Fun Games For Family Vacations

NOTHING BEATS A FAMILY VACATION

laughter, peace of mind, fun. But when was the last time you and the kids had a week like the one I just described?
laughter, peace of mind, fun. But when was the last time you and the kids had a week like the one I just described?
A lot has changed since this pretty girl posed on the family car. Time was the family car was used for work, errands and vacations.
A lot has changed since this pretty girl posed on the family car. Time was the family car was used for work, errands and vacations.
This is what can happen if you just "brave the highway," without  my games to pass the time.
This is what can happen if you just "brave the highway," without my games to pass the time.
All smiles. Now this would be the ultimate goal of all vacationers. But the kids are almost grown, so my games won't help this family much.
All smiles. Now this would be the ultimate goal of all vacationers. But the kids are almost grown, so my games won't help this family much.
Take a good look, vacationers. This is where most travelling vacationers go--on the freeway headed to somewhere distant on vacation. You will need my games for keeping down stress.
Take a good look, vacationers. This is where most travelling vacationers go--on the freeway headed to somewhere distant on vacation. You will need my games for keeping down stress.
The ideal family vacation? For a while. But after a few thousand miles, this family wil change from ideal to survival.
The ideal family vacation? For a while. But after a few thousand miles, this family wil change from ideal to survival.
What a woman! Smiling although her husband has wrecked their family car on vacation. She must be Wonder Woman.
What a woman! Smiling although her husband has wrecked their family car on vacation. She must be Wonder Woman.

The rare being, the All-American dad, proudly announces to his family, "vacation time, gang!" And with that cheery piece of news, the entire family is abuzz with excitement, anticipation and anxiety. The anxiety goes to the All-American dad and mom for they have been with the kids on several vacations in the car long before this one was announced.

They know how tough travelling with kids in the backseat can truly be. This, all sensitive parents, is not a knock on children, but a lovingly-honest look at the "real-life" scenes that take place when this All-American family of four hit the road, again, in hopes that "this" vacation will not be anywhere near last year's fiasco that is always brought up at the dining table every Thanksgiving. This dreaded-story is always good for a hearty laugh from the distant family members who are "living the life," and never have such a thing as a "disaster vacation."

To prove my point to the "family vacation newcomers," here is a list of things that produce aggravation for mom and dad while travelling down the picturesque interstates of America.

Odors coming from the back seat such as foot, dog, and passing of gas from over-active intestines.

Annoying tattle-tales, "he hit me, mom," "she won't stop looking at me," and "please tell junior to put his pants back on."

Confusion in locations such as restaurants that are not on the map and tourist attractions (live alligator farms) further down the road that your gas gauge says. NOTE: By the way, who in their right mind would pay huge prices to tour a place that features, "dead" gators?

Fists and feet continually hitting mom and dad's seat making the ride as comfortable as riding on a gravel road with a wagon and mule.

These are but a few of the things that can put mom and dad's nerves on end while driving to the family's vacation destination. And no, "I" didn't write the screenplay for Chevy Chase's "Vacation." That was the folks at National Lampoon.

But mom, dad, and kids with attention spans longer than one minute, I have the answer to those emotional, mental and physical draining vacation trips that always start out good, but soon hit a "slippery slope," causing another family ruckus.

There are some nifty over-the-road games you, mom and dad, can play to defuse the obvious stress caused by kids who are hungry, irritable, and sleepy. I'm not kidding. These games actually work.

Just peer through these "life-saving" games and pick out your favorite, and enjoy that upcoming, three-day's of driving to reach the tourist attraction to end all tourist attractions: "Uncle Marvin's Live Skeleton Show and Southwest Indian Magic Exhibition," located on the backside of Sante Fe, New Mexico. You will arrive happy, relaxed and ready to rock when you play these . . ."Vacation Games For Family Vacations."

COUNTING PHRASES (for mom and dad) compete with each other in counting how many times "junior" and "sissy," will scream, "hurry up, I can't stand him/her anymore!"

COUNTING COLORS of certain makes of cars. Say keep score of how many red Chevy Malibu's you meet heading to your vacation destination. Be careful. Do not let the drivers of these Chevy's see you pointing at them for they may belong to a violent gang who despise tourists.

SING SONGS like "My Sharona," by the Knack; "Rock Around The Clock, by Bill Haley and the Comets or "Row, Row, Row Your Boat," by God knows who. These songs are purposely-written to pester any troublemaking kid in any backseat on any vacation. And can be used as leverage. "Dad, mom, please stop singing those awful songs," bellows "junior." "Sure, buddy, but you promise to go to sleep for at least four hours. Deal?" You will be surprised at how quick "junior" screams "deal!" Then you and your wife can smile at other in a sly manner.

"ONE BROWN COW" is a simple game that requires the contestants to say, "one brown cow," and then wait for the other contestants to see a brown cow and say, "two brown cow," and so on. This game is very habit-forming for kids from seven to twelve. Tell your kids that this game is only for them (giving you and your wife a rest) and you will give the winner five-dollars. What great fun the kids will have with this game.

HISTORY EXPLORER is an educational game, but fun too. You, dad, be the host of this automotive vacation game. You ask a simple history question and the kid who gets it right has to do an impression of the person or persons who were alive in that era. What laughs you will get with this game and maybe junior will finally learn that Columbus discovered Americas in 1492, not the R&B group, the Ohio Players.

NAME THAT CELEBRITY needs no explanation. Anyone in the car can say a famous celebrity from television, screen or radio and the first one who names the celebrity gets to take a nap. Dad, if you are wise enough, you may let your wife do the driving and you can name a celebrity and nap like your cat, "Johnny Three Shoes," back at home.

INSECT CITY is for the rambunctious kids at heart. See how many flies, gnats and wasps hit the windshield of the car. This game can also sharpen the kids' math skills. Sorry, no birds hitting the windshield allowed.

TRAVELLING NEIGHBOR takes little or no skill at all. But dad has to turn off the air condioner in the car. This game is for the tough kids in America. While going down America's highways and byways, when your kids spot a farmer plowing his fields, have them yell, "Hey, Mr. Farmer, thanks for your food!" Or if they see a car thief stealing a car have them yell even louder, "Police! Police, help! Car thief at work," and the children will make the farmer feel good about working in a dusty, hot field of pepper and help the police capture, "Lugs" Mallone, wanted car thief.

FINISH MY JOKE requires a sharp mind. And only for kids ages 16 and up. This game is perfect for RV's, camper's, and stationwagons. Have someone tell all of a joke except the punchline and then point to a person who has to finish the joke and in a funny way. You will get laughs by the boat load with this game. Sorry, no "men-only" girlie jokes can be told.

GUESS DAD'S M.P.H. is easy. And fantastic fun. But this game is only for the kids. Have mom use her watch and count down every 10 minutes then call on junior to correctly guess how fast dad is driving. If junior is right, he has to not talk for the next 20 miles. If junior is wrong, he has to not talk for the remainder of the trip. Same rules apply to sissy.

Hey, American vacationers, put back the fun into your yearly family outings. Play these games one time and you will swear that you have fell asleep and woke up in "dream land," for the fun, laughter and peace of mind you are experiencing.

If these games do not work, as a last resort, tell the annoying kids that there is a big, green monster hiding underneath their seats and with one tap of your fist on the dashboard, "Mr. Hungry," will appear and do what he does best: eat everything and everyone in sight.

Mom and dad, there has to be an unemployed uncle somewhere in your families who will be willing to play "Mr. Hungry," in a green costume for a nominal fee. Say $100.00.

Might be a wise investment.

THESE LITTLE GUYS MAY BE CUTE

but ride with them 1200 miles down an interstate somewhere in Kansas in July. Then tell me if they are cute.
but ride with them 1200 miles down an interstate somewhere in Kansas in July. Then tell me if they are cute.

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Comments 10 comments

CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC

GREAT ideas for kids in the car! I am most definately going to be using some of these for our trip from NC to SD this summer :) When I was little we would do the License Plate game, trying to find as many different states as possible. I don't think we've EVER found all 50 states LOL Voted up and Shared :)


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Funny, but some great ideas! As an Air Force brat we travelled a lot and my mom came up with some fun things to do to keep us busy! These are great!


Sueswan 4 years ago

Dearest Kenneth,

Very funny my friend. What fun and creative ways to keep kids occupied on those family vacations. :)

Voted up across the board.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Cassy! Thanks for your nice comment. But I would do all I could to use the other games BEFORE I called on "Mr. Hungry," to do his thing. My grandkids, 11, 8 and 5, would come more apt to love "Mr. Hungry," than be scared of him. But what would we do without kids or grandkids?

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

catgypsy . . ."Thank you kindly, for your warm comments." "I bet you got to see a lot of our country when you were a child. I only saw the Memphis Zoo at Overland Park and Shiloh Battleground . . .nice places, but hot and smelly in the hot temps of July." But still, good memories.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Susan, and I appreciate YOUR comments and votes. Both very-cherished. Amazing how parents can be such inventors while under pressure, LOL.

Thanks again!

Kenneth


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Kenneth! This is awesome!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, rahul,

Thank you, good friend. That means a lot to me.

Have a peaceful day.

Kenneth


unknown spy profile image

unknown spy 4 years ago from Neverland - where children never grow up.

twins?

you have a very creative ways for fun Kenneth!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear unknown spy,

Thank you, dear friend, for your super-nice comment. Its friends like you who make HubPages MY favorite place to be.

Kenneth

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