Eight Years Since The World Was Left - Empty

Healing the world and making it a better place was not just lyrics to Michael. It was his whole life. In death he punctuated those words. "Heal The World" is 6 minutes and 25 seconds in length.

Whenever I try to put thoughts about Michael into my own words, I get stuck. I need his help to let the words flow, spill out, in a way that feels different than when I'm just writing and editing, and editing and editing.

If you don't believe in channeling, it's okay. It doesn't stop the words from flowing. I believe that everyone can "tune in." We're just spirits in physical bodies, living this Earth experience. When we "channel" it's just other spirits helping us survive down here. Am I channeling a spirit that was Michael?

It was never my intent to channel anyone. It's kind of embarrassing, actually. It feels like there is a part of my being that has merged and melded with a spirit that seems to be the one we once knew as Michael Jackson. I don't know how else to explain it. I was NOT a "huge fan" before Michael passed from this earth. I never attended a concert. I didn't have a T-shirt with his face on it - then. Now I think there are at least ten in my closet...did I just admit that?

Sometimes I seem to be doing this in spite of myself. I come from a background of religious beliefs that are extremely similar to what Michael grew up with. Maybe that's the connection. I've tried to stop. I don't want to be known as "that goofball that thinks she's getting messages from Michael Jackson." So what's the deal?

It seems to me, that he wasn't finished healing this world. There's so much he still wants to do. He had such an essence of compassion while here, it makes sense that he would still want to help us. He never felt understood - as expressed in many of his songs, especially "Childhood."

But he doesn't need attention for himself anymore. He doesn't need people to worry about him. I think he just wants to keep helping us - from a position of pure power and spirit. It's kind of amazing, really.

I too loved Thriller, Billie Jean and his spectacular dancing, videos and short films. But I truly did not pay that much attention to the man, except to ponder the changes in his face, and feel sad for him, as I would any person who was falsely accused and made into the butt of countless late-night talk show jokes. He told us that it hurt him. What if NOTHING was true of the accusations? Michael's life was an example of how we see celebrities as our personal property at times. Entertain us!!!! You have feelings? Shut up!

What are we? Where's the gratitude? We make so many demands. They exceed and electrify stages for us - then they have problems - and we're done with them. What does that say about us as people?

I went through a time of wondering if he was guilty of the terrible accusations. I don't think I ever could have deeply believed in his guilt - I never sensed a creepy vibe from him at all. And he wrote song after song about healing our world. It didn't make sense.

I was most confused when one of his close family members made a compelling statement regarding the accusations. That scared me. I felt sick inside, because my daughter adored him and wanted everything MIchael, Michael, Michael! My daughter did have a T-shirt. After I heard the family member's statement, I gave the T-shirt away. It made me sad though. I wasn't sure. I couldn't get that distant memory out of my mind or heart - of my then two-year-old daughter singing "Heal The World." She had sung it with such conviction years ago. But I'm a mom first. I didn't want my daughter to make a hero of someone who could harm children. Fear does stupid things. Is that why some abandoned him?

When your star rises that high, is it fate that brings it smashing to the ground in a colossal explosion? In this case, fate had help from jealousy, greed and a vindictive district attorney.

As evidence came out - and I actually paid attention to the types of people accusing Michael - (unlike the media at large). I saw the accusers motivations and seriously doubted that any of the things said against him were true. When his family member finally recanted the statement, I wondered how Michael could ever forgive this person. That took an amazing heart of compassion. I was even more convinced of his innocence, after seeing how forgiving he was.

When he was found innocent of all ten counts on June 13, 2005, I thought he would have some peace - hopefully regain respect - and the comedians would apologize and get better material. Geez - I didn't know much about the entertainment world or the world of mash-n-slash media.

Unfortunately, Michael made it easy for people to worry or wonder about him. But there was something that far outshone the excessive surgeries or erratic behavior. He was so incredibly generous to those in need! He never gave up, though his heart was surely broken when public opinion remained mixed and many saw him as a joke or worse.

I don't know what form he takes now, but his purpose seems clear.

His spirit is infusing thousands with his dream of helping and giving to those in need. I have seen a school being built in his name, toys sent for holidays, charities flooded with donations, artists giving their original works to make donations to charity, authors donating money earned from their books, people buying his music to give it away to those who can't afford it - just to name a few - and all because these people wish to keep his dream alive - to embody Michael's dream of making the world a better place.

There is definitely something MORE happening here than just "fans out of control." The people I've met are educated, loving, sane people whose hearts were touched so deeply by Michael's generosity in life that they are compelled to continue it in his name. It is a growing consciousness, a tribute that doesn't require dance lessons.

It's channeling LOVE. Love doesn't need any other name. But that's what Michael always talked about - "It's all for love."

He's not done. His love for humanity is unbreakable.