I am not a number!

I've lost my specs

I am 50. There you are I said it, Not a person anymore, only a number. Well that’s what it seems like. My forgetfulness that was always part of my personality, isn’t anymore, its my age. Don’t ask me why, over the years my house keys have been found twice in the trash can, once in the garden, dog’s basket and airing cupboard. I’ve probably have my own section at the bus depots lost and found. Containing umbrellas, handbags, gloves and shopping. But now if I as much as forget someone’s name it’s my age. It’s forced me to try harder to find ways of remembering things. I write numerous reminders, only to forget where I have put them. I’m getting so hung up about it, I Call people “my love or mate’ just incase I commit the heinous crime of forgetting their name. My hair’s another thing I didn’t know has a connection to my age. Someone said “you dye your hair, don’t you. Is it because you are grey?’ Grey! How the hell should I know? I’ve dyed it since my teens, only God knows what it’s original color is. If its my age that causes me to do this to my hair then it’s been my age since 18. Also it’s Burgundy, no prize for guessing I dye it. What’s wrong with the world? Yes when I look in the mirror there is a middle aged woman, but without the mirror it’s me, I’m still in here, and to honest quite proud of the fact. The arthritis in my left thumb, it’s not my age; it’s too much time playing guitar hero; very loudly. Not because of a hearing impediment, but because I’m sorry to say rock music should be played that way. In my book that should be the law.

  • ‘What did you do last night?’ is something co-workers often ask. My reply, “nothing much” Why? Because if I tell them “I played unreal tournament, painted my war hammer orcs then blasted my ears out with heavy rock music, I don’t know if the world could cope. Guessing from the presents I get from friends now, probably not. Take my last set of presents from friends; a Vase, a china dish thing and god help me potpourri. Is that how the world sees me, pot -pourri, a bag of dried bit that sits in a corner and smells? Also my role among friends has changed, I’m the agony aunt. I listen to endless domestic situations, shown all kinds of rashes and scaly skin. No I don’t know what I would do if I was you. Why should I know? But if you push me for an answer, stop showing people that disgusting rash would be a good start.

Did you know there are adult clothes out there with ages on? I didn’t until recently. Apparently anything bright or sparkly is to young for me. My sequined hand bag and shoes are age related. They are too young for me. Well sorry they aren’t going anywhere I like them, so get over it.

When I was a child I lived near both my Granddads. One of them told me he didn’t know when his birthday was or how old he was. As a child I was so sorry for him as the thought of missing out of having presents and cards on your special day was heartbreaking. But now I see how smart this was. While my other granddad got older year by year, birthday by birthday. He stayed the same. Just granddad. When he died in 1982 everyone was shocked to know he was 92. He didn’t look it, or seem it, was what everyone said. Perhaps the clever old goat had found the answer to eternal youth? Or does forgetfulness run in families?

So here I am cruising down the motorway of life in the middle lane. O k its not the fast lane like it was a few years back, but I’m not pulling into the slow lane once a month either. So if you see me, rock music blasting sequined hand bag dazzling, give me a wave. But please don’t ask me to stop as I don’t know if my breaks work and you don’t want a wreck on your hands.

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Comments 15 comments

jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England Author

Thanks 2uesday, I'm about to have another birthday, they seem to be coming round quicker ans quicker. Thanks for the comment


2uesday profile image

2uesday 6 years ago from - on the web, I am 2uesday.

Rock on jayjay, let the pot-pourri crowd getting on with dusting their trinkets; your rock music will stop it from settling. Enjoyed reading this.


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England Author

Thanks support Med, I loved writing this hub and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it


Support Med. profile image

Support Med. 6 years ago from Michigan

We're not just a number. We're still here!! Good read!! Congrats on 100 Followers!


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England Author

I was amazed as well that there are clothes too young to wear. The music is still loud, but I think people will now think that I am deaf. Still life goes on. Thanks for the comment and write that hub.


wrenfrost56 profile image

wrenfrost56 6 years ago from U.K.

There are clothes with an age limit? Well thats just silly! Keep krankin that music up jayjay! Actually you have just given me a great idea for a hub, cheers! :)


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England Author

It's a funny time of life, Lovelypaper, Not funny ha ha but funny peculiar. I'm glad you enjoyed the hub


lovelypaper profile image

lovelypaper 6 years ago from Virginia

When I read this, I'm laughing at myself, not you. My mind is leaving me and I'm only in my fourties. I guess I'm in big trouble.


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England Author

We seem to have a bond, your hub about mid life crisis had me laughing for ages. Thanks for the comment


Tammy Lochmann profile image

Tammy Lochmann 6 years ago

jayjay...I laughed big time about this, especially the potpourri bit. You have a fantastic sense of humor. I know what you mean about being a number though. I also laughed at the bit about not knowing what your hair color is. I have no idea what mine is either, I have been dying it since I was about 13.


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 6 years ago from Bristol England Author

The same as me jaiek13, I don't feel 50 either, though the mirror is not kind


janiek13 profile image

janiek13 6 years ago from Florida's Space Coast

I just turned fifty in december, I do not feel it.


jayjay40 profile image

jayjay40 7 years ago from Bristol England Author

Thanks for your comment, I'm glad I'm not alone feeling my age. Great Pig joke loved it


drbj profile image

drbj 7 years ago from south Florida

Very insightful hub, jayjay - found myself relating to it. I've posted a pig joke just for you on my latest hub: Pig Facts and Pig Trivia. Enjoy.


mrwerd profile image

mrwerd 7 years ago from South West, United Kingdom

Nice! Never judge a book by its cover. Or age, at least! Good work - carry on!

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