Prisoner of Mind Philosophy: Paradoxical Thoughts & Angry EGO

These paradoxical thoughts gathered like a storm at the edge of my awareness. Revelations ravenously & continuously consumed me, so much so; I felt as though my ego would manifest in physical form, as a doppelganger, & come for my demise, for I have not met the desires of the ego. I am on the moral high ground, but this provides me with no catalyst for reaching these inexplicable & inexorable cravings.

Perhaps these thoughts, because of my extreme introspection, have transcended into numerous self-illusions & my mind is in a state of disillusionment regarding many of my ideas, desires & personal beliefs. Nevertheless, navigating the corridors of my mind is basically impossible, for I am not sagacious enough & cannot identify myself subjectively. I can only see myself objectively, but this creates an enigmatic paradox where I become unrecognizable; it appears that I am someone else.

External influences may have manifested unknown enemy forces inside my conscious. These forces have created a prison cell where my inhibitions are amplified. As a result, my ego becomes enraged & will not accept my captivity, nor will it accept my conservative, passive temperament that prevents my escape; which creates a massive paradox where my thoughts contradict my actions or non-actions (internal conflict).

As for the subconscious, it inevitably haunts my dreams & occasionally causes random feelings of either elation, despair, or some other emotion that was not felt the day before. Ironically, although the subconscious imagery & desires tantalize and torment my conscious; they may be the only conduit for understanding my "subjective self."

Unfortunately, a paradox exists; "the result of self-knowledge is the knowledge that there is no object of knowledge." Perhaps ignorance is bliss, but it is far too late to harbor that state of mind, for I see the world for what it is & not what it appears to be; at least in some aspects. . .

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janshares profile image

janshares 20 months ago from Washington, DC

Well-written perspective of the ego from the inside out. Good example of journaling where feelings are identified and healthy catharting takes place. Voted up and interesting.


Kain 360 profile image

Kain 360 20 months ago from PA Author

janshares,

Thanks, I appreciate it. I think the EGO can sometimes help drive us forward, but at the same time, make us feel disappointed because we may have trouble meeting the deepest desires of the EGO.

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