An Operatic Evening

Women.

You either love them, or simply adore them because there is no hating the little darlings no matter what they look like. Have you noticed that there are no ugly women? From the prettiest to the less pretty, from the biggest to the smallest, once they pour themselves into a little something, be it a dress, or even a truck suit for that matter, they have this captivating grace and fluidity of movement that only the female of the species has and no man can truly imitate, no matter how strongly he may be that way inclined or how hard he may try. It’s that swivel of the hips that gets me I think and after years of studying this particular fauna, I am convinced that it is quite natural and they actually do it without really giving it a thought.

Women like to say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and they might be right, but the way to a woman’s heart is definitely through her ears. Words are woman’s Achilles’ heel and words, even written ones can melt the most granite of female hearts. The problem is that once you know their little habits, eccentricities and their signals, then the hunting of this species begins to loose its primary excitement which is the actual chase, not the actual shooting of the beast, if you will excuse the analogy.

The coy smile, the lowering of the eyes with the turning of the head and the twirling of the hair, the touching while talking to you or just passing by you at a party, the look from the corner of the eye while they pretend to look elsewhere… Once you learn the signals, it’s like shooting fish in the barrel, the poor dears.

Some years ago my brother-in-law was in intensive care at a hospital and a priest was called to give him the last rights as the doctors did not fancy his chances to make it through the night. I was standing with other De Greek family members in the corridor outside thinking of my poor sister becoming a widow so young and of his children having to be raised without a father and the tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably. Through my tears I saw this gorgeous woman in a white jacket pass by us without looking at us but the lion hunter in Africa knows when the beast is looking at him even if it is facing in a different direction. I could see the interest in the corner of her eye as she passed by, even though she looked straight ahead. She turned the corner and headed on through the door of the maternity unit further down.

I wiped my tears and followed her to just outside the maternity ward door, where there was a room for prospective fathers to wait for glad tidings. I had the place to myself so I lit a cigar to fumigate the place against any lethal and little known viruses (yes, I used to do things like that, I am sorry OK?) and a few minutes after I finished it she came out again. I stepped out of the room and she stopped, waiting for me to speak, so I asked her to tell me whom I had to bribe in that place to introduce us. Now until I actually opened my mouth to speak I had no idea what to say to her, but her laughter in response seemed to me to have hit the spot. She was a doctor at the maternity unit and she gave me her telephone number.

Alright! I know that this is boasting, but I am also making a point here. And the point is that once a man knows the signs, women become dust beneath his iron heel.

I saw in one of the forums here advice on pick-up lines and I should be failing in my brotherly duty if I did not point out that you will do well to avoid such sad fora full of unoriginal and pre-packaged material. Men, if you cannot think of something original to say that is spontaneous and suits the moment, don’t say anything. The girls may be susceptible but they are not stupid and they have that uncanny instinct that no BS can get past unless they want it to. And remember, an opening line is just that. If you cannot back it up with substance, you are dead meat.

I was telling my friend Cris here the other day of an instance in Manila which was quite successful whereby the five star hotel at which I usually stayed had a new singer in the lobby bar. Veeeeeeeeery pretty and she sang old smooth songs accompanied by a pianist. On the tables the hotel had cards on which the guests could write their song requests and a waiter would take it over, the girl would talk with the pianist, they would find the appropriate song sheet and she would sing the client’s choice. Really five star service.

I thought of the most unlikely song for her to know so I wrote on the card “Any Mongolian love song, or your telephone number”. Seeing her reaction and hearing her laugh was well worth the effort I made and a few days later she made it even more meaningful.

My friend Nellieanna and I sometimes spend hours on IM chewing the fat, reminiscing about past lives, past adventures, misadventures and incidents and I was telling her a story I remembered, about which she said it might make a good hub, so here it is:

I was taking a flight to Athens and I was the last to check in. In front of me there was just one more passenger, obviously also late and she was really a Goddess-in-human-shape. I was particularly impressed by her strong chest, which was decorated with two wonderful looking breasts cheekily peeking through her somewhat daring cleavage. All other passengers had gone on ahead and we were the last to walk to the airplane directly from the terminal, without the use of a bus. I walked a bit faster and when I was next to her, the De Greek muse took over again as usual and I said the first witty thing that came to mind. It must have been witty because she laughed out loud and gave me a curious look while I continued to show off with my further nonsense, but galloping dementia has caused the actual line to be lost to posterity·

On the airplane she was sitting in a seat in front of me and since we both had aisle seats, she would occasionally turn around to look at me and smile. On the bus to the Athens passport control I stood next to her and asked her to have dinner with me. Her answer was “I am staying at the Hilton”, so I got her name and in the evening took her to a restaurant at my own five star hotel. At the time the Caravel Hotel had an international restaurant in the basement which was very popular with the locals and I knew that she would like it. In fact, it was a place where even JPMorgan Chase Bank would have had to hock its underwear if it wanted to properly let its hair down for a good night out.

There was a wonderful atmosphere, great service and a very affluent looking clientele in the packed restaurant. We ordered our food and drank champagne while waiting for the relief expedition to arrive with further supplies and we got to know each other by telling our stories. It turned out that she was an opera singer, or so she said, working at the famous La Scala Opera House in Milan, Italy. Admittedly I made allowances for a bit of fibbing there, because I know how difficult it is for an opera singer to get a job there, but I was not chump enough to question this in any way and to spoil the evening.

As the evening progressed a couple of musicians showed up, one with a guitar and the other with a bouzouki and they played mainly Greek music going from table to table. Being an old hand at this, I always carry in an outside jacket pocket separate five dollar and ten dollar notes for quiet tips, without having to overtly bring out the wallet so when the musicians came to our own table, I surreptitiously slipped one of the men a note . Being a Greek he knew what to do and what to expect from me, so he stayed at our table instead of moving on to other tables.

The girl told them that they played really well and I said that they should be really pleased since she was a singer and knew about music. The thing seemed to backfire. The musicians stopped playing and started to interrogate her. When she said that she was an opera singer, they insisted that she must sing something for us. To my surprise she agreed and the longest five minutes of my life ensued. They agreed on a song by Verdi and she told them the key she wanted them to play it at. They would try but she would not be satisfied and asked them to try finding it again. The restaurant clients were all looking at us by now and I was fidgeting with embarrassment expecting her to say to the musicians that they could not provide the key she wanted and to forget it. I felt that this was either the Northern most evidence of musical eccentricity, or she was a fraud who was caught out.

Suddenly she told them that they found the key she wanted and they started to play the introduction to the Verdi aria. They looked to her when her turn came, she opened her mouth and the reason for the powerful chest became clear as the most angelic sound came out of her. Loud, crystal clear beautiful music the quality of which I for one never heard before filled the restaurant and everyone stopped and listened. Half way through the song a baritone from across the restaurant joined in and the most amazing stereophonic sound ensued.

When she finally stopped singing, the place erupted into a pandemonium of cheers and clapping. The clients, the waiters and even the cooks who came out of the kitchen, were clapping and cheering wildly and demanded more.

She was gracious in victory and she sang more and the baritone dining with his wife across the room again joined in and I do not know how best to clothe this incident in words but it was a night made in heaven.

It is the distinguishing mark of a great man to adapt his actions to circumstances he finds himself in, so I got engaged to be married again that evening, a feat that I admit would have been impossible purely on lemonade and Bach. The fact that in the excitement inseparable from falling in love with a Goddess-in-human-shape with a voice like an angel I unfortunately forgot to tell my wife is, I feel, an understandable omission. In consequence, the attitude of obduracy and defiance exhibited by my wife of the time just for that one period of self indulgence I consider to be unsporting



Dimitris Mita

De Greek

More by this Author


Comments 50 comments

Petra Vlah profile image

Petra Vlah 6 years ago from Los Angeles

Obviously you know your way around women (in fact I never doubt it for a minute). From giving advice to young boys to following your own directions and instincts, how can you ever go wrong? Your talents are many, my dear De Greek


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Petra, of course, of course! How else could he have won "the prettiest, kindest, tenerest woman on this planet" to be his wife, I ask you? - Not to mention modestly stealing the hearts of of at least half the lovely maidens in this very forum! Surely his sage advice to those young men could not be idle words!

You're so right about the talents too. That is such a well-done hub!

Congratulations DG!! Excellent! Funny and also - quite beautiful! One can almost hear the strains of the lovely arias accompanied by the musical ensemble you so wisely bribed - er - enticed to play at your table! As you say, we women are attuned - ;) to great sounds entering our ears! They should never be harsh or censuring!!


dianacharles profile image

dianacharles 6 years ago from India

aaaaaah advice for the uninitiated or the novitiate. I think you should change your pseudonym from De Greek to James Bond 007 and I daren't even say here that all that was missing was the gun ;)


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Aaah, you had me mesmerized with your story, everything stopped until I finished reading. I was waiting for the operan singer to squeak, LOL, but instead she turned out to be a musical angel. Enjoyed reading of your adventures, and like Petra suggests your adice to young men is right on.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

LOL! Diana began her response while I was typing with an "aaah"... and I had not seen it. Pretty cool, this is the effect you have on readers!


Hmrjmr1 profile image

Hmrjmr1 6 years ago from Georgia, USA

Good job lad! Spread the Wealth knowledge is power...and the love of a good woman is triumph!


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

De Greek I voted this article up, funny, useful, awesome and beautiful all at once.

I will come back to leave a proper critique after I read it again..lol


Feline Prophet profile image

Feline Prophet 6 years ago from India

DG, you do have a penchant for collecting wives, don't you? Fortunately for us, you also have a talent for recounting your exploits in a most entertaining fashion! :)


drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

You are a devil in men's clothing, De Greek. Taking advantage of poor innocent unsophisticated women like that. Obviously, the female maternity doctor gave you her number to get you and your cigar out of the nursery where the smoke could be disagreeable for infants.

I haven't a clue about the lobby bar singer who gave you her number but perhaps she was Mongolian and thought you were a landsman.

And as for the opera singer. She had lost her gig at La Scala and the aria at the restaurant was a set-up. The baritone was a shill to make her look good so she could get a new job singing in Athens.

You must change your ways De Greek before it's too late. :))


Christoph Reilly profile image

Christoph Reilly 6 years ago from St. Louis

You, sir, are a rogue, of which I approve. But as for one of your statements - I'll not say which for fear of self incrimination - where exactly in England do you live? I am on to you, of course: With this article you attempt to seduce your female readers; a carefully planned barrage of false flattery and empty promises, but again, I can only approve of your mission and your skilled technique. And excellent humor never hurts.


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

Another wonderful hub! Some men melt at the sound of a woman's singing. I sing, and I've attracted a fair number of suitors with my voice. In fact, a few of them always asked me to sing over the phone to them! I love a man with a good singing voice, also!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

@ Petra, your words are balm to my soul and I thank you.

@ Nellieanna, if your are trying to avoid any blame for this, it's too late as you are already implicated in the crime.

@ Diana, you are just being your usual kind self, but I thank you :D

@ VioletSun you have given me what I yearned for: a feeling that you wanted to read tothe end and that is the most satisfying of feelings. Thank you :D

@ Hmrjmr1 it is the love of many women that eventually becomes our downfall, but what a fun ride, what? :D

@ Melinda, always happy to see your lovely face and to hear your kind comments. I loooove your flattery :D

@ FP do I understand correctly? You actually liked it? :-))

@ drbj it is possible that women want to get rid of the De Greeks. Who am I to say? But it is still fun investigating the possibility :-)

@ Brother Christoph, rogue yourself, is my response Sir! The De Greeks are men of culture and refinement who could not do a roguish thing if you put a gun to their heads. They will only do it without a gun. And I live in Sherwood Forest, just 7 miles from Robin Hood's tree. Are you coming for lunch? :D

@ Habee, then you are a dangerous creature, my girl. The De Greeks sing only in the bath and ONLY when women and children are safely out of danger :-)


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

What a refined roue you are, DG! Those poor women - they never really had a chance, did they? :D


Cris A profile image

Cris A 6 years ago from Manila, Philippines

Lucky is the man who has De Greek blood in his veins for he is not just a man, he's a demigod. Haha


Green Lotus profile image

Green Lotus 6 years ago from Atlanta, GA

As usual a beautiful story peppered with sage advice. It's true, the way to a woman's heart is most definitely through her ears, but in my case I would have to include eyes and imagination since I've yet to hear your (no doubt) intoxicating accent.


dianacharles profile image

dianacharles 6 years ago from India

I came back here to see if you had been tarred and feathered as yet ;)


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

@ Shalini, nahhhhhh... not really :-))

@ Cris, observation and assimilation. That's all. Women do all the work themselves :-)))

@ Green Lotus my accent is like scraping chalk on a black board. Horrible! :-)

@ Diana, you are a baaaaaad girl :-)


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

You are too hilarious, De Greek - I can almost hear the operatic sounds from here in Oregon. But I wonder why you never picked up an accordion player? They of course have wonderful chests and of course very toned upper arms from all that bellow-shaking. You do have a way with the words....and also obviously with the ladies!


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

I hardly know which is best - the hub itself, which is of course, magnificent - but then, the comments and replies to them are a whole'nuther presentation of wit and wisdom!! whoo-hoo!! ;)


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

DG: Noticed my comments were full of typos, sigh. Have been running non stop and it shows when I type super fast. Slooowing down and enjoying the comments here. :)


Lee B profile image

Lee B 6 years ago from New Mexico

The image of you weeping, De Greek, while noticing the woman noticing you is priceless! In fact, the whole thing is priceless! Skip the book and produce the movie. Hmmmm....who should play you?


Shadesbreath profile image

Shadesbreath 6 years ago from California

So here's the thing about this story: As a wordsmith of some credibility myself, I acknowledge and accept and recognize your capacity to do as you claim early on and even that you inded have the wisdom you espouse because your writing gives enough proof to lock that down. Ethos established right off. And, again as a wordsmith of some credibility, comedian of at least passing regard, and blah blah, I'll confirm your point about women being as malleable as they are with the right well timed line, etc... again, ethos AND logos working... And then you get to the story, and, well, it's just a delightful transporation into a world I don't get to play in. The humans, the monkey-people, are dressed up so much better, the training of the voices, so refined (sigh), and not only do I buy it, I am so, so, so there. Man, what an awesome experience, the baritone kicking it made it such an experience to remember... I know why you wrote of it. So cool. Great, great story.

The only reason I'm not jealous is because I'm thinking you don't know what "let it rip" means in America, so, well, I'm not jealous just because of what I thought right there when you said that part, because I envisioned you, all mister cool, walking up to her coming off the plane, and, well, letting it rip. :P

Great story, bro. Seriously.


BJBenson profile image

BJBenson 6 years ago from USA

I see I have been missing some fun why I took my little time off to be sad. But I knew I would fell better reading you!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Brother Shadesbreath, ever since I read your “Vlad the Inhaler” I became an admirer and reading your other stories as they come out I have also become a follower and a believer. Be assured that I know who is the Master here.

In consequence you can appreciate that so much praise from one such as you is heavenly Verdi music to my uncultured ears. Thank you for taking the trouble to offer guidance to someone who is just floundering about with no plan, plot, thought of structure or kind of design.

I have amended the offending phrase (“let it rip”) and I shall take the matter up with my editor Nellieanna who should have picked up on this and letter of complaint shall be addressed to her forthwith, in the most severe tone (what other way is there to thank someone who devotes her time to help you out of the goodness of her heart?). I usually also ask the opinion of JamaGenee, but in this instance I felt that I had overtaken advantage of her kindness, as is, in fact, the case with Nellieanna.

Thank you again for your kind words of encouragement and I assure you that they do mean a lot. :D


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

@ Akirchner accordion players are generally males in my neck of the woods and as such have no attraction for me. It is a pity that you live so far away, otherwise we might have investigated possibilities? :D

Thank you for your kind words :D

@ Nellieanna there is no doubt that the comments are turning out to be much more fun than the story itself. Thank you for your help with this, but as can see from the comments by Shadesbreath, we have slipped up :D

@ VioletSun you are speaking to a dyslexic, child! Errors Are Us! Don’t worry about any typos they are not important. :D

@ Lee B – If only the powers that be would listen to your opinion and to my wife’s opinion I would have it made! Regrettably things do not work out like that! :-)))

@ BJBenson I am sorry about Magic, but perhaps we can cheer you up a little here? :-D


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 6 years ago from South Africa

I had a fun read here, as usual. Loved the "strong chest" bit! That was priceless. How I love women with "strong chests"!

And that musical dinner must have been a treat. Thanks for sharing these witty reminiscences with us ordinary folk.

Love and peace

Tony


akirchner profile image

akirchner 6 years ago from Central Oregon

Yes De Greek, what a pity - that you have no female accordionists and likewise a pity that I never crossed your path! More the pity that I was not playing the accordion decked out in my soccer garb - what a wonderful visual that is. I shall perhaps start a hub series and try to entice more women to play the accordion!


Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 6 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

Dimitiris, just how many women do you need in your life. You cannot go on like this breaking hearts all round on hub pages! Shame on you naughty boy again!!!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

@ Hi Tony, thank you for your usual kindness. When I write these stries I don't know if anyone will really enjoy and I always fel that people are being polite :D

@ Hi akirchner! I would love to see you in your soccer gear playingthe accodion! That wouldbe a sight :D

@ Raye, we are not getting into spanking again are we? Besides the De Greek heart is BIG :-))


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 6 years ago from TEXAS

Shadesbreath - and De Greek - I'm just too innocent to have read any sinister or uncultured meaning into the phrase "let it rip" and particularly in its exquisite context, in which you had just approached her on the tarmac headed for - or was it from - the plane, so that time was of the essence. You'd even redoubled your pace to catch up and finally you're walking beside her, possibly a bit breathless from the hurrying. But the De Greek muse has taken over (how could i possibly have questioned that?) and letting rip just seemed to mean you showered a confident, affirmative, focused mode upon the prey - er - object of attention. Of course, I was sure you would have spoken with finesse and chvalry to the "goddess-in-human-shape", with that muse of yours directing you, certainly with nothing coarse or obvious.

But - alas - I've lived a protected life, you see; always intended to get one of those "underground dictionaries" but never browsed that department when shopping for books. By the time I'd made my selections and left the store, I might remember but not with enough urgency to go back and find one. Now I'm beginning to worry that I may inadvertently use words or phrases whose meanings I didn't intend!

But, DG - you know how meticulous I am in editing, quick to catch any questonable nuance or obvious error. I hope this one slip-up doesn't disqualify me as editor-in-chief! I might step aside if Shades would at least give future works his final once-over for those things my innocence may have overlooked!


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Nellieanna,I too have let a sheltered life and I am not aware of any underground meaning to obvious words. But we must bow to the superior knowledge of our friend :D

Don't worry your position as editor is a solid one:-)))


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 6 years ago from United States

De Greek, This story of your multitude of experiences was wonderfully entertaining. It was humorous and I fully enjoyed it. Great hub.


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Well, DG, I just cannot understand WHY such confusion about opera singer trying to make musicians to find the right key for 5 minutes ONLY? ALL real singers or musicians do it for so long (sometimes even much, much longer), because they want perfect harmony to follow.

Verdi and traditional Greek music are different in tonality, melody line, even tones of certain scale might be a little bit different...so 5 minutes were nothing to get attuned.

Just to add: guitar and bouzouki are not typical instruments for Verdi music to be performed - so bravo for opera singer and musicians for excellent performance and so short time of getting attuned ... Yes - 5 minutes which seemed to suspicious De Greek so long,were actually very short time for attuning singer and musicians who first time met.

Well, if one picks up potential sexual partner somewhere by the way and does not know this person for long enough, nothing strange he becomes suspicious and does not trust...even if his sexual object (or "Goddess") was obviously telling the truth...

Hehe, it is not easy to be a man...


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Tatjana, what can I say? I am just a poor peasant from Cyprus... :-) Five minutes may be short for you, but for me at the time they were endless! :-)))


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Pamela99 thank you for your kind words :-))


Winsome profile image

Winsome 6 years ago from Southern California by way of Texas

DG, while I was rapt with attention to the magnetic narrative--what man cannot be enthralled by the dynamic of woman spots man spots woman spotting man but with gentlemanly restraint to let the quarry gain a sporting lead--one has to wonder if the one being pursued ultimately becomes the hunter and we willing participant males adorn many a parlor wall. Bravo for your most able part in the big game hunt. The fitting finale in the restaurant with the spoor sporting her Verdi coup de grace leaves us not only not caring who is whom, but wondering why it doesn't happen more often. Lovely tale DG.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

I agree with you Winsome. My own head is hanging on so many walls, I've lost count long ago :-)))


Zsuzsy Bee profile image

Zsuzsy Bee 6 years ago from Ontario/Canada

Hahaha, the only comment I'm going to make here is that I believe your wife needs to receive an award and not just a participation ribbon for putting up with your past, present and future. You're way too schmoozy for your own good, better said way too schmoozy for all the women near and far.

once again a great and funny hub, loved it

hope you and your wife are well

kindest regards Zsuzsy


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Past, it's PAST not present or future.. :-)))

Thank you :D


ladyjane1 profile image

ladyjane1 6 years ago from Texas

Ah De Greek interesting story, however you men may think that you are the hunters but your are actually the hunted. We woman are in charge every step of the way....lol Cheers.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Forgive me LadyJane, but I know better than to think that we are the ones doing the hunting!!! :-)))

It is women who lead us by the nose all along the way and give us the impression that WE have been successful in "conquering" them, when all along we are the chumps who are made to jump through hoops :-)))))


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

I'm back! I can't decide if your knowledge of women is a good thing or if it's extremely dangerous! lol


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

I am now safe for human consumption, Habee. My wife has seen to it that I no longer go grazing around pastures which do not belong to me :-)))


epigramman profile image

epigramman 6 years ago

...there is life; there is life-affirming; there are the good things in life; there are life-changing words; there are good people in life; there are life altering words - and then there is DE GREEK!!!!

...which is like an aria by Pavarotti - or the thrill of hearing 'Zobra the Greek' ....


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

You will not believe this, but I am listening to Pavarotti as I work on the Internet and now as I answer your comment. Which, by the way, is far too kind :-)))

What a coincidence, what? :-)


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

As I promised, I came back...lol..I had the same laugh I did the first time, but loved it even better for your adeptness in handling such a funny situation with grace.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 6 years ago from UK Author

Hi Melinda :-) Glad to see you and thank you for your compliment :-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 months ago from TEXAS

July 18, 2016. I'm so happy that you redirected attention to this amusing and worthwhile hub, Dimitris! I shall go back to Facebook and share it on my timeline! Hugs.


De Greek profile image

De Greek 4 months ago from UK Author

You will share it, kid? Wow! That is truly wonderful ;-)


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 months ago from TEXAS

I did! :)

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