Bringing out the best in our Kids

We all want our kids to grow up to be well-grounded and successful in life. It is not an easy job bringing them up and here are a dozen tips to guide you along the way.

Listen - Listen to them, encourage them to talk to you about anything. Its not nice to hear that your child confides in someone else.

Basic Education - Make sure they have at least some basic education. You might even go a step further and ask what they did in school. Help explain their homework if they don’t understand it.

Millions of people in the UK can’t read or write.“5.2 million people lacking functional literacy skills and 6.8 million lacking functional numeracy skills” The Guardian Newspaper – 28 July 2008.

Positive comments - Say Positive things to them. “I know you are going to be a very successful person one day”. There are many positive things you can say meaningfully from your heart. It will always ring in their ears, even in years to come. Kids don’t need to hear “why are you so stupid, all your mates are doing well in school”. Sadly, it will also keep on ringing in their ears, even in years to come.

Quality Time - Your presence is more important than your presents. Spend quality time with them. This helps you bond with your kid. Some kids remember vividly some particular events in the family that happened when they were only 3 years old. Have fun with them and let them feel free with you. In my teens, I remember my dad used to lie down on the settee in the evenings after work and I would sit by him and sometimes platt his hair. It was a funny sight!

Good Example - Be a good example. Be a good role model. Kids do what you do and not what you say.

Discipline - “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. It doesn’t have to be physical. Unfortunately, in the UK, kids can call the police to report that their parents have hit them and sadly this could then lead to Social Services getting involved but there are other ways to discipline them. Maybe cutting down pocket money, grounding. You would know best.

Praise - Praise them on even the little things they do. A child draws a colourful picture for you. Sometimes you understand the picture, sometimes you can’t make out what is on the paper but all the same we tend to say how lovely it is and put it on our walls. The child’s so happy, he/she looks forward to painting another one – creativity is growing.

Encourage/Support - Encourage kids when they don’t do so well. In my teens, I failed an important exam and my parents were so nice to me. They encouraged me . My dad increased my pocket money. I used to look at them out of the corner of my eyes suspiciously. I knew they loved me but, hey, I just failed an exam. Long story short, I passed the Exam second time in flying colours and will always remember my parents attitude.

I love you - Tell them everyday or from time to time that you love them. Say it.

Show affection - Hug, cuddle, kiss, smile…. There are so many ways you can show affection. It doesn’t take a lot do this, but it means a lot.

Independence - Teach them how to cook (early teens) and give them house chores. This prepares them for when they leave home to go to university or other places. A lot of young ladies leave their parents home and go straight to their husbands home. Tell me, when will they learn to cook? It worries me when a mum is still doing the washing / ironing and tidying up of the room for her son/daughter who is in their 20s. (unless the child is not well)

Share/Impart your wisdom - Kids can read books or articles on the internet but nothing beats hearing it from you. Your stories, your experiences in life and how you dealt with them. (You might as well include “the birds and the bees” while your at it).

May your Kids do you proud.