Dealing with depression in teenage boys. Poetry: Oh Lord, why can't I Die?

Coping with teenage depression

teenage depression a serious problem
teenage depression a serious problem | Source

Lost somewhere in time,

a young man finds no place to fit into an unforgiving world of cruelty and hatred.

We are all truly alone in our own minds, bodies, and thoughts.

Coping with this solitude is one of the greatest challenges in the life of a teenage boy.

No child should suffer this kind of isolation alone. The dilemma of trying to reconcile religious teachings with logic can be overwhelming for teenagers, both boys and girls alike.

Parents tend to ignore this problem in their teenage children and write it off as just a part of growing up. This is not ''normal'' behavior for any teenager and should be addressed openly and candidly.

Unfortunately, most of the time it is ignored and the teenager is left to deal with this sadness and depression on their own.

This is from my second book of poems, first Poem. Written at age 15.

Lost to the Night. After the Rain

Source
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
after the rain
the full moon after the rain
the full moon after the rain

Sadness and depression in a teenage boy

I Remember the night i wrote this poem.

It was starting to get dark.

The sky was over cast. It was raining heavily, thunder rumbling overhead, lightning flashing across the sky, and briefly lighting up the clouds.

It was spectacular.

I sat alone by the window starring into the storm, and feeling like i was totally alone in this world.

And in fact. I was.

We all are alone with our own thoughts, in our own minds, in our own private little worlds, and no-one is allowed entrance into this inner sanctum of the soul.

No matter how hard we try to connect to another person, we are always still alone within ourselves.

An epiphany for a 15 year old recluse.

LOST

  • The night is long, the hour is late,
  • and a heart is growing weary.
  • 'Tis misting, and the moonlight grows dim,
  • and the night is turning dreary.
  • A heart alone, midst the fog of night,
  • is sad and hopelessly crying;
  • and within a soul, where desperation strikes,
  • and a meaningless void is lying,
  • A silent voice within a mind,
  • so destitute does it cry
  • Beseeching God and all that's well, with -
  • Oh, lord, why can't i die?

by d.william 05/29/2011

Islands in the Stream

© 2011 d.william

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Comments 23 comments

always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

This makes me so sad. I have tears filling my eyes. You must have been so lonely. Hank Sr. was a great song writer. I read his life story, so sad. Thank you for sharing.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/profile/always+exploring.

Thank you for reading and your kind words. That was many years ago, and i am just looking at all those poems that i have not looked at in over 50 years. Time to put it all to rest. I will publish some of them if it is not too difficult to process in my head. I am at a time in my life when i am content and at peace with myself, and harbor no negative feelings for anyone. We make our own choices in life, and those choices have been quite rewarding over the years. I have few regrets and can look forward to the next half of my life time with anticipation, hope and peace in my heart.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

I am so glad. God bless you.


neeleshkulkarni profile image

neeleshkulkarni 5 years ago from new delhi

go ahead and publish them friend. it will effect the closure that ur succesfully escaping form that trap needs.i am sure life ahead is going to be magnificent.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/profile/neeleshkulkarni.

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and for taking the time to read my poetry.


mckbirdbks profile image

mckbirdbks 5 years ago from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas

You must be in possession an old soul, to write such a piece as this at such a young age.


theirishobserver. profile image

theirishobserver. 5 years ago from Ireland

Great poem, I write a little poetry myself, Hank Williams, wow, the man, great hub great work....Irish


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 5 years ago from South Africa

Deep-deep thoughts for a 15 yr old. Though I had them too at that age... and still have them. I wish you all of the best success with your books.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/profile/mckbirdbks.

Thanks for your comments. I have always felt i had been here before. Ireland has always fascinated me and i feel a deep connection there. I do believe i have been here many times. Obviously haven't learned much to keep coming back. LOL.

One of my favorite quotes: "We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience" (author unknown).


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/@irishobserver

Well i am thrilled that you visited my hub pages. Thank you for your kind words. Nice comment coming from such an accomplished writer as yourself. dw


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 5 years ago from New Jersey

You remind me of the intensity of emotions we feel at that age. You must have been very upset by life. My parents were big country music fans, so I didn't play the music, because I knew I would cry. Very good poem from one so young! In my Metaphysics class, all the material begins with the quote about being spiritual beings going through a human experience. Bless you.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

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Thank you so much for reading and commenting.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/profile/Jean+Bakula.

Thank you so much for reading and commenting. It was probably from you that i heard that quote. I just could not remember where it came from Thank you for planting that in my head. It is profound.

I can't say i was upset with life itself. I was in quite a quandary from age 6 (which seems to be as far back as my memory takes me). I remember being in the womb, being born, and bits and pieces from then til age 6, then the real memories began. Anyway, from the age of 6 my quandary was that i knew i was not like other children, and could not understand why. Back in those days there was no one to discuss such things with. Some subjects were just taboo and were never discussed. It wasn't until i reached the age of 21 that i discovered that i was not alone in this world. There were millions just like me. It was an awakening of such profundity i am at a loss for words to describe it in detail. Even to this day, i still can not understand how the world can attempt to ignore, isolate, and loathe, such a huge part of God's creations, and have the audacity to say their hate comes from God himself. What fools mortals are. This kind of ignorance still amazes me today. No child should have to go through the mental torture, and degradation that so many of us have endured at the hands of other 'uneducated' people. It has taken me many years to realize that it is they who need to prayed for, not we who are merely a part of God's creations that they do not have the capacity to understand. God does not make mistakes. Today, in my old age, i am proud of the life that God gave me, and spent much of it giving peace and comfort to the ill, as a nurse, for many, many years.


Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

You continue to give comfort d.william to the emotionally and spiritually wounded and that is only right and fitting for someone who has tended the physical wounds of people all his life.

I am particularly intrigued by the last line of the poem which seems so deep coming from a young boy who seems to understand the illusion and seek the demise of the ego. Is this so ?

Anyway this is a compelling read and ends with a well chosen song - a great blast from the past. Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life and I hope this encourages you to continue to do so.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/profile/Spirit+Whisperer.

Thanks for reading and commenting. Although, it is true that i was mentally beyond my years, it still does not negate the pain of loneliness, and sense of being forsaken and lost in a world that has no concept of, or appreciation for, the differences between people, and frankly who do not care about anything but themselves. Especially when there is no one to confide in that can be trusted to accept and not judge, or condemn. I truly did not want to be on this planet, or contend with the pain i knew would be forthcoming in my lifetime. But, knowing that all life has a purpose unto itself, this gave some comfort and courage to face that future of such uncertainty.

Even at my age of enlightenment (6 years old) i was aware of Karma and my need to live this lifetime. Although i did not know why.

My next poem will explain more.


Spirit Whisperer profile image

Spirit Whisperer 5 years ago from Isle of Man

Can't wait!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

me either!!!


Dim Flaxenwick profile image

Dim Flaxenwick 5 years ago from Great Britain

At 15 l also found solace in writing poetry . l think it is an age of solitude that some grow out of more than others.

Beautiful. Thank you.

Good to hear old Hank again too.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/profile/Dim+Flaxenwick.

thanks for reading. I guess i was one of the slower ones to outgrow the feelings of solitude.

Although, today i relish the solitude of my retirement years so i guess i never truly out grew it after all. The difference being that now it is with pleasure, and not sadness.


Druid Dude profile image

Druid Dude 5 years ago from West Coast

It's good that you kept them. I'm somewhere around your age. I don't think that the solitude feeling ever leaves. We are all islands surrounded by other islands.


d.william profile image

d.william 5 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

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Thanks. And you are again correct with your comments: that we are all islands unto ourselves. Which is a good thing - for many obvious reasons.


htodd profile image

htodd 4 years ago from United States

Nice ...I think you really enjoyed writing that


d.william profile image

d.william 4 years ago from Somewhere in the south Author

http://hubpages.com/@htodd

Thanks for reading and taking time to leave a comment. Actually during that time of my life, i was contemplating suicide, so i really did not enjoy writing those words.

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