The Painful Task of Disciplining Children

Diligent parents have disciplined obedient children
Diligent parents have disciplined obedient children

Children do not enjoy a good reputation. They are most often judged as a whole, and not as individuals. When a small group of adults enter an establishment, say a restaurant or department store, it is practically un-noticed. However, when little people enter the same aforementioned places, people are keenly aware of their presence. Sometimes a slight groan can be detected as the kids enter the room. Those passing judgment adjudicate from their past experiences of rowdy children. Any parent who has gone to dinner with kids can anticipate the family's seating arrangement. The hostess will place you as far back in the restaurant as possible, frequently across from the restrooms. All children are not unruly and un-disciplined. Those who are not, suffer the reputation of those who are. How unfair!

Children come into the world screaming. This is natural. It is however, un-natural if a child never learns the discipline of self control. At a young age a child must be gently taught that the world does not revolve around him/her. When a child is disorderly it is the fault of his oblivious parents. Should a child disobey in a restaurant disrupting other patrons it is acceptable, yes even expected, that the parent remove the child momentarily. The child should be told that people in the establishment did not come there to enjoy his tantrum. Upon the return of a more quiet spirit the parent may return with the child to the table. The food on your plate may be cold, but the child learns a valuable lesson. It is not all about me. Consistency is discipline’s partner. Be forewarned: If you do not discipline your child at home, forget putting your foot down in a restaurant. Expect the same good behavior regardless of whether the child is at home, school or in a fancy, grown up, establishment. Diligent parents will discover the pleasure of having their children with them in the most unlikely, and sometimes non kid-friendly places. Diligent parents have disciplined obedient children.

A child will strive to behave when positive re-enforcement is applied. A parent should definitely reward a child for good behavior. It is just as imperative to choose consequences that will negatively impact your children for positive results. Then stick to it. If your child is told to clean his room or there will be no trip to the park, then follow through. In addition, stop counting aloud in hopes that your child will obey by three, five or whatever the magic number happens to be. Besides being annoying, it teaches the youngster that obedience need not be swift. If you are a controlled individual and can responsibly spank your child, an occasional swat on the bottom, though out of vogue, is not out of order. This depends on your child, and your self control. If you only spank when angry, and not for the good of the child then don’t spank. The old adage "a spanking really hurts the parent more than it hurts the child", should be true. No parent should relish in spanking his/her child. Also, in regards to spanking, there is an age at which it is no longer an option.

Yesterday's progeny was plagued by the statement, “children are to be seen and not heard”. Back then parents ruled with an iron hand, and silliness was not high on their priority list. I do not advocate a return to the rigidness of the old days. On the other hand, the pendulum has swung way too wide. Children are being caressed into believing they are entitled, unrestricted. Young people are becoming their own authority. The present generation reserves the right to disrespect whom they choose. Teachers, police officers, not even the elderly lady down the street, are to challenge them on anything. Parents who preach entitlement to their children do them a disservice. We all have to answer to someone at some point in our lives. It is a fact which might as well be learned young.

Listen, kids are fantastic! They just can not raise themselves. Food, clothing, shelter, and education are not enough. Discipline is mandatory. If you love your child, do what is difficult. Teach and demand good behavior. It will merely serve him well. Don’t allow your child to tarnish the reputation of more disciplined children.

"Let the little children come to me, and do not prevent them. For such is the kingdom of God."(Matthew 19:14)

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Comments 14 comments

Melody Lagrimas profile image

Melody Lagrimas 7 years ago from Philippines

You have expressed it well. Children need guidance and they need to learn discipline the godly way. Nice hub.


Philipo profile image

Philipo 7 years ago from Nigeria

Wao. This is a nice hub. Children are gifts from God. We should learn to treat them as such. I love children and find it difficult to discipline them, though I advice them as much as I can.


R Burow profile image

R Burow 7 years ago from Florida, United States Author

Melody,

How very nice to hear from you. Thank you for your kind comments.

Philipo,

Just for clarification, I discipline my OWN children ONLY.

You are correct about it being difficult. It is difficult but it is the loving thing to do.


Marie Dwivkidz profile image

Marie Dwivkidz 7 years ago from UK

This is an interesting take on an important topic. Disciplining children is controversial, but so vital. I do not spank my children - not particularly because I disapprove of the principlebut because I have found that the urge to spank them is most likely to come at at time I am least in control, and therefore is likely to be ineffective - the classic over reaction to the 'final straw'.


R Burow profile image

R Burow 7 years ago from Florida, United States Author

Marie,

Thanks for your comments. I agree with you. Control is the ultimate question when considering to spank or not to spank. It is also true that for some children a second method is best. I appreciate your dropping in.


Kimberly Bunch profile image

Kimberly Bunch 7 years ago from EAST WENATCHEE

Great Hub! Here's a bit of extra info: http://hubpages.com/hub/mommyboredomtips


R Burow profile image

R Burow 7 years ago from Florida, United States Author

Kimberly,

Thanks so much for giving my hub a read and leaving a comment. I will check out your link. Thank!


NZUNG SERAPHINE profile image

NZUNG SERAPHINE 7 years ago

Another great hub.parents need to understand this ,if you discipline your children in the proper way ,you will always be proud of them.


R Burow profile image

R Burow 7 years ago from Florida, United States Author

Nzung,

Thanks for stopping by and agreeing with me:) I appreciate your taking the time to read my hub.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 7 years ago

R Burow,

Wonderful hub! Great advice!

I agree Expect good behavior when your children are away from home as well...

It is painful disciplining your children when you love them. Yet, It is necessary in order to help them develop good healthy boundaries. Healthy boundaries help them feel safe, loved and secure. They will then grow up to be loving, caring, responsible well balanced adults as well. When disciplining a child it should be age appropriate.

There are creative constructive healthy ways to discipline a child with only a minimal of spanking... Please DO NOT

spank when you are angry!

Keep up the good work!

Blessings


R Burow profile image

R Burow 7 years ago from Florida, United States Author

DeBorrah,

Always nice to have you weigh in. Thank you for the good words and encouragement.

Blessings right back.


R Burow profile image

R Burow 7 years ago from Florida, United States Author

DeBorrah,

Always nice to have you weigh in. Thank you for the good words and encouragement.

Blessings right back.


Kenny MG profile image

Kenny MG 7 years ago from A Child of the Universe

Godly discipline works the best, every society have their way and sociologist have another. They must come together for the sake of the children or society will continue to suffer from a lack of effective discipline. It must first start in the home, and it is because mom and dad are too busy or care less that brings us to the present state of affairs.


R Burow 7 years ago

Kenny MG,

I appreciate your stopping by for a view of this hub. Appreciated also are your added comments. The good news is; there are a lot of well behaved children still out there. Can't help believe these are the ones who received discipline. The correct type of discipline can only be a good thing. Emphasis on the word 'correct'. So there is still hope for the 'present state of affairs'.

Thanks again.

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