Are Your Teens Sharing Reality Porn

Early March a video clip was viewed six hundred times on YouTube in London before it was reported. It showed a drugged mother in her mid-twenties being raped.

Paris Hilton was doing it in the US. Edison Chen was doing it in Hong Kong. If you think this is only happening to a couple of wild celebrities, just read on.

Last November, eight Australian boys drugged a 17-year-old girl. They filmed their sexual assault of the girl and distributed it via mobile phone.

Early March a video clip was viewed six hundred times on YouTube in London before it was reported. It showed a drugged mother in her mid-twenties being raped by three teenage boys. Her toddler-children were crying in the background.

Yes, I meant to shock you with those examples. In the US, Europe, Asia and practically every city and town, drunk or / and drugged boys are getting their mates to video them having sex with drunk or / and drugged girls in pub toilets or karaokes.

Our Village Earth, like her many inhabitants, is both good and evil. So is modern technology, the convenience of mobile phone with audio-visual capabilities and the ease one can disseminate information over the internet. The fact that you “can” do something doesn’t mean you “should” or “have to” do it. You might say, “What’s the big deal? Weren’t we all curious and reading soft, or even hard porn in some stages of our lives.” The main difference could well be that while we were having restricted access to choreographed (it’s all fictitious) porn, they are having easy access to reality porn and perverted porn (video recording of sexual offence which actually occurred). Unfortunately, to our teenagers, being able to do something often urges them to try to do it and prove that it can be done. I don’t have the answers to solving this problem. I am here to stimulate discussion and thoughts on the issue. Some of my readers and fellow-hubbers must have found ways to protect their teenagers and help them to think for themselves in this day and age that anything goes and leaves them dazzled. Please feel free to share on the topic. Readers who might be following my articles will know that my eldest son has recently turned sixteen and started to give me the teen-parent’s blues. Whenever I am not in self-pity, I am acutely conscious of the fact that I only have a couple more years left to exert my positive influence on him. I can still remember leaving home to study abroad when I was seventeen. Should my son do something similar, his “apprenticeship” at home would only have one year to go. Can we, the good master magicians, teach him enough tricks to survive the dark forces of the evil world in time (apologies to JK Rowling)? Here are some of my thoughts and some of the things that I’m trying to put in action:

1. Have fun together. For teenagers, having fun is so important. If you can show them life can be fun without alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, TV mini-series on seduction and murder and magazines featuring nothing but hot gossips, half the war is won. I am by no means standing on moral highland, on this count. I do plead guilty of having made the mistake of drinking too much in front of the children before. Fortunately, I had the chance to ask them their views on this. They told me I talked too much and looked stupid after drinking one or two too many. Your teens probably feel the same. If they don’t, you should be even more worried. They are likely to do the same.

2. Choose your descriptives carefully. Avoid using words that portraits the female (or male) body or part as a sex object and sex as a light entertainment activity, the way popular show-business magazines would.

3. Know what they enjoy doing and give them plenty of opportunities to develop these areas and hobbies.

4. Don’t trust them with the computer or internet. Use parental guidance features and filter features by all means, but you still need to pay attention to what they are doing with their internet browsers. Look out for signs that they are into adult contents. Carol Hunt shared the following practical hints in her article dated 16 Mar 2008, in the Independent.ie website: “Log on to the computer that he or she uses. Look up the history file. If it has been deleted, worry. Ask them for their Bebo / Facebook password. If their mates can access their page, why can't you? What's that? They are entitled to their privacy? Not if they are under 18, under your roof and you're paying for their internet access, they're not. Check the video and film images on their mobile phones. Yes, I know your little Jimmy/Chloe/Oisin wouldn't dream of downloading nasty video clips, but that doesn't mean they don't receive them from their less wholesome friends.”

5. Be your teen’s father (or mother). Show your disapproval gently when they share indescent jokes or expressions. It’s been lamented on how fathers become their teens’ mates these days because they lack the moral courage to be their fathers.

6. Be your teen's mate. It was a terrifying experience to be a teenager in my time. It still is these days. Put yourself in their shoes. Understand them. Help them. Compete with their mates for their trust so that you can influence them positively. Even without the bonus of being able to influence them, it feels great to be able to be my teen’s mate. This reassures me that I am not that old, strict, or boring, after all.

You may also be interested in Dr Benson Yeung's other hubs on parenting and teenager:

Last Night I Dreamed Of Dad

Another life lost on the highway

What is a Youth

Last Night I Dreamed Of Dad

An unforgettable marathon

Can You Replace Your Son's Head On His Shoulders

More by this Author


Comments 19 comments

Lgali profile image

Lgali 7 years ago

very bold topic nicely written


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi Lgali,

thanks for the kind comment.


blondepoet profile image

blondepoet 7 years ago from australia

That is great to come out and say the things you have.I agree with you 100%.A lot of parents just worry constantly instead of looking for themselves what they are viewing.I like your direct approach.


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi blondepoet,

good to see you again. Thanks for your support.


Tom Rubenoff profile image

Tom Rubenoff 7 years ago from United States

How horrific! I will be checking my kids' browsing history tonight!


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi Tom,

thanks for cheering me up. I promise I won't quit before I reach my 100th hub.


Goodway profile image

Goodway 7 years ago from India

Good article How to safe side while using net


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi Goodway,

thanks for commenting.


Goodway profile image

Goodway 7 years ago from India

An IDEA :

An idea to restrict porn sites any many bad sites

And If you want  children safe side while browsing:

I recommend 2 you use OPENDNS

LINK: http://opendns.com


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi Goodway,

thanks for your suggestion. Will check this out.

regards.


SOniya 7 years ago

very beautifull hot picture i am so also thanks


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi SOniya,

Thanks for commenting.


Waren E profile image

Waren E 7 years ago from HAS LEFT THE BUILDING............

In a way, it's good that all those foolish boys recorded their actions,because it helped in bringing justice to the women who were assaulted!

I agree with all your suggestions,they are truly inspired, but some times you have to be sneaky or stealthy,you know, hire a computer security expert to get your kids passwords without them ever knowing,all your kids must know is that you are the all knowing master of their little universe their one and only dad,and don't forget to pray too!really get them thinking but still don't scatter the sheep by making them hate you!:D


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi Waren E,

Thanks for your kind comment.


Suiiki profile image

Suiiki 7 years ago from City of the Newly Wed and Nearly Dead

Asking for a password isn't always the best way to go...Whenever my mum asked for my myspace pass, I changed it within 24 hours. The best thing to do is to make sure your kids use private profiles, and only ask for their info if you suspect something is wrong. And when you do, check it immediately. Being on your kids' friends list helps, too, but if their friends aren't visiting and leaving comments on the profile, the probably have a secondary one somewhere, which is where they do their real communicating and share the naughty stuff. I never did anything bad online, but still, kids have a huge sense of privacy when they get past 14 or so.

I suggest having a family computer, or a computer "For the kids" which is set in a location in the home that gets a lot of traffic from other people. And make sure your kids aren't using proxies like https://www.snoopblocker.com We used snoopblocker in high school to get around content filters. It's best to have the major ones blocked from your computer, and check the history regularly. Click on random sites that your kids are browsing. Anyone can delete the history though, so if you think the kids are getting into something illegal, have a key logger installed...and don't tell the kids! But that should be a last resort, of course...if the kids AREN'T doing anything bad, the fact that you don't trust them can have negative consequences...


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 7 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi Suiiki,

Thanks for commenting.


tina 5 years ago

Something similar happened to my neice. She was drugged and raped while the teenage boys where video recording the whole thing. Now the video is being forward around her school. Me feeling helpless not being able to do nothing for because my mother is so ignorant on not believing her and not wanting to make a police report. Can someone advice me on how I can help her since she's not under my custody..


tina 5 years ago

Something similar happened to my neice. She was drugged and raped while the teenage boys where video recording the whole thing. Now the video is being forward around her school. Me feeling helpless not being able to do nothing for because my mother is so ignorant on not believing her and not wanting to make a police report. Can someone advice me on how I can help her since she's not under my custody..


Benson Yeung profile image

Benson Yeung 5 years ago from Hong Kong Author

Hi tina

sorry to hear about what happened. I think the police should be involved whether your neice or her mother likes it or not.

regards,

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