've forgotten that childhood episode when mom shoved a bar in your mouth.
Set your dishes on a dish rack and let them dry. Do the same with your glasses. You don’t need to use a towel to dry them manually – in fact, I recommend you don’t, as that can sometimes leave lint and other things on your dishes which will make them look dirty again.
Put them away.
Now that you’ve successfully cleaned your dishes, complete the task by putting your dishes away. Well done and don’t forget to pat yourself on the back.
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