Remember this My Son...

Different language

The end of another day........... (sigh)

Time to reflect.. What was that all about, I ask myself... another typical day with my fifteen year old son. Yes I know it is a difficult time for him... hormones flying, no longer a child but not yet a man... but come on!

Why is everything so difficult with children of this age?

They speak in a totally different language, one I would associate with the animal world, grunts and moans...

Please tidy your room ;Reply, ‘ huuhhhmhmm’

Are you hungry? Reply; naaaaaahh

What does that mean.... all vocals are from the back of the throat, with the lips sealed shut!

And everything is in a minute.

Hang your clothes up -............ In a minute.

 Put your cup in the sink-.... in a minute..

You need to go to sleep now, school in the morning........... In a minute.....

The bus is coming.....In a minute....TOO LATE, YOU MISSED IT!!

Well, at that age they do seem to have all the time in the world.

And the temper tantrums, terrible twos have has nothing on terrifying teenagers.

Angry

They don’t seem to be able to communicate unless the voice is raised, the brow is creased and the fists are clenched.

Why? When there is no-one else in the house. Not an indication of aggression anywhere, and all of a sudden ‘Whooooooosh’ it’s World War 94.

Topic of argument..... the usual, tidying bedroom, sleep time, having a shower...that’s another thing, it’s not as though we live in the Sahara Dessert, there’s plenty of hot water and soap, why don’t they like using them.

Is it cool to smell and look dirty?

But joking aside, the one thing that concerns and saddens me the most is the total lack of respect that many teenagers seem to have. My son included most of the time. I am not saying that all teenagers behave in the same way; the differences can be experienced in many families where all the children have been raised in the same way, with a loving mother and father. All taught morals and family values and above all taught to respect everyone as an equal.

One can have high moral values, be kind and gentle mannered.

Another more volatile, very bright, quick thinking and outspoken

And yet another so different, can be sullen, rude, loud aggressive. Why is this? Many would blame the home environment, but how can that be when all were raised in exactly the same way...

Many teenagers seem to walk around assuming that their parents are in a fight with them. They have a huge chip on their shoulder that they are waiting to have knocked off, so when their parents do not agree with them they are only too willing to have a go, because mum or dad ‘started it ‘But did you know that People who fight with each other still care what the other person thinks, the time to worry is when everyone has given up and is no longer communicating.

Unfortunately many do not realise their mistakes until later, sometimes too late.

Things can get so bad that all contact between the teenager and parents are severed... these instances are really heartbreaking.

 I feel that what as parents we must remember is, there are more influences on a child’s life than his or her parents, and we inevitably always hurt the ones we are closest to. 

No Charge.....

So what I’m really saying to all those angry teenagers out there, is think before you speak, before you raise your voice in anger, before you throw insults to the rooftops, before the hurt and the tears become too much to bare. You may see your parents as your sworn enemy but if you are still arguing with them, it is because you still care, you still love each other, and it is not too late to repair what damage has been caused.

I would like to share with you the lyrics of a song....

NO CHARGE...........

"Respect, admiration and trust equals love." Hal Hartley

Now our little boy came up to his mom
In the kitchen this evenin' while she was fixin' supper
And he handed her a piece of paper he'd been writin' on
And after wipin' her hands on her apron
She read it, and this is what it said.

For mowin' the lawn, five dollars
For makin' my own bed this week, one dollar
And for goin' to the store, fifty cents
An' playin' with little brother while you went shoppin', twenty-five cents.

Takin' out the trash, one dollar
Gettin' a good report card, five dollars
And for rakin' the yard, two dollars
Total owed, fourteen seventy-five.

Well, as mom looked at him standin' there expectantly
And I could see the mem'ries flashing through her mind
And so she picked up the pen, and turnin' the paper over
This is what she wrote.

For the nine months I carried you growing inside me, no charge
For the nights I've sat up with you
Doctored you, and prayed for you, no charge
For the time and the tears
That you've cost through the years, there's no charge
And when you add it all up
The full cost of my love is no charge.

For the nights filled with dread
and all the worries ahead, no charge
For advice and the knowledge
And the cost of your college, no charge
For the toys, food and clothes and even for wipin' your nose
There's no charge, son
And when you add it all up
The full cost of my love is, no charge.

Well, when he finished readin'
He had great big old tears in his eyes
And he looked up at her standing there and said
Mama, I sure do love you
Then he took the pen,
And in great big letters
He wrotePAID IN FULL.

Lord knows when you add it all up
The cost of real love is, no charge...

the cost of real love...

From Me to you My SON...

So that next time you are feeling angry ..... remember these words.

Memories of another time still come
To me and fill my mind, with thoughts
Of you when you were young. I lie awake
‘Till the morning sun comes creeping
Through my window shade, as I dwell upon
Mistakes I've made. What I would give to
Go back in time and feel you’re little
Hand in mine. To cherish each fast and
Fleeting day. To hold you close and kiss
Away, each pain that life will have in
Store and try to give you so much more.
You are part and will always be, imbedded in the soul of me. While I'm
Here, I want to say, that I've loved you
Each and every day and when my time on
Earth is gone. The privilege was mine to have been your Mom.

Paula Stone

A borrowed tribute to my dearest sons ....

Comments 12 comments

Freya Cesare profile image

Freya Cesare 6 years ago from Borneo Island, Indonesia

Sallam, my wise dearest sister. So, this is the reason why suddenly that song came out and called me the other day through your tag? Hahaha...

I might way too young to have teenage under my custody, but trust me I have full experience with them, since I have take a part in my family as another "Mom" for my youngest sister and brother (because mom too busy with her work), and trust me, what you have been experience lately with your son, I guess my sister can be more worst than him; and yes, she showed similar symptom too. And those raging hormones: oh no! That scariest thing we have to face right at this moment, when it is about her time to move out from the house and going to university.

You might want to hear some suggestion, but I don't have one, Sis Only more problems to add. Hehehe...

You are wise mother. You will manage and win this. I believe so! ^_^ Good luck, dear, and don't forget to teach me your tricks to win your son if you win later, because I might need many in the future.

Have a nice day, Sis. Love you.

Wassalam.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

thanks for share with us. very well written. good work.


muslima61 profile image

muslima61 6 years ago from manchester UK Author

Thank you Prasetio30 :)


muslima61 profile image

muslima61 6 years ago from manchester UK Author

to my sister... all i can say is never stop loving them, even when they drive you wild, no matter what... love them always :)x x


wahfakher 6 years ago

beautiful baby


muslima61 profile image

muslima61 6 years ago from manchester UK Author

@ wahfakher.... yesssssss, as are all babies the creations of Allah (swt) ....... :)


saddlerider1 profile image

saddlerider1 6 years ago

What a wonderful informative and loving, caring hub. I have been awarded custody of my 16 yr old son. He does all those things you mention above and I fully understand the hormones running wild within.

He is also experimenting with marijuana and I also understand that to. I have done the same at his age. 90% of teens in schools are experimenting. No matter how much we think we can stop a teen from trying something. WE CAN"T we can only encourage moderation and being careful and safe.

We are not following them around 24/7 they are the keepers of their own souls. However the BIG bonus I have from him is respect. That he has for me and shows it and listens and is home on time and that is very important to me. I teach him things I know and have learned in my years, he listens intently. So as parents just keep saying how much you care and LOVE your child. Tell them every day and they will love you back. But don't belittle them or show anger all the time, they will turn and go their own way. Thanks for the share.


muslima61 profile image

muslima61 6 years ago from manchester UK Author

@saddlerider1... thank you so much for the wonderful comments and the extremely good advise, i have been there. I have 3 sons, and learned the hard way that no matter what happens, no matter what they say or do... you can never stop loving them... i lost my middle son for a while, but I thank God that although through circumstances beyond our control, he is not with us in body... our love is closer and deeper than ever, and to be honest at the end of the day, that is all that matters.


noorenaz profile image

noorenaz 6 years ago from MAURITUS

thank you for sharing, i have a daughter she is 12 yrs old, and somehow its a bit same.. still i have a long way to go to bring her up, ALLAH Bless us all with patience.. AMEEN.


muslima61 profile image

muslima61 6 years ago from manchester UK Author

Ameen my sister, may Allah bless us always with patience and most importantly with love. Keep these always close and we cannot go wrong. inshallah. :)


Trsmd profile image

Trsmd 5 years ago from India

your words were inspired from this site?

http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/mother-poe...


muslima61 profile image

muslima61 5 years ago from manchester UK Author

@ Trsmd.. no i just clicked on your link , it is a lovely site.. but my words were inspired by the fact that i have raised 3 wonderful sons.. who have all passed through this stage of life...

Although the poem at the end is very old and is a very well known piece of work it is not mine, but it does illustrate the way i feel about my dear sons...

THE message i am relaying here is not just that i am a mother but no matter what trials and tribulations come my way by cause of my sons i Love them... and always will no matter what..

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