Prince William’s Engagement: The Road to Overexposure

Prince William’s engagement to Kate Middleton was announced by the Royal Family on November 16, 2010. Media frenzy immediately ensued and comparisons to Prince Charles and Diana’s wedding in 1981 were thrown about like confetti on New Year’s Eve. The engagement ring, previously belonging to Princess Diana, has taken up hours of news coverage like it was an epic revelation that a dude gave his lady his mother’s ring. While sentimental and special, that’s really not earth-shattering.

Speaking of not shocking, any report that makes this engagement sound like it was a surprise is totally off its head. They have been dating for 8 friggin’ years. It’s not like the prince was out on the town one night, plucked some pauper from the local bar and ran off to Vegas with her (although I’m sure Disney has a movie in the works with a similar plot). Besides, that would be pretty strange to take such a long plane ride just to marry a stranger.

Obviously, this is a historical event and deserves media attention. However, I can already tell that the coverage is going to be a non-stop train ride to Nauseaville. For their sake, I wish the media would give them a “Yay for you!” for like a day and then leave them alone until the wedding. It’s not like they can have a tiny intimate ceremony in the Bahamas or somewhere, and a lot of the information will be released by the Royal Press Secretary (or whatever he/she is called) eventually. In the meantime, 99% of what will be reported over the next several months will be pure speculation, then the big day will arrive and a lot of people will have sounded like complete idiots. Why not save a little bit of that hot air and all go on a balloon ride in a year?

I understand the royal obsession to a point, especially since Prince William is my age.  As a young American girl, the dream of meeting a prince and living happily ever after has been shoved down my face since birth.  I’m not knocking the idea that some nice fella may ride up on a pony and pay my bills for the rest of my life, but I’m also not holding my breath waiting to be rescued from self-asphyxiation. 

The thing is, Prince William doesn’t even seem like a whole lot of fun (Prince Harry on the other hand, clearly knows how to have a good time), so what’s the appeal?  Their relationship is being built into some big fairy tale, when it truly seems like a standard run-of-the-rich-people-mill engagement.  In fact, they seem to have a way better foundation than most people, which is good since they’re going to be under ridiculous scrutiny for the rest of their lives. 

People have already remarked about the importance of their unborn children, being heirs to the throne and all.  Who are we kidding?  Queen Elizabeth is going to live forever.  She’s like 285-years old and sturdy as an oak (or some other strong tree).  I like that tough ol’ bird. 

Good job, Kate!  You snagged Wills at the peak of his hotness and stuck it out with him for way longer than most (American?) women would.  I hope that they’re happy together, but mostly, I hope that I don’t have to hear about their pending nuptials every day until they finally tie the knot in 8-10 months.  I don’t want to miss out on the real news—like celebrities crashing their cars and going to rehab.   My time is extremely valuable.