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way too old

Updated on March 2, 2011

It apparently occurs in everyone's life. A time when that which was held as an enjoyment, becomes a thing of the past. Things like huge rollercoaster rides, playing sports like soccor or football, or rollerskating, and now, it is my rock concerts..... I have probably went to my last one.

Before anyone turns away, thinking this old lady is nuts, I have and always will love rock and roll music. Hell, i am old enough to enclude the "roll" part. Elvis, the Beatles, the Who, Rush, Tom Petty and Heartbreakers, Journey.... Now it is Shinedown, Nickelback, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, Disturbed.... that keeps wanting me to go to concerts. But the days of Market Square Arena are as gone as it is, and we have to make the long trek to Verizon, an outdoor venue, that provides the cheap seats known as the Lawn.

Now up to a year ago, I could stand for the three or four hour concerts that I would take my daughter to. Limber enough to get out of the path of the parties and smart enough to weave my way thru the crowd, keeping her away from the sex, the drugs, and the booze that always goes on when one chooses the lawn.

Nickelback was coming to Verizon. By the time I was able to get off work by making a trade to guarantee that we could go, nothing was left but the lawn, and so we took those tickets. Don't know if it was the recession, don't know if there was a sale at the bars, don't know what exactly happened this particular year.. but the realization of being too old became all too apparent that night. My daughter laughs now, being eighteen, and very spry... and she would giggle to think that I would share this one concert with anyone.

So let's get to the event, shall we? The concert and music were GREAT. This is not a revue of the show, more like a revue of the audience. Once we got there, after standing for a very long time just to get in, I found my stamina to stand had disappeared under the hot sun. We pulled up and settled in a nice part of the lawn for I had to sit. My hips, back and ankles had only started to scream. In my rush, the acetaminophen and Ibuprofen had been left on the counter at home, much to my chagrin. People gathered around us, drinking and being friendly. Life was still good, as everyone called me the granny of the group.

When the first chord was struck, a young couple pushed their way, or rather stumbled their way into our midst. The man was about six foot or so, about three hundred pounds or so, at least from my perspective. His woman was short, fiesty, and loud. Both were very innebriated(spell check) and for those who don't know that word, they were stinking drunk. Should we leave, entered my mind... and to this day, I blame myself. The man obviously had to go to the restroom. He did manage to stumble away and got lost in the crowd. Life was good. Shinedown was GREAT. As my view of the next band was blocked I looked up and like a slow motion action scene, the  jolly green giant of a guy was standing, or should i say, swaying over me, and as realization hit me, he started to fall. Old lady, move it, was my last thought, but could only lay back as flat as I could and turn my leg and foot so as not to end up unnaturally bent. The giant landed with me recieving an elbow to the ankle. With an incredible grace, the man then got up and ran up the hill on the lawn, now being followed by four very tiny security guards. My daughter screamed to tell them I was hurt, but their focus traveled to giant guy and I was rubbing my anke. Should have left... entered my mind again.

The guards generously brought the drunk back to our area, found his girl for him, and left. My I was trying to figure if I would be able to walk back to the car. The man now was being cushoned by several other kinder, more maintained drunks. One man was delegating, and designating who was in charge of protecting the old lady... me. As much as I appreciated the gesture, the official boy child that was now placed in the role of my protector stood about five two and must have been all of a hundred pounds, if that much, and maybe sixteen. but I digress. Apparently, Mr. Giant did not make it to the bathroom. He relieved himself, which I will tell you, I was able to stand then.   I watched in horror  as his eyes rolled back and he started to  pass out. It reminded me of Moses parting the Red Sea, as the men, especially my protector jumped out of the way. Luckily my daughter pulled me back in time.  While  I landed hard on my back side, Mr. Giant fell to my feet. ( thinking to myself, i bet his mother would be proud, again, I am sorry, my mood really was beginning to be affected. )

The three songs we heard of Nickelback were GREAT. And we left. Sore, limping, with the memory of Mr. Giant waking up, leaning on me, whispering a sloppy apology in my ear, and suddenly wretching. Thank God for dry heaves.

What brought this on? Why would I share this with you? Oh, that is easy. My daughter traveled downstairs to let me know that Nickelback was coming to town again. She gave me a wicked smile and said, "Want to get lawn tickets?"

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