My List of Things I Would Have Done on Giligan's Island

(from left), Russell Johnson, as the professor; Jim Backus as Thurston Howell III; Natalie Schafer, as Mrs. Howell III; Alan Hale Jr., as the skipper; Bob Denver, as Gilligan; Judith Baldwin replacing original cast member Tina Louise, as Ginger, and Dawn Wells, as Mary Ann.

Any time that I want to enjoy nostalgia from my youth, all I need do is get on a satellite television channel that deals in re-runs of the 1960’s, and find Gilligan’s Island. That’s all. No booze, pills, party-loving friends.

Just (the late) Bob Denver as the golden-hearted “Gilligan,” and (the also-late) Alan Hale, Jr. as the “Skipper,” and the rest of the cast: Russell Johnson, as the professor; Jim Backus as Thurston Howell III; Natalie Schafer, as Mrs. Howell III; Alan Hale Jr., as the skipper; Bob Denver, as Gilligan; Judith Baldwin replacing original cast member Tina Louise, as Ginger, and Dawn Wells as Mary Ann.

Of course that, with all of their best-laid plans, failed, but not without each member of the tribe giving it the “old college try.” If I had been with this crew and endured so many failures, I guess I would have lobbied for “throwing in the towel,” and making a go of living our lives as forgotten faces once known by friends and family.

Why not give up and just have a great time creating a good life with what you have?

To prove my point, I give you all of the good things that the castaways had going for them:

• Fresh water year round thanks to the Professor’s IQ in making a purification system.
• Fresh, healthy food for the taking. No tax. No snooty cashiers. No long lines.
• An abundance of materials for housing. In some episodes, this has already been accomplished. Hammocks included.
• An abundance of materials for boat, raft and catamaran-building.
• No blizzards. No ice on the roads and no below-zero weather. Sunshine all of the time.
• No nosy neighbors. Everyone knew everything about everyone.

Need I go on? I could very easily. In a way of speaking, these people “had it made,” and were never brave enough to admit it.

With each episode, I envied Gilligan. Why wasn’t he ever called by his first name? And what was his first name? I am glad I asked that question, for my research led me to his first name: Willy. That is true. Willy Gilligan. Not Buck, Jim, or Roy. But Willy.

While we are on this “Faded Gilligan’s Island Facts,” The Skipper’s name was, Jonas Grumby and the Professor’s name was Roy Hinkley. Fun, huh?

Mrs. Howell’s maiden name was Lovelle Eunice Wentworth thus the “Lovey,” nickname given to her by husband, Thurston Howell, III.

Now, with all of our super-convenient e-technology, “I” don’t have to dream anymore about hanging-out with the folks on Gilligan’s Island. With the magic of HubPages, I am there. So to speak.

Oh if I had only been on the Minnow and had been ship-wrecked with all of these people whom I loved, the things I would have enjoyed on this dessert island.

I am proud to share this heart-felt list with you right now:

• Made friends with the sweet and very-pretty Mary Ann.
• Took-up for Gilligan when the rest of the crew conveniently-blamed him for “their” bumbling mistakes.
• Took Mary Ann for long walks in the moonlight.
• Talked in-length with the Professor and learn all that I could about making a working radio from coconut shells.
• Had lunch with Mary Ann and confessed my very soul to her.
• Make some “brownie points,” with Mr. Howell and tip him off on some fantastic stock investments such as Microsoft, Apple computers, iPads and the list goes on.
• Took Mary Ann a bouquet of pretty island flowers.
• Gave Jonas, the Skipper, some free anger management sessions.
• Write poems and read them to Mary Ann.
• Be super-nice to Mrs. Howell for everyone knew that she was the head of the Howell house.
• Take Mary Ann on moonlight swims.
• Get to know Willy Gilligan because none of the crew ever did that as long as the show lasted.
• Send Mary Ann some romantic messages by the monkey I would train for such tasks.
• Each time the gang wanted to just repair the Minnow and go home, I would step-in and discourage such dangerous ideas.
• Learn to build my own island hut and invite Mary Ann over for a candlelight dinner.
• Always tell Mary Ann just how beautiful she is.
• Be casual friends with Ginger and learn what it takes to be in show business.
• Learn where Mary Ann lived and what her life was really like back in civilization.

And finally, I would build my own raft and Mary Ann and I would sail away into the sunset.

Oh, without telling anyone that we were gone.