The Vampire Diaries -- To Tell The Truth

I’m way behind on recapping The Vampire Diaries. This was the last episode that I managed to DVR before I lost my cable and Internet and now I’m having to play catch-up at the local library.

Okay, I’m still getting the feeling this is all going to be written off as a bad dream. That a comatose Elena imagined everything from the moment she collapsed in her bedroom at home. The DE’s get to have their DE romance with all their fantasies becoming reality and Paul Wesley can get his new love interest he’s been yapping about to Mama Julie about wanting and it can all be a bad dream and ultimately be erased as the show edges towards wrapping up the series in a neat little bow.

There would be a lot of benefits to it all being a dream. Klaus would be dead. Stefan wouldn’t have let Elena die. And April Young would never have come to town. Seriously, to quote the loathsome Vampire Barbie, has there ever been a bigger waste of space than April Young?

She unstaked Rebekah and the Original Vampiress decides she wants to play a little game of To Tell The Truth with her least favorite people: Stefan, Elena and Cacaline. One-by-one she captures and compels them. First she helps Elena discover her so-called BFF ratted her out to Stefan and told him she slept with Damon. Elena in turn pops Cacaline’s sire bond balloon by saying she slept with Damon because she’s in love with him not sired to him. Still wanting to get her pound of flesh, Rebekah further probes Elena who says while she loves Stefan she’s not in love with him because when he looks at her he sees a broken toy he needs to fix. Then Rebekah calls up Tyler and compels him to turn into a werewolf so he can either eat the three vampires or bite them and make them die a long agonizing death.

Elena wants to talk to Stefan about what Rebekah made her say, but he tells her to talk to the hand and that she just lives to make him suffer. Then he asks Rebekah to compel him so he has no memory of Elena, but Rebekah won’t do it. She channels season 1 Damon telling Steffy he’s going to suffer a lifetime of misery.

Kol comes to town and he and Rebekah torture Professor Shane for info. Kol says Shane must die for wanting to resurrect Silas. Only Bonnie does a protection spell with a bone necklace the prof gave her for graduation Expressionism 101. Problem is the show’s professional victim, April, gets linked to Shane and she’s the one suffering whatever Kol does to Shane. Kol thinks he’s killed Shane but he comes to after he leaves, while Stefan gives April his blood to revive her. It would have been better if he’d have let her die.

To recap. Cacaline didn’t track down April when she learned she was wearing a vervain bracelet and compel her properly. Instead she went over to glue her lips to Stef-Fun’s backside and to rat out her so-called friend Elena by telling him she slept with Damon. Because of that the loose cannon went and unstaked Rebekah. And because Stef-Fun saved her worthless hide she went over to Liz and Bonnie’s father, Rudy, who is the new mayor, and ratted out Shane for brainwashing her father into killing all The Council members. And God only knows what else she’s going to tell them.

Speaking of Cacaline, we had a rare site of her actually giving Tyler some comfort opposed to backstabbing him for buddy, Stef-Fun. He managed to turn back and not eat Rebekah’s three least favorite vampires. As for her beloved Stef-Fun, he seems to have decided to trade her in for a better vampire model. He asks Rebekah to team up with him since they both hate their brothers.

Up at Vampire Slayer Boot Camp, Damon is actually trying to train Jeremy to be able to defend himself as a slayer with the help of Matt, when Klaus shows up. Klaus isn’t the patient type. First, he vampirizes the local pizza delivery girl who tries to eat Matt, so Jeremy has to kill her. Then he kills a whole bar full of people with Damon’s cooperation and turns them into a vampire so Jeremy can kill them, too.

On the romantic front, Elena calls up Damon to tell him she loves him. I have to admit Damon is kind of starting to bore me a bit. Granted Stef-Fun isn’t Mr. Fun, but Elena may actually make him more boring than he is. She’s doing a pretty good job of it with Damon who used to be the best character to watch on the show. Damon is just better when he’s paired with someone with some fire to match his own fire like Katherine or Rebekah. Elena with Damon is like a bucket of water that’s putting out his fire, rapidly.

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