Don't Buck the System A Poem

The Australian Taxation Office or ATO is probably much the same as the USA's Inland Revenue Department or IR - a great big, monolithic organization which can cause terrible things to happen to its clients if they make just one or two foolhard 'mistakes.' Here is a poem I wrote when I worked in such an organization.

Don’t Buck the System

There was a taxpayer who made a mistake,

So he phoned up “Enquiries” to ask for a break;

Said they: “Put it in writing, if you want something done,”

And ever since then he has been “in the gun.”

The first letter he wrote, it was lost in the mail,

The second he sent, just knowing he’d fail;

In the second, he had referred to the first,

And the Tax Office answered with sarcastic burst.

“We refer to your letter, the one not received,”

The inference being, he wasn’t believed;

“Please send photo-copy and we’ll look into it,”

So he sent a third letter, after a bit.

The third letter went to a different man,

Who being efficient, then worked out a plan,

To ensure that our taxpayer would get a reprieve,

But before he had finished – he took annual leave.

So this third attempt, it just sat on the shelf,

While our poor old taxpayer was “beside himself,”

For a letter came back: They would “See him in court,”

Because all of his contacts had all come to naught.’

But he was saved by the input of a computer “stopper,”

From the trauma of visit by a local copper;

But so far his troubles had scarcely begun,

As our Taxation Inspectors geared up for some fun.

“Who is this upstart, asking us for a favour?

Taxation’s impartial, so why the big waiver?

We’ll check this man out – this could be a plot,

And, boy! If it is, won’t he cop the lot.”

This isn’t the end of this tragic tale,

Of a taxpayer who almost ended up in gaol;

In brief, he asked no favours again,

For his confidence, it had all gone down the drain.

The moral, of course, is don’t you ever be lax,

In the way you initially make out your tax;

For should the unusual ever take place,

Forget “satisfaction” – you’re not in the race.

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I hope you enjoyed Don't Buck the System - a Poem.