Outrageous Laws
Outrageous Laws
People have lived by rules since the beginning of time. Since the human race evolved into independent thinking beings, the concept of order and hierarchy has been a key part of our evolution and survival. One key part of survival has been to have a set of rules, or codes to live by.
Today most people follow two sets of laws. The compulsory laws laid down by the ruler (or ruling party) of the land they reside in, and the law of their chosen beliefs. Religious laws, much like laws of the land are there to help the safety, and prosperity of the individual and the society as a whole. The ten commandments, the most notable and famous religious laws are believed to be over 3000 years old; yet still very relevant to today’s society. As much as life was a lot simpler those centuries ago, and technology, woman rights and complex machinery was only a dream away these simple basic laws and principles were never enough to avoid all the loop holes.
Over the years, to plug all these gaps and loop holes that appeared different nations and countries created laws when a situation arose that showed there was a need for the law. For example in North Carolina; ‘Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.’
On the other hand some laws sound good, but in practice are just unrealistic. For example, again in North Carolina; ‘It is against the law to sing off key.’ In the rest of this article I am going to explore some of these laws from the United States; and I hope you find them entertaining.
*Please note that a lot of these laws are unverified and unconfirmed; but they are still fun to read!
Some Crazy Laws from the United States
It is an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of spooking horses.
[Alabama, United States]
So the horses don’t get spooked, but I get wet. That’s fine, especially as there are so many horses on the street today.
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache if it will cause laughter in church.
[Alabama, United States]
Can I wear a fake beard? Maybe some kick-ass fake sideburns?
Boogers may not be flicked in the wind.
[Alabama, United States]
I don’t think I would try flicking against the wind…
It is illegal to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.
[Alaska, United States]
No worries; I’ll feed by beaver instead.
Owners of Flamingos may not enter a barber shop with their pet.
[Alaska, United States]
But I only get one day off a week, I have to get everything including getting a haircut and walking my pet flamingo.
If you are caught stealing soap, you must wash yourself with it until it is all used up.
[Arizona, United States]
My face is going to be silky smooth tonight.
A man can legally beat his wife; but not more than once a month.
[Arkansas, United States]
Does anyone have a diary I can borrow?
Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.
[Arkansas, United States]
Wouldn’t want my mother-in-law to get in the tub unknowingly…
It is illegal to shoot any animal from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.
[California, United States]
Now does a whale shark classify as a whale or a shark???
No vehicle without a driver may exceed the limit of 60 miles per hour.
[California, United States]
Okay. I’ll remember to get in the car if I plan on going faster…
It is illegal to cross the street whilst walking on your hands.
[Connecticut, United States]
I guess the sidewalks will have to do…
It is illegal to sell your children.
[Florida, United States]
A lot of this still goes on in Florida? All I can say is WOW.
An elephant can be tethered to a parking metre, as long as the appropriate parking free is paid. [Florida, United States]
You may not fish on a camel’s back.
[Idaho, United States]
On a different note…my favourite fishing spot is in the middle of the Sahara desert….
It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.
[Illinois, United States]
I guess it’s rum for you tonight Spotty.
You can get out of paying a dependent’s medical care bills by praying for them.
[Indiana, United States]
Does this work for plastic surgery? I’ve never liked my nose…
Horses are forbidden to eat Fire Hydrants.
[Iowa, United States]
I don’t know what to say here.
It is illegal to dye a duckling blue and sell it; unless you offer six for sale at once.
[Kentucky, United States]
But I’ve only got five. L
There is a cash fine of $500 if you organise a pizza delivery to the residence of a friend without informing them of the delivery.
[Louisiana, United States]
Try and find me! I gave a fake address…..
Biting someone with your natural teeth is classified as simple assault. Biting someone with your false teeth is classified as aggravated assault.
[Louisiana, United States]
I just want to know why?
It is illegal to stroll down the street playing the violin.
[Maine, United States]
No worries. I’m better at the French Horn.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
[North Dakota, United States]
For homeless people this sucks, but I just hope they don’t plan on enforcing this by CCTV in my bedroom.
Dog’s must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more in a private property.
[Oklahoma, United States]
So my dogs just had three babies. What do I do now? Do my dogs have to sign this permit?
It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
[Oklahoma, United States]
Where’s my copy of 50 shades of grey?
Dishes must drip dry.
[Oregon, United States]
Oregon, what do you have against towels?
It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
[Oregon, United States]
Does anyone know how to grow it?
It is illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.
[Pennsylvania, United States]
Okay, so I’ll sleep inside it then, or maybe atop my refrigerator in my bedroom.
Any marriage where either party is an idiot or lunatic is classified as null and void.
[Rhode Island, United States]
Thank you. Saves a lot of time and divorce costs.
It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.
[South Dakota, United States]
I quite agree.
It is illegal to take a lion to the movies.
[Maryland, United States]
I just want to know if this actually happened once.
At a wake, mourners may not eat more than three sandwiches.
[Massachusetts, United States]
What if they serve pie?
Any person over the age of 12 may be licensed for a handgun as long as he/she does not have a record.
[Michigan, United States]
I know what I want for my twelfth birthday!
A person cannot cross states line with a duck on his/her head.
[Minnesota, United States]
Once again, I want to know the origin story of this law…
Homeowners with an even numbered house cannot water their plants on odd-numbered dates of the month (excluding the 31st day of the month which does not apply).
[Minnesota, United States]
Seriously?
It is illegal to shave one’s beard in the centre of main street Tylertown.
[Minnesota, United States]
Take two steps to the left my friend, now you’re off the road, and it’s legal!
It is illegal to open your husband’s mail.
[Montana, United States]
Wait, what? You opened my bank statement! Haha you’re going down now….
If a child burps during church, his/her parent can be arrested.
[Nebraska, United States]
Who’s going to drive me home now?
It is illegal to drive a camel on the highway.
[Nevada, United States]
But my Mustang is in the shop!
It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.
[New Jersey, United States]
Good to know, I’ll remember that next time I’m in the state…
It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
[New Jersey, United States]
The first law in the article I totally support.
Idiots may not vote.
[New Mexico, United States]
Hahahahahahahaha. I love this. Although how does the state classify somebody as an idiot?
The penalty for jumping off a building is death.
[New York, United States]
If you can think of a reason for jumping of a building and not wanting to die please tell me. (Note this does not say slipping or being pushed of the building)
If a man and woman who aren’t married, and go to a hotel and register in a room as married, then according to state law they are married.
[North Carolina, United States]
Does this sound like the key law to a really bad movie plot? Millionaire and his girlfriend go to a hotel. She registers them in as husband and wife. She’s entitled to a huge settlement at the divorce?
A marriage can be declared void if either partner is physically impotent.
[North Carolina, United States]
Ahh that’s how the movie I’m writing ends…He claims she’s impotent!
It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.
[Tennessee, United States]
Illegal or impossible. I ask you.
When two trains meet each other at a railroad crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed until the other has gone.
[Texas, United States]
Oh this is wonderful.
It is illegal to take more than three sips of beer at a time while standing.
[Texas, United States]
Is this why Texan’s are such great drinkers?
It is illegal not to drink milk.
[Utah, United States]
But I’m lactose intolerant.
At one time it was illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole.
[Vermont, United States]
What I want to know is why this is no longer illegal now.
It is illegal to tickle women.
[Virginia, United States]
This is really unfair. No seriously. So not fair.
The harassing of Bigfoot, Sasquatch or other undiscovered subspecies is a felony punishable by a fine and imprisonment.
[Washington, United States]
Haha, like Bigfoot is going to tell!
It is illegal to pretend one’s parents are rich.
[Washington, United States]
This takes me back to my school days…
It is legal for a male to have intimate relations with an animal as long as it does not weight more than 40 pounds.
[West Virginia, United States]
Why is it legal at all?
Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
[Wisconsin, United States]
Prisoners only deserve the best.
There are many more counties around the world, and many more ridiculous laws. If you’ve enjoyed this hub let me know and I’ll start working on my next hub; More Outrageous Laws!
