Know the Facts About a Zombie Apocalypse and Be Prepared

There's a lot of literature out there about what to do when the zombie apocalypse hits us. A lot of them, however avoid the real issues. None take a real stand and tell it like it is, until now.

The information contained in this article could be the most important thing you'll ever read. Commit it to memory, as zombies won't care about a slow internet connection.

Arm Yourself

Nearly every piece of zombie cinema has average people lining up ambling zombies with some sort of fire arm, and through some shear act of luck, the zombies head is struck and taken down. Guess what, most people spend ample amounts of time seated in front of some type of screen, and what we have seen may fool us into believing, we ourselves, can accomplish this feat. However, unless you are a Navy Seal sniper, you cannot take the head off of an ambling stiff from 10-paces. This is not even taking into account that zombies could sprint wildly, as in the movie "28 Days Later". Sorry, but no matter how many video games you've played, you can't do it.

Also, how much ammo do you have? Most arms dealers in your area will have been ransacked by rednecks before you muster up enough courage to leave your basement.

Small hand-held weapons are no good either. You want as much distance as possible between you and those teeth, as the coagulated blood flies.

Stick to elongated two-handed weapons, such as a bat, a machete or a light gardening spade. These items are easy to carry, easy to use and you probably have one already. They don't need instructions, and they don't need ammo. So, swing away. Bonus points, if you own a great sword.

There's Safety In Numbers

It's best to understand that lines are drawn during a zombie apocalypse. There are those that can speak and use tools on one side, versus those that can amble and feed on the other. There's no need for in-fighting.

We're all on the same side. You're going to need to pee sometime, so you might as well have someone watching your back.

Remain Agile

It might seem like a good idea to barricade yourself into a bunker to wait out the massacre, but how secure are those bunkers really? Can it withstand the pummeling of a hoard of zombies that feel no pain? Can wooden planks propped up against doorways really stand the test of time? How long will you have to remain hunkered down, like a rat? Do you have enough rations to wait it all out?

It's best to keep moving, like nomads. Pick a spot, and settle in for a night or two, but don't get comfortable. Zombies don't have homes, so why should you? They'll seek you out and find you, so keep yourself ahead of the onslaught.

Keep a Sentimental Item Close

You know what I'm talking about. It's that small, palm sized item that gives you the strength to keep going, when you otherwise wouldn't. It's that thing you'll need to look and reminisce upon, as the skin is being ripped from your bones, in your last dying moments.

Imagine it. You look into the eyes of your loved ones for the last time, and tell them to go on ahead, while you buy them some time. They protest, but you insist. No more words are needed, as they disappear out of sight. You can hear the rumbling of the ambling corpses closing in. Take a look at the item in your palm, as you wield your weapon in the other hand. Stiffen up your lip, and remember why you're doing it. As you see the torn flesh and awkward steps of your enemies' as they approach in an unflinching hoard, ball the item up in an angry fist and give 'em hell.

It's what separates us from them. Well, one thing.

Hope

You got to believe, man. You got to believe there's something better on the other side, when the hoards of zombies fall, and humanity is reborn. You know it will come someday. And you have to believe you'll be among those left standing. So, have a plan for declaring yourself the benevolent dictator, messiah, grand poo-bah or what-have-you. That day will come. Have your robes and minions ready, and good luck!

For Next Time...the rebuild of society, with you as its leader.