When Given the Cold Shoulder

I was confused when she chose to give me the cold shoulder.

I had experienced the Cold Shoulder in the past, but that was from racist issues. I do not know why she behaved in such a manner. The look in her eyes was scary to me.

I was not paranoid about her coldness toward me. At first, I had a good feeling to stop by but after a while of sitting there, I knew I should have not gone to her.

I have seen the coldness in her before and did not think much of it. I have experienced this kind of treatment from her for the second time and it got me thinking more about her behaviour.

This individual invited me over to her place but did not chat as much with me as I had expected. Instead, she looked in great concern at her mail. I did notice something as to the same type of behaviour on my visit, prior to the recent visit.

I was given the cold shoulder and felt really confused about her nonsense behaviour. I cannot put my finger on what I had done to cause her to inflict that behaviour on me.

I sensed an odd feeling about her.

It was her invitation to me that asked me to come over to her place. I did not feel like in the way of anything.

Some time ago, she invited me for supper and there were a few more guests that had arrived there before me.

I entered as usual with a smile and greeted her pleasantly. I did not get back a greeting from her or a smile. I could not believe that had happened.

I sat there all evening and wondered why?

I am now asking myself should pursue my friendship with this individual. Her silent treatment toward me started out of the blue. I have been nothing but friendly toward her since we met. I get the feeling she is a bit insecure when around me.

I would like to confront her but not sure yet and I do not want to waste my energy on any issue with her. Maybe, I should see less and less of her to make my life less complicated.

She is a moody person and is difficult to learn about. On rare occasions this woman is friendly, and a sudden mood occurs for her to withdraw from me. It is like I must wait for her to change to a better mood to engage in conversations.

I do not think she knows the meaning of a good friendship. It hurt me when I felt shut out for that short time of my visit to her.

I felt like I was at fault, but I know I was not at fault in any way. To know why your friend or co-worker has given you the Colder Shoulder pay attention to your moments experienced.

Talk about it when alone together.

Try discussing what had gone wrong or what you have said to have made them give you that Cold Shoulder or the Silent Treatment.

Do not take it to heart or personally think about the problem if there is one. Discuss the issue with the other person and make confrontation easy.

It hurts you and the other person and often the reasons are not clear or direct to you.

If they need space give them space to be alone and clear their minds. Being shunned is painful for both parties. Do not be too concerned if there is nothing to fix.

In my opinion:

If someone gives you the Cold Shoulder, they are selfish and rude. I sat there and tried to make conversation and she ignored me as if I did not exist. When given the Cold Shoulder it can make you feel sorry for yourself. I tried not to think that way and I do not want to feel sorry for myself.

What happens to you when given the Cold Shoulder?

You lose connection with the other person and feel left out as I did in my case. It is an upsetting moment If you did not get caught that ball was thrown at you and the other person caught it.

To be ignored by one person is disheartening and both can feel the same way. If you serve guests cold food that is the same as giving them the Cold Shoulder. They can eat cold food or leave their home.

It is when you shun people away irrespective of the fact that you called them to your place or not.

It is a normality of being left out or upset in these situations. The brain instantly senses pain and disappointment. I had a chill go through my body and had not felt this way ever before.

A moment that opened my mind to know more about such people around me. Both the Silent Treatment and the Colder Shoulder can make you feel unwanted in a group or when alone with someone.

What is Ostracism?

I felt Ostracism when I visited my neighbour at her invitation. I felt alone and shunned as one can feel when in a group alone and ignored.

She must have a personal issue with me though I am not aware of such issues.

A strongly felt word is how Ostracism is described and some people just drift apart for no reason.

Sometimes giving the Cold Shoulder is a temporary act.

My personal experiences with some individuals have allowed me to lose some friendships. The Silent Treatment can be given on a permanent basis and that can be more unbelievable.

I recently read that a woman gave her husband the Silent treatment or the Cold Shoulder for many years of their marriage. Also, she did not speak to their son for a few weeks over a little argument. Anybody can experience the Cold Shoulder including, close friends, and family.

To be powerful in one's daily life people use Ostracism to gain authority as she has with her husband. If one chooses the Silent Treatment plans can be made to discuss the problem later, but when given the Cold Shoulder you are not always sure of what to do next.

Gossip can make one keep silent but to give others the cold shoulder for no wrongdoing should not be. The best would be to listen before getting any other thoughts in your head.

Be alert and watchful for their weird behaviours. Do not make the person angry. Stay calm in conversation and when in confrontation.

She has given me the Cold Shoulder for what only she knows but will not come out with it.

Her body language is doing the work that she cannot do verbally. She gave me the Cold Shoulder and shut herself down emotionally.

She avoided eye contact with me to avoid showing anger. I see that she is not truly happy and has many issues to deal with and does not know how to get on with her life normally.

I became their Cold Shoulder when her inner self got harsh, and I figured that she was living in denial from some bad experience.

Do you think I was assuming too much here?

Sometimes the Cold Shoulder is given unintentionally.

Is the cold Shoulder or Silent treatment part of Abuse?

The Cold Shoulder shows control over another person that is what it means for some people.

They want to be powerful and have the attention of others. When given the Silent Treatment one can be affected in an abusive way.

The Silent Treatment shows aggressiveness, it is usually intended to hurt other people.

The lack of the important aspects of life, such as:

• Caring for one.
• Respect is out the window.
• Values are no longer part of one's life.
• Low self-esteem is affected in many individuals.
• Depression is another way, most individuals are hurt by Silent Treatment.
• Emotionally the Silent treatment can hurt you horribly.
• To me, it means I no longer have a friendship with her.
• The Cold Shoulder given to me has made me feel weird, psychologically.
• I am not saying I am the most perfect person on this earth by nature I am different to that from her.

A person who puts materialism before friendship is not a compassionate person they have lost their true values.