Fried Food is Good For You

I love Fried Food. I crave fried food. Fried food makes me happy. The taste of anything fried is enhanced by at least 3 times compared to when it is not. At the same time, fried food is so unhealthy for you. Just as unhealthy as it is delicious in fact; what a cruel trick nature has played on us. They say you should avoid frying altogether, nothing good can come of it. It's all fatty and clogs your liver and arteries and increases your risk of everything. It's not good for you at all....

Or is it?

Fried food is good for you. I happen to be a firm believer that fried food comes packed with something very beneficial. Something that today's society seems to take for granted. Something that everyone needs, but few people have. Let's say for example you're on a typical work day. You wake up at six in the morning, probably couldn't even sleep well last night. You drive to work at 20 miles per hour because of traffic, barely staying awake. At work your boss tells you last weeks assignment was all wrong. Oh wait, did I mentioned your girlfriend broke up with you over the weekend? Your pet goldfish also died.

What a crappy life right? On the way home from work you see the smiling face of The Colonel. Oh but you've been avoiding fried food for the last 2 weeks, you can't break your diet now! Too bad, you're going to have to go home and eat your quarter slice of smoked chicken breast with a bland undressed salad. As you pull into your drive-way you think to yourself... you know what. I'm getting me some fried chicken. I don't care anymore, I just don't care. I can't control anything else in my life, but I can control this!

You reverse back out of your drive-way and speed to the KFC that you saw on the way. Oops, you were speeding so you got pulled over. But oh well, who cares. You're getting fried chicken! You order the bucket meal, some fries on the side. Let's get a gravy too. Maybe some mashed potatoes.

And here you are. Sitting in front of the TV, with a plate full of greasy goodness. The one thing that is right in your life. Every piece of chicken glistening with a golden glow. The fries so tender yet crisp. Forget all your worries, all your regrets. This is true happiness. This is bliss. Some call it nirvana, I call it Fried Food.

Happiness. That is what fried food gives you. Happiness is so hard to come across these days. Life is full of stress, but by eating fried food, you save yourself so much:

• Money: Fried food is cheap. Just drop by McDonald's, KFC, Wendy's, Burger King. Any fast food joint really. There's the dollar menu, value picks, deals of the day. You're happy because you save money.
• Time: Who has times to cook their own food? Go by the drive-through, pick up your meal and be on your way. Less time cooking means more time for doing things you enjoy, like eating fried food.
• Frustration: You don't need to pull your hairs out trying to read labels off of everything you eat. Live life and enjoy it. Eat what you want. Everything else will seem so much better once you start eating fried food.

Fried Food Can Help You Live Longer

Enjoy your double-bacon heart attack burger? No sir, enjoy your 10 years of extra life. Happiness makes you live longer. So if fried food truly makes you happy, then you're prolonging your life. So next time someone comments on how you're well on your way to heart disease or something like that, just roll your eyes at them. They won't understand, and they don't need to. Fried food is healthy for you. Fast food is healthy for you. Depriving yourself of such things is not.

By eating fried food, not only do you live longer, you live a better, happier life as well. You can have your cake and eat it too!