Lament - Advice for my children

Is there no regret without prior desire that can only be described as a wish to have been someone else? To wonder why is to wonder about why you were born to begin with. The decisions you made were made with uninformed enthusiasm and without it you could not decide otherwise. Regret becomes a lament when the measured depth of the tears drown the honesty that has now become who you are. You have become cruel in your rejection of your past; you have rejected everyone you encountered; everyone you ever loved; everything you ever did. You were unable to see what you now know. You lie in your bed and cry because you can feel the moment. You see yourself making the same decision over and over again. It never changes. You wonder how could you have done that but what you cannot remember is how you felt then. You only know how you feel now. But what about now? Is today’s enthusiasm as misguided as yesterdays? Can you trust what it compels you to do? You made your mistakes. Is it time for another? How can you know? In what way can you be who you are not so that you do not act as you are? Your weakness is larger than your life. You can be someone else but only as long as you can hold your breath. Maybe what you want to be is not meant for you. Do you have a destiny that you must accept? Everyone suffers. You are not alone is this regard. There are very few people who can tell you what they are thinking; who can draw what they see; who can play what they hear. Regret is the child of fate. Your fate was determined by the power in your life. Your nature is powerful as is the nature of those you choose to believe. The nature you married to your own has a child: Lament…

I tell you this so that you know one day you will look back and wonder why you didn't do things differently. The key to finding your genius is to find the genius of enthusiasm. And once you do then you will become powerful in controlling your fate. Your fate is governed by your own nature to the extent that you can control events impacting your life. But until you find your gift for enthusiasm then you will be living a life that you will one day regret.

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Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

This is excellent food for thought, Mark. Being one's own person & accepting responsibility for it; and, - as you say, embracing life with enthusiasm - good advice.

Here's another bit of advice I've heard from one of my longest-ever online friends:

American Proverb: "Love many, trust few and always paddle your own canoe."


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

Very astute observations.

There is a quote I've heard; unfortunately, I cannot find the source of who said it, but the gist of it goes like this:

"To dream of the person you wish you were is to waste the person you are."

I believe that is what you've captured here with your beautiful word painting.

Voted up, awesome and beautiful.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 4 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Nellieanna - Thank you again! It's weird... I was thinking about my former mother in law who passed away this past summer. I was married to her daughter from 1987 - 1990. Jo (the mother in law) and I were very close. I don't know why I thought of her today but I started to think about how nice and welcoming she was to me when I picked up her daughter at their house for our first date. There are so many things in our past, good and bad and then for some reason these words started up in my mind. As usual you have such insightful comments to me. I value your wisdom.

@DzyMsLizzy - Thank you. That is a great quote. It is so true. You have to work with your own gifts somehow and enhance them. You can't be the best at everything so why not be the best at what you are best at... you need to be happy for people and be willing to learn from them. I appreciate your comment very much.


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 4 years ago from TEXAS

Yes - our experiences shape our views and our views shape our actions. Kindnesses from others are the sort of experiences which can shape our clearest insights and inspire our noblest actions. Jo sounds like a wonderful person in your life.

To me, the role of a father is among the most special and precious a human being experiences. I perceive you are an excellent father to your children. Fortunately parenting doesn't depend on the individual's being perfect. The spirit inside is what most matters. Your hub here shows such good spirit.

That quote from DzyMsLizzy is excellent. It proclaims a principle I hold dear, and that is that what IS is always preferable to what is NOT. Who one is, yes! The day one has, yes! The life one has, yes!


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 4 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Nellianna - Jo was a wonderful person. So was her husband Cecil. They were so giving. They were devout Christians and they walked the walk. Cecil was so humble and he'd come to your aid in the middle of the night in a downpour to help. He was just that kind of person. They were devastated when we divorced. Cecil cried and apologized to me for his daughter. Again, that was the kind of man he was. It was very sad. And here I am 30 years later thinking of them because I am realizing how unique they were and how hard it is to find people like that. The Coda is that Trudi (the ex) and I have made our peace and are happy for each other. I try to be a good father. My role is to be supportive and I am. They know I love them and they have my constant and unwavering approval.


Joanie 4 years ago

Divorce is sad. But, part of the worst of it is losing the whole family as you did Cecil and Jo. But, at least you knew them and they are among the good people you have met. Sometimes those are far and few between.


The Suburban Poet profile image

The Suburban Poet 4 years ago from Austin, Texas Author

@Joanie - yes it is but sometimes it has to happen. They were great examples of good people for sure.

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