A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO

...WHERE WAS I GOING AGAIN?

I am a little sleep deprived today, as my youngest boy kept waking up last night for one reason or another. When I woke him up for school, he had a bad cold. So he stayed home today. For part of the morning, I left him with his father, as I had work to do. After I picked up the other two, I dropped all three of them off to my estranged narcissist (wait, I mean husband), as he had agreed to watch them for a few hours so that I could do a few things. Tomorrow, however, he is not helping with the sick child at all, so I had to rearrange my schedule. OK, I can do this.

So I am driving to the place I have an appointment, when I realize I need gas in my car. So I stop at a little gas station on the way that advertises on their sign that they give a discount of three cents per gallon if you pay cash. Well, the inner bargain hunter in me can't pass up a good deal. The guy in there is nice, and I like to give him my business.

So today, I stop there. I go in and pay the guy for the gas. He starts a conversation with me, as usual (very friendly guy, I guess you could say, VERY friendly guy...), and he happens to guess my age. Well, I feel pretty old when he guesses I am four or five years older than my actual age. I had given him my business card to discuss the possibility of my doing some work for him (I am a bookkeeper), and we are discussing this when the store starts getting busy.

Well, I guess I drank a lot of iced tea, so I have to use the restroom. So I wait for what seems to be an eternity while he waits on all of the customers in the line so that I can get the key to the bathroom. He tells me that he is going to let me use his "personal bathroom," and not the one he lets his customers use. This "personal bathroom" is located outside. He gives me the keys, which also happen to be his "personal keys." I go outside to use the restroom. I open the door, and the first thing I notice is a very big mirror. So the first thing running through my mind is whether or not this guy is taping me while I use his personal bathroom...

My mind is turning backward to a time when I read an email about how to tell if the mirror is actually a mirror, or is a two way glass, behind which a camera could be hidden. So I am putting my fingernail against the glass to see if there is a gap, when I can't remember if it is that there IS a gap or that there ISN'T a gap....

Suddenly, I realize that I just have to go, and I don't care if there is a camera. If he wants to see me that bad, let him. What does it really mean in the grand scheme of things anyway? So I do my business, with his keys and my keys in one hand, and in haste to hurry up and give as little action as possible to any hidden cameras.  In one nervous swing of my hand, I accidentally drop his keys in the toilet. I immediately reach in and get them back. I race for the sink, washing off the keys and my hands and my arm and trying not to lose my lunch in the process. Gee, I guess he got an eyeful if there DOES happen to be a hidden camera, huh?

So I go back into the store and hand him his wet keys with my wet hands and arms, since there were no paper towels in his "personal bathroom." I mean, this guy owns a convenience store, but he keeps all of his paper towels inside the store....what gives?

Then we get on the subject of my heritage, as we are of similar Arabic descent. Except, I ONLY speak English. Even my Arabic mother ONLY speaks English. My grandparents spoke mostly English, too. I only learned one thing in Arabic, EVER, and I can only spell it (A LA MIKE) like it sounds. It means "God be with you." I am just not good at foreign languages. I even lived in Puerto Rico briefly and had about four years of Spanish in high school and college, but I can't carry on a conversation in Spanish (I realized this a few years ago while lost in the streets of Miami with my husband, trying to find my way back to my car from a college football game at the Orange Bowl).

So this guy behind the counter is telling me I am not a true Arab, because I don't speak Arabic. And he doesn't want to give me the receipt for my gas until I tell him five words in Arabic. And I have to be somewhere in like, ten minutes.

So, I'm saying things like, "Baklava," and "Tabouleh," and "Mousaka," and "Kibbeh," all wonderful Arabic dishes I ate as a child....

Receipt in hand, I escaped. I even made it to my appointment on time. Wow, what a day this has been!

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Comments 22 comments

tony0724 profile image

tony0724 7 years ago from san diego calif

advisor excuse me while I laugh ! How the routine of life can turn Into such a funny misadventure . I feel safe In saying I am pretty sure you trying to get the keys won,t be posted on the Internet . Thank you for the chuckle !


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

Glad you stopped by!


Duchess OBlunt 7 years ago

Good way to start the day knowing others have " those day" too. Thanks for sharing your little misadventure.


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advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

Glad to be of service!


\Brenda Scully 7 years ago

all in one day enjoyed reading this hub


maven101 profile image

maven101 7 years ago from Northern Arizona

Could have been worse, much worse...I'm thinking Number Two for the key dive...Sounds like you entered a little Twilight Zone there...How did the rest of the day turn out..?

A La Mike...Larry


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

Funny, this is almost an average day in my life. I will have to write about these things more often!

Thanks for reading, Brenda!

Larry, yes, it could have been worse. I think I live on the edge of the Twilight Zone sometimes!


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

PS If you think this was funny, you should read the one I wrote about Lice, and the one I wrote about my experience during the hurricanes in 2004!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 7 years ago

That was funny! You just never know about the mirror, but at least you know the private bathroom was probably cleaner?


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

I don't know. I never saw the other one. I don't intend to go there again, either.

Thanks for reading!


The Shark profile image

The Shark 7 years ago from Hampton, NH

Days can take turns that we never imagined when we leave in the morning. Sometime you say, what just happened here?

The Shark


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

It happens to me a lot like that lately...


Madame X 7 years ago

At least your life is never boring! If you want to know if a mirror is two-way, cup your hands around your eyes and put them up to the mirror. When you block out the light you can see through the other way. I figured that out when I worked in a bakery in high school. I was there alone one day and there was a mirror in front that looked odd. So I did that, and saw into the baker's little private sleep room. Fun hub!


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

Makes sense! Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed it.


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

I enjoyed going on this little journey with you. It is interesting and you are a good writer. Thanks.

ps Madame X always knows the answer. :)


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

Thanks, James. Apparently she DOES have all the answers.....


John Z profile image

John Z 7 years ago from Midwest

Ok - this is funny in a strange way. I think the guy gives me the creeps and then I think maybe it's just a twilight zone kinda day for you. Oh well, it WAS a great read. Thanks!


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing Author

I agree with you, John Z, on BOTH counts...


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, this made me laugh! it sounds like the sort of thing that happens to me. thanks for the giggle. Nell


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advisor4qb 6 years ago from On New Footing Author

No problem! Glad you stopped in!


htodd profile image

htodd 4 years ago from United States

Great post...Thanks


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 4 years ago from On New Footing Author

Thanks for reading!

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