14 Sure-Fire Ways to Know if Your Favorite Restaurant is Clean or Filthy?

I'm at it again. Straining every nerve of my being to educate people who love to dine in fine restaurants without fear of contracting some rare medical disease that was hiding in the chicken legs. Yes, in this day and time, nothing shocks me when it comes to how "some" restaurant owners and managers allow their eateries to be the subject of pieces like this one.

I shouldn't be doing this. I had much rather be designing one of my special birdhouses that people will buy, or even enjoying a black and white classic film (e.g. "White Heat," James Cagney). while sipping a cup of fresh black coffee which by the way, I know is okay due to my wife and myself checking my coffeemaker for possible problems.

It is easy for you to detect that a restaurant is filthy by the first step you take inside. At least the women readers are this sensitive. Men are just happy to get something to eat. No, guys, I am not knocking "us," it's just in our genes to seek and devour food. It's almost like our duty to do this while on earth, but that's another hub idea for later.

Even my hub headline is simple.

14 Sure-Fire Ways to Know if Your Favorite Restaurant is Clean or Filthy

Discerning diners need to know.

1. Is your area Health Inspector always sitting at a table near you jotting down things on his tablet? If he is on duty, then you can "bet the farm" that your restaurant has cleanliness issues.
2. Do you see the waiters taking orders from the huge roaches (dressed in fine clothing) sitting at tables?
3. You find out that the "awful" aroma that has made you nauseated, was from food being left out too long and is now served as fresh food items.
4. Did you get terrorized that one time when "LeRoy," the head chef visited your table to see if the steaks were done and he picked your steak up with his filthy hands, rolled it around a few times, then took a bite of it, then said, "Yes, ma'am. This is fresh meat."
5. Do you find it a challenge to get to your table trying to not fall over silverware, plates, and cups that are in the floor?
6. When your waitress escorts you to your favorite table, but this time you see dirty plates, glasses still on the table? No sweat, she laughs. Then proceeds to wipe each article with the tail of her blouse.
7. Are there several photos on the wall with a banner overhead stating: "Biggest Rodents Ever Killed On This Restaurant's Premises?"
8. Have you noticed that some customers' children have their pet dogs or cats with them at the table and these are not "service animals?"
9. Have you ever noticed a Health Rating Score sheet in plain sight in your favorite restaurant?
10. When you asked the restaurant owner, "Herbert," a good friend of yours, "where is your Health Rating Score sheet?" and with a look of being stunned he said, "Huh? What's that?" And was not joking.
11. Do you and your spouse sometimes have to go get a broom and sweep the area around and underneath your table? One time you were happy that you did the sweeping for you found a 20-dollar bill. But not those last ten times you swept.
12. One night your meticulous husband who demands cleanliness everywhere he goes, asked the waiter, "would you please bring me a sample of the water in the kitchen that you use to wash the dishes?" The waiter was obedient. He brought your husband a glass of black something or other and said, "sir, this is that water sample you requested." "that looks like motor oil," snapped your husband. "no, it is not really motor oil, but we wash the dishes with it and use it in our vehicles," the proud waiter says.
13. Do the area panhandlers, bums never try to get a hand-out at your favorite restaurant for one time you heard that "Butch," a bum you were friends with, passed away from the fish the chef gave him not from the dumpster, but from the kitchen.
14. Which reminds me. Are there a lot of deceased cats, dogs, and gophers lying in the alleyway behind your favorite restaurant?

My closing remarks: "Help keep America healthy. Only eat in clean restaurants and use "this" hub as your guide to know the difference."