Secret Lover: Songs I Hate to Love (Updated 2/5/12)

Some songs I hear and I'll readily admit to loving them to anyone. Then, there are those songs I wish I could shout to the world that I love. But I decided to no longer hold myself back and admit to loving songs that people probably wouldn't associate with my personality.

Most people see me as nice and probably even kind of quiet. I have certain tastes in music, movies, and etc. I do appreciate that I talk about openly and then there are those other songs.

I'm not saying I have a secret identity. But for some reason there are songs that I think are cool, but have trouble declaring my love for them. It's like having an affair and feeling guilty about it.

It might be the beat. It might be the rhymes. It might even be a young Snoop Dogg gettin' funky on the mike like an old bunch of collard greens.

I think it's the way the beat bounces and that high whistle like sound that somehow induces me into a musical trance. It's like when I hear that beat begin, it makes me feel real groovy. Almost like I could nod my head and look like I know what I'm doing to a certain extent, but mainly I just think for some strange reason I am part Snoop Dogg.

My childhood nickname, is similar in that it was inspired by my resemblance to Boo Boo from Yogi the Bear as his was by Snoopy from the Peanuts. I have my own distinct way of speaking and using words. And I dig the funky influences he reinterprets in his music. But that's where it ends, at least that's what I tell myself.

Check baby, check baby, one two three. Everytime I hear that phrase I start believing it's 1992 and Teddy Riley's about to rock the mic. My adoration of this song goes way back to when I was a kid and for some reason I'd sing the hook "All I wanna do is zoom zoom and a boom boom." Of course I don't know what it means and still don't.

But I can't divorce myself from that song because unfortunately every time I think I hate it, I start jamming. And keep jamming and then long after, it's stuck in my head all day. I think it's for a very simple reason.

As much as people like to decry songs about various parts of the female anatomy, we all close our eyes and pretend they're talking about something else like chicken. The beat gets us and sometimes even the rhymes. But Teddy Riley packed another weapon, a very young Pharrell Williams wrote his rhymes. And we know where he ended up.

Color Me Badd should never be readily available to listen to. I mean these guys are like the ultimate compilation of celebrity look alikes (Kenny G, Johnny Damon, and David Silver's mustachioed cousin). This is a recipe for disaster. But for some reason, I can't seem to escape them. I'm not just talking about "I Wanna Sex You Up" that helped inspire one of my all-time favorite SNL clips (see photo at right), but the other songs like "I Adore Mi Amor" and "All for Love".

If I had to pick one that was cheesetastically awesome it would be "I Adore Mi Amor" which is what we can all say is a failed attempt at Spanglish. While one of the members is Latino, it sounds more like a cheesy pickup line than anything else. It's not a song I would want someone who's into me to serenade me with. However, I'll count myself lucky if I meet someone who can hold a tune:).

And the video is the cheese whiz that tops it all. But like I said, I like cheese.

Is it wrong that in my sophomore year of college, my roommate and I were scheming to go as Rob and Fab from the infamous Milli Vanilli? Is it wrong that I get mad everytime I can't find the original version for my iPod? What about the fact that I sometimes I try to memorize the dance moves from the video so maybe one day I can bust a move?

It's all wrong, but so right. This song is cheesy, but catchy. Lip-synched but sang perfectly. Staged but so real. I want to hate myself everytime I start singing that song but I can't. It's like the thing I wish would go away but never does. As long as there's YouTube, it never will.

I have openly admitted that I like the combination of JT and Timbaland. For the most part, they turn regular songs into catchphrases, love notes, and breakup anthems. However, for every five "Cry Me A River" there is at least one "Carry Out."

If you haven't heard this song, then consider yourself lucky. Because everytime I hear it that darn beat takes me into some trance where I cannot stop grooving. And then I get hungry. That makes things even worse.

How do two guys manage to compare food to "romance" and make me like it? it's wrong, I say wrong. And not only that, I do not want to be thought of as a personal delivery service for anyone.

But it's so catchy! And it helps me move when I'm on the treadmill. And it is Timbaland and JT in the same song! Dang it, they win again.