Personal and Private Issues

Personal Things....

We all know exactly what this word means but I think we forget sometimes that Personal means just that…private…individual…my business…not yours. We sometimes forget what questions we should not ask that are Personal information that someone just might not want to share with anyone and sometimes this varies by the individual. Why do we as humans do this? It could be that we are just trying to be friendly; we could be thinking we are being concerned and trying to make another personal feel cared about or we could simply be just plain old nosey.

My rule is simply that I do not ask questions about any personal thing; period. I believe if someone wants me to know something, they will tell me. If they tell me something which opens the door to another question…. they have opened the door, not me. Is my policy the right policy? I think so and in so doing I am not considered as someone who desires to know everybody’s business. I do not enjoy answering questions that I feel are too personal so I respect other in the same fashion.

You see, I have enough to worry about taking care of my own life. It is not that I am not concerned about others or want to listen but they must open the door as a general rule. If I am very close to someone; there may be an occasion that I “might” ask something personal but usually not even family.

Things that are Very Personal

Some personal things….

  • Marriage
  • Relationships
  • Intimacy Issues
  • Finances
  • Employment Issues *Income
  • Health
  • Family issues
  • Credit
  • Who your soul mate is...

Don't ask- Don't tell

No piggy bank questions....
No piggy bank questions....
Who we talk to....
Who we talk to....
Some things we announce in private only!
Some things we announce in private only!
What the dress cost...
What the dress cost...
Personal Finance is private
Personal Finance is private
Why we are not on first page!
Why we are not on first page!
Nothing further to say
Nothing further to say

Touchy Subjects

Some things are touchy with individuals such as a person’s financial position; it can really be sensitive. Having worked in credit a lot of my life; some individuals do not want to give you certain financial information. In mortgage lending, your entire financial obligations and assets are apart of the approval process and it is inevitable that one gives this information. If there are assets over and above what is needed to qualify a person….well and good. All credit information is mandatory. The reason for this is, if the lender does not know your entire credit obligations, compared to your income; it is not known if you can meet another obligation and especially a new house payment.

Personal health issues are another private matter for so many. Just recently someone I know just found out they have a slight case of diabetes. They did not want the whole world or I should say their whole world to know. Of course I do not see the need to put something like this in the local paper either and I totally understand that everyone has certain things they are private about but my question was; why is this being said unless they felt responsible for having gained too much weight; not eating properly and realizing that this disease might have been prevented with proper awareness.

Sorry, but I do not want anyone asking me how much I weigh...yes it is because I probably am not at my perfect weight. It is still personal and I will tell you if I want you to know.

There are many things we should have knowledge of, that make another personal feel uncomfortable talking about.  Sensitive issues should be left unasked....Some people do not tell anything personal, and then there are those who tell it all and we wish they did not but at any rate...let those minute few do what they like.

Do Not Ask!

What are some Personal questions we should never ask?

  • How much did you pay for that?
  • Where did you buy that?
  • How much money do you make?
  • How are you going to afford that?
  • How much was your raise?
  • Did you get a bonus?
  • How much was your bonus?
  • Do you like your Mother in Law?
  • Why do you stay with him/her?
  • Why do you need that?
  • What is your political stance?
  • Where did you go; you were not at home?
  • How much did you pay for your house?
  • How much money do you have saved?
  • Are your parents wealthy?
  • Do you like him/her

Some of these are really private....

  • What is your grocery bill?
  • How much do you weigh?
  • What size shoe do you wear?
  • What color underwear do you wear?

Some of these are a little exaggerated but some people will ask anything and expect any answer. We each probably have out pet peeves regarding this subject. The list could easily go on and on but we also know that some questions depend upon the relationship. There are still some questions that it is just not polite to ask, so I don’t ask…Most of the questions above, I consider private and would not want just anyone asking me any of these. You might say differently…but that is your call.

There are also some questions that you do not have to ask because you get the answers without asking, but to me that is the way it should be. Being respectful and not too inquisitive about other peoples’ personal information is nothing but being socially correct.

 

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Comments 24 comments

Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

Some people are nosy and don't seem to mind asking personal questions. We always have a choice as to how to answer or not answer a question. Good hub.


Bail Up ! profile image

Bail Up ! 6 years ago

I agree, some are way too curious with others matters. It ticks me off when people ask how much I paid for whatever. I brush them off by answering "Why? are you going to help me pay for it?"


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Pamela99 you are so right...and I give you thanks for coming by to read my hub and comment. I really appreciate it. Thanks so much.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Hey Bail Up, it is so hard to be constructive when people are nosey....but I make a practice of not asking questions that I should not ask...it doesn't mean I am perfect by any means but I try to leave other people's stuff alone...I appreciate you coming by to comment and read. Thanks so much


djbraman profile image

djbraman 6 years ago

It's a good rule of thumb to let the person open up a matter if they want to talk about it. Then I think we can open up and talk about personal things with others. People can tell when you are just being nosy are really care about what's going on with them, but to get into asking them what they make, what they paid for this or that always has negative motives behind it. Good article!


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Thank you so much DJBraman for stoping by to read and comment. I agree and sometimes I think that some people just do not think before they say something. I appreciate you coming by.


Eileen Hughes profile image

Eileen Hughes 6 years ago from Northam Western Australia

Lctodd, you know what upsets me the most is people continually telling you how much something cost them. Oh I paid $2000 for that....and then if they see you have bought something new they want to know how much it was. To me I now say Oh I cant remember and change the subject.

I have noticed people with money are the worst for this.

Cheers great interesting hub thanks


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Eileen, I agree, it is nothing more embarrassing then for someone to ask me something like if I got my jeans at Macy's when I probably picked them up at the most economical place that I could find instead.

Thank you for coming by to read and comment. I appreciate it as always.


Linda Myshrall 6 years ago

What a great topic! And finally someone has the grit to say what many of us only have the guts to think. Kudos for the good taste you exercised in how you said it. I have a neighbor that I pretend not to see so I don't have to undergo the inquisition I know will ensue if I get trapped in a conversation. You are right. There is a fine line between appearing interested and being nosey.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Linda, Thanks so much for the vote of confidence. I guess I do not know how to not be honest...that is just me. My brother in law is sometimes too interested, (I will use that word)and for who knows why...he lives beside us...need I say more? A wonderful person...but too interested at times.

I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 6 years ago from Chicago

Yes, I agree with you that some tact, couth, and civility are in order when it comes to nosing around in other people's business. Your Hub is excellent. Thank you.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Thank you Mr. Watkins.. for coming by to comment and read. I appreciate your kind words...and taking time out to stop by.


Teresa Laurente profile image

Teresa Laurente 6 years ago from San Antonio, Texas, U.S.A.

Oh, yes. So true and yet, I fall into that trap as I am among the group who discuss these issues so openly. I am alarmed if the questions are directed to me which could sometimes becomes confusing where do I go with that. But, at least your post here helps me so much to know where I should stand on those issues if directed towards me. More power to you friend, Ictodd1947.


Sage Williams profile image

Sage Williams 6 years ago

Very well said and written, I'm with you and believe that if someone wants me to know some of their personal business and share it with me that is fine. I on the other hand do not need to know. I am big on personal boundaries.

Great Job!

Sage


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Some people have no class! I'm just not curious about other people's business. Pertinent hub!


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Teresa, I have been quilty in my life as well of being too open but I have learned the hard way that somethings should be kept to myself. Of course it also depends upon your relationship with someone. I am really focusing on those that we are acquaintances with not those we are extremely close to but I have also learned that sometimes those close to us may judge us wrongly if we tell too much.

I appreciate your comments and you taking the time to come and read. Thanks so much


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Sage, I agree that if someone wants to confide in me, I will listen and if they want my opinion, I will give it. But, I feel it necessary to make sure we know who we are talking to when we give our personal information. People do not always mean to repeat things...but they do...the human side will tell things sometimes..they just do.

Thank you so much for stopping by to read and comment. I really appreciate it.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Habee, thank you for your comment and stopping by to visit. Yes, some people are not tactful and are nosey about other people's business. I try not to ask questions that are not my business...that is just me.

Thank you so much for reading. Linda


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

Thanks for this hub lctodd1947 - it serves as a reminder that there is such a thing as appropriate behavior which means we should, as adults, be able to distinguish between what is needed information and what is just being obnoxious or uncouth.

One of the nice things about growing into an old lady is that I find it so easy to tell the nosey ones that the answer to a personal question will cost them $500. - and then they stop. Or just tell them to go away - if they are crude. I won't play that silly game.

Great hub!


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

Thank you BkCreative...you have a point ($500 question)..I am going to use this with my brother in law...That just might stop the questions...he means no harm but can't seem to help himself.

I appreciate you stopping by to read and comment. Thank you so much.

Linda


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

It's not so surprising to me that as a people we've become a bit confused about these very things. We have tabloids, cameras and paparazzi all throughout the streets of Hollywood and whereever else getting all the latest gossip, and we have reality shows galore. We've BECOME the proverbial fly on the wall. And suddenly nothing is personal or taboo anymore.


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

You couldn't have said it better. It is true, people are not afraid to say or ask anything, anymore and think they have the right....

Thank you for stopping by to read and comment. I appreciate it.


Tom Whitworth profile image

Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV

Ictodd1947,

I think much of this undue curiousity has to do with the cult of celebrity we have developed in our times. It doesn't serve anybody well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


lctodd1947 profile image

lctodd1947 6 years ago from USA Author

No Tom it doesn't but I try not to ask questions that is none of my business, don't you? Thank you so much for coming by to read and comment.

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