All My Children -- June 19, 2013

The best development this episode had to offer was the smartening up of Agent Lea. I know the show wants to pair her and Zach, but their supposed witty repartee has been anything but. And Zach's course remarks about Agent Lea's anatomy haven't been sexy, either. It got so bad the last time we saw Agent Lea that she didn't even know anything about Zach's background. What kind of FBI agent wouldn't have studied a background file on a subject she was after? It made her seem dumber than dirt and made me wonder how she even made it into the FBI. You have to go through more intensive training to be a fed, and she didn't seem to have the brains to have pulled it off. Did a relative free pass her into the bureau?

So it was refreshing to see her acting like an intelligent agent. She thought something with off on how Cassandra was returned. She was too out of it to walk, so she had to be dumped into Angie and Jessie's apartment. The person who did it probably had to pick the lock. Why wouldn't they kill Cassandra instead of return her. Remember they already dumped one girl in a dumpster when they had no further use for her.

No one can like Agent Lea when she acts like she's dumber than dirt. So I actually started to like her a bit now that they gave her a little bit of brains. And her suspicions were confirmed when Cassandra told Jessie she remembered talking to him when Uri had her and knew he'd save her.

Speaking of the Russian dirt bag, he and Jessie had another conversation. Jessie threatened to tell everyone the truth about him, and Uri countered that Jessie's career would be ruined. Well, duh, he helped a dirt bag criminal fake his death. He should have gone to some higher up and tell them Uri's demands to get Cass back and then just faked going along with him until the put the cuffs on the Russian slime bag. Then he threatened to kidnap Jessie's daughter and daughter-in-law, claiming they could make him a lot of money. After that he declared that he owns Jessie.

I felt like telling Jessie to go do a marathon of Pretty Little Liars. This is how A got so much control over the liars. They didn't want to face up to the consequences of their actions, so they kept lying and getting in deeper and deeper. I know Jessie doesn't want to lose his job, but he did wrong. Face up to the consequences of what you done and don't let Uri get you in so deep you'll never be able to get back out. The dude's threatening other members of your family. He needs to go down and fast.

Actually, Jessie does have an alternative to coming clean, he could kill Uri. That big dummy Uri doesn't realize it, but he's set up the perfect situation for Jessie to kill him and get away with it. To the world Uri is already dead. His body has been identified. So if Jessie were to kill him, who would even know he did it?

Since news broke that Dimitri was returning to All My Children, speculation has been high that he's going to turn out to be Celia's guardian and they may be right. Celia met Dimitri and was offered a job as his intern but warned her strict guardian might not allow her to do it. Then lo and behold when she tells Evelyn about it, she's all cool about it and says she'll talk to he guardian and is sure he'll go along with it. It was like Dimitri gave Evelyn a call and told her it was okay for Celia to take the internship.

Opal got an offer on Cortlandt Manor and she initially turned it down. Then when she couldn't get Pete to change his mind about moving out, she called the realtor and agreed to sell the place. I already know what she's planning to do. She's going to get an apartment in the same building Pete has gotten one in. However, when she learns she just sold Palmer's house to Billy Clyde Tuggle the man who kidnapped Dixie and nearly killed her baby boy, Tad, she may regret her smothering mother antics.

Celia had the misfortune to run into both Pete and Opal at Brooke's TV show. Pete wants to approve the questions that David will be asked, while Opal wanted to drive it home to Celia that she and Pete were over and she needed to put all thoughts of her little Petey out of her head. She even insinuated just why Petey wanted an apartment of his own.

I'm just curious if there's any woman smothering mother Opal will approve of for her Petey. She appeared to be okay with Celia, but it seems she only saw Celia as a tool to keep Petey in Pine Valley. Once she served her purpose, she wanted her gone. And she doesn't like Trash Queen Colby, either. Celia and Colby kind of cover the dating spectrum. Celia is a virgin and Colby isn't. So is there anyone aside from Opal herself that she thinks is good enough for her little Petey?

The most ridiculous budding relationship on this show is JR and Cara. She spits on David and looks down on his judging him not fit to know her child because he shot the man who killed his daughter and paid for his crime by going to jail. But she deems JR the greatest after knowing him for two seconds and free passing him for coming to that party wasted with a gun planning to kill someone or several someones. No, it was all David's fault, even though David tried to stop him. It just makes her look like a hypocritical moron. And the whole thing of her acting as JR's personal physical therapist is another dose of the ridiculous. She's a highly trained doctor. Are you telling me there's no patients she has to see?

Anyway, she dropped by to shoW JR pictures of David's son Oliver that she's letting David believe is dead. And she thinks he's just the most wonderful person ever because he arranges her to go and spend time with Oliver without David knowing. Personally, I think he wants to get rid of her for awhile so he can shoot up some more steroids. Every time he tries, she seems to drop by unannounced.

Finally, Dixie runs afoul of Cassandra's doctor, Dr. Anders. He has the bedside manner of an insensitive jerk. Apparently, Dixie is now a therapist and he questioned her being Cassandra's. If David or Billy Clyde isn't involved, I guess she can actually manage to be objective. When Anders learns Dixie is engaged he seems a bit disappointed. Seems he may have a thing for her. You know, I wouldn't even wish Dixie on this doofus. What happened to Griffin? He's kind of disappeared from the scene.

One last word on Billy Clyde. Sorry, dude, the suit does nothing for you. Not as long as you have that dirty looking hair and rat's nest of a mustache. Clothes may make the man, but BC still looks like a river front rat. Did he even take a bath before putting on those clothes? Also, I don't know of any lottery where you get your money so fast.