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Fun Facts about Yellow Snow

Updated on December 28, 2009

Fun Facts about Yellow Snow

Authors imbued with insightful inspirations impose themselves on us only once in a generation. Frank Vincent Zappa did such stuff to us. We stand in awe of his prodigious willingness to buck musical status quo by directing his massive talent in directions that encouraged our parents to bleed from their eyes and our peers to buy albums they understood not one whit.

"Yellow snow" may or may not have been the apex of his career. His epic warning to snow-blind groupies still stands as the most clearly stated and accessible caveat in the literary genre of pop culture nutritional guidance.

"Watch out where the huskies go and don't you eat that yellow snow."

The line still engenders chills among those of us who were about to reach down for a handful of chilly powdery goodness. We needed to hear it.

Refrain from heaping blame on canines. The ratio of pristine unyellow snow to used snow remains astronomical; we can slake our thirsts with little effort regardless of the volume of snow dogs dotting the landscape. An invisible fence would benefit us all, but NiCad batteries do not tolerate freezing conditions. And the collars chafe our necks.

Even "Weird Al" Yankovic claims the yellow snow oracle as an influence. Who among us hasn't noticed the subtle similarities between Fat and Peaches and Regalia? How is it possible to make an accordion sound like a Hagstrom?

Please refrain from the refrain

Too many garage groupie John Cage / Frank Zappa / Fee Waybill hopefuls stain the bleeding edge indie soundscape. We propose a constitutional amendment imposing strident penalties upon amateur twangers with mass-produced 6-string clones from The Musicians' Friend. Appropriating the epic phrase Yellow Snow as a nom de plume, even under cover of "tribute band", must be legislated into the mud on Yasgur's Farm. Let it go.

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