Interview with the First Lady

New 666 iPhone
New 666 iPhone | Source

Interview with the First Lady

You already know that my ingenious supernatural helmet allows me to speak with the dearly departed wherever they are. But now my ability to interview celebrities, dead or alive, has been enhanced.

Courtesy of my brand new one-of-a-kind iPhone, model #666, I can receive phone calls at all hours of the day or night from said subjects wanting to talk about themselves. And you know I am always willing to listen.

Here is my most recent phone call recorded verbatim:

[My phone rings]

me – Hello, who’s calling, please?

Voice – This is the First Lady.

me – [astonished] The First Lady? What a pleasant surprise! I am honored and delighted to hear from you. How are you, ma’am?

First Lady – Just fine, thank you for asking. I would like to get your marketing advice about something very close to my heart.

me – Which is . . .

First Lady – Healthy foods and healthy eating. How can I reach more people everywhere with my message?

me – My first thought would be to personalize it as much as possible with your own experience.

I am aware of your interest in teaching children healthy eating habits. Has this always been a priority for you?

First Lady – Yes, I began early on with my own children and, as a result, I have cultivated a large, lovely garden of my own.

me – That is important for people to know. I’m certain that the produce you produce is organic.

First Lady – Organic?

me – You know, no foreign substances, no pesticides, etc.

First Lady – Pesticides?

me – [confused] What do you grow in your garden?

First Lady – Oh, the usual – tomatoes, lettuce, rutabaga, corn, potatoes, onions, rabbits …

me – [interrupting] Rabbits?

First Lady – Yes, my garden is overrun with those wild little rapacious animals.

me –I know, those troublesome members of Congress pop up where you least expect them. [laughing]

First Lady – Congress?

me – Sorry. Just injecting a little humor. Very little, it seems.

Incidentally, I would like to commend you for your exquisite taste in clothes.

First Lady – So happy you noticed. It’s true that I used to just throw on any old thing that was handy, but my taste in clothing has evolved considerably.

me – You could call yourself a queen of couture.

First Lady – Couture?

me – [changing subject] Do you have a favorite hobby?

First Lady – Cooking is my passion. I’m into pie baking these days: cherry pie, pumpkin pie, rutabaga pie …

me – Does your hubby enjoy the pies you make for him?

First Lady – If it doesn’t move, First Guy – that’s my pet name for hubby – will eat it!

me – You mentioned the vegetables you grow in your garden. Do you also grow any fruit in that lovely garden of yours?

Beautiful fruit
Beautiful fruit | Source

First Lady – There is a magnificent, gigantic tree in the center of my garden which has some beautiful fruit that I intend to pick one day. I am not certain if the fruit is apples or pomegranates.

me – Does your husband have a favorite fruit?

First Lady –First Guy will eat anything that doesn’t eat him first. But he does have a fondness for apples.

me – Perhaps you could pick some delicious apples off that tree you mentioned and surprise him with a homemade apple pie?

And then make that personal experience a part of your “healthy eating” marketing message.

First Lady – What an amazing idea! Thank you. I’m going to run out to the garden right now and pick some apples off our tree. I’ll call you later and let you know …

me – [interrupting] Wait a minute, Michelle.

First Lady – Excuse me. What did you say?

me – I said wait a minute. I have a funny feeling about this.

First Lady – No, I mean what did you call me? I am the First Lady.

me – I know. I do apologize. Please forgive my deplorable, unprofessional lack of courtesy by calling you Michelle.

First Lady – That’s what I meant! Don’t you realize you are speaking to THE First Lady?

me – Of course.

First Lady – Then you would know that my name is NOT Michelle! My name is Eve!

[Sound of phone being disconnected]

I guess I shouldn’t hold my breath waiting for her to call back for more marketing maxims.

And it might be wise for me to add ‘Caller ID’ to my phone number immediately – just to be on the safe side!

© Copyright BJ Rakow, Ph.D. (aka drbj) 2014. All rights reserved.

Author, "Much of What You Know about Job Search Just Ain't So".

More by this Author


Comments for Interview with the First Lady 49 comments

Venkatachari M profile image

Venkatachari M 23 months ago from Hyderabad, India

Very entertaining interview. Enjoyed the funny and beautiful chat.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 23 months ago from Olympia, WA

Okay, I now have my laughter quota taken care of for the day. I needed this as I try to calm down some customers. Thanks my friend...funny stuff.


The Frog Prince profile image

The Frog Prince 23 months ago from Arlington, TX

Your interviews are always truly engaging.

The Frog


dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 23 months ago from Wisconsin Rapids

Your punch line caught me off guard. Don't know what I expected, but that wasn't it. sharing


ladyguitarpicker profile image

ladyguitarpicker 23 months ago from 3460NW 50 St Bell, Fl32619

Funny, I knew it was not Mrs. Obama the minute 666 was mentioned. Stella


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 23 months ago from Arkansas

That really is funny. Maybe Eve did feed Adam a pomegranate, and we've had it wrong all along. Or maybe Adam fed the pomegranate to Eve, and they've been lying to us!


always exploring profile image

always exploring 23 months ago from Southern Illinois

This is lol funny, so you got Michelle and Eve mixed up, could happen. Hee..Loved it!


brakel2 profile image

brakel2 23 months ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Hi drbj. The First Lady is Eve, of course. What a funny twist at the end. The humor becomes you, and someone gave you this wonderful gift with words and narration. Maybe you inherited it, or maybe you are an original. Great job! Blessings. Audrey.


Ericdierker profile image

Ericdierker 23 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

Masterfully crafted. Truly you have a talent for interviewing folk. But I thought it was Michelle the entire time.


newjerusalem profile image

newjerusalem 23 months ago from India

I enjoyed the fun, Just I was reading the whole conversation to know when she would declare that she was not actually the First Lady; I knew it at the starting itself. You wrote as if this was the real conversation. The level of your imagination is really high.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, Venkatachari M. Thanks for finding this interview entertaining, funny and beautiful. Just what I hoped you would say.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Nothing delights me more, Billy, than providing your daily entertainment quota. Just as you provide a daily learning experience for all your fond readers. Trust me.

Now go smooth the fur of those ruffled customers. Don't they know WHO you are?


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Thank you for the 'engaging' comment, Jim. Love it!


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

You are very perceptive, Stella, despite my efforts to keep the mystery going as long as possible.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for finding this funny, MizB. I guess we will never know if the fruit was an apple or a pomegranate, but picking it off the tree (whoever was responsible) did change the world according to biblical historians.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

I knew, Ruby, you would understand how I could easily mix up Michelle and Eve. Thanks for the laughter and loving it, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Audrey, for enjoying my funny twist at the end. And thank you for the most sublime comments. Absolutely true of course. Those who know me often comment that I am one of a kind. They just haven't yet figured out what kind of a kind! Blessings to you, too, m'dear.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

So I really gotcha, Eric? That makes my day. So do your sweet comments. Thank you, my friend.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, newjerusalem. Thanks for appreciating the level of my imagination and congrats on deciphering the identity of Eve so quickly.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Don, I thought I had answered your comment already but it seems to have disappeared, so I will repeat that I'm delighted my punchline caught you off guard. And thanks for sharing this.


psychicdog.net profile image

psychicdog.net 23 months ago

Drbj - felt there was a very interesting layer to all this as a modern version of The Fall.


tirelesstraveler profile image

tirelesstraveler 23 months ago from California

Terrific! Love this hub. The comment about the first family moving to Palm Springs and the first lady becoming the senator from my state was all planned when the twist lead me high and further in . Splendid.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 23 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

I knew there had to be a twist at the end, but I couldn't out what it was going to be! Thanks for the surprise and the amusement, drbj.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Thanks for finding my version interesting, pd. Eve didn't have quite the same reaction but it is understandable. No one wants to be #2.


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Nice to see you here, tirelesstraveler. Thanks for loving this hub and the terrific and splendid adjectives. Delighted that my twist 'led you in.'


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

So happy, Alicia, that I surprised and amused you with the twist at the end. That is often my mission, m'dear.


MelRootsNWrites profile image

MelRootsNWrites 23 months ago from California

I knew there must be a twist, but you did have me until the end. Very clever!


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Nice to meet you, Mel. Delighted I had you until the end when you discovered the twist. And thanks for the very clever.


lex123 profile image

lex123 23 months ago

Hilarious and engaging till the end. Loved it..


drbj profile image

drbj 23 months ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, lex123, for loving this 'til the end as I loved your comment: 'hilarious and engaging.'


Just Ask Susan profile image

Just Ask Susan 22 months ago from Ontario, Canada

I couldn't understand why The First Lady had such a limited vocabulary until the end. I sure wasn't expecting you to be talking to Eve. I sure hope she calls you back. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

I hope the call back, dear Susan, is not from the actual First Lady berating me for intimating that her cognitive skills were less than perfect. ;) And I do hope Eve calls back - I forgot to ask if the fruit was an apple or a pomegranate!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 22 months ago from Orlando, FL

Hahaha!! I also want to know if it was an apple tree!! :)


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 22 months ago from southern USA

Hee hee hee ... hilarious! I was intrigued with the 666 number and knew this would be great, and it is great.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 22 months ago from Nashville Tn.

This is toooooo funny! I just love your interviews.

Like Faith Reaper, I howled at the 666 number. The ending was priceless. So are you!


cinderella14 profile image

cinderella14 22 months ago from Philippines

I just can't drop the hub hi hi. Very funny indeed! Thank you for making me laugh today.


Venkatachari M profile image

Venkatachari M 22 months ago from Hyderabad, India

I went to have a second read of it to get some entertainment. It is so much fascinating for me. I would like it read again and again whenever I may be bored to have some laughter.


rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey 22 months ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

HaHA! What a fun surprise ending. This is really, really cute.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 22 months ago from New York

Your interesting articles are only surpassed by your creativity! I have to admit I didn't see the twist coming, you hid it so well and it just fit like an old shoe. Great job my friend.

Voted up, funny, awesome, and interesting.


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 22 months ago from sunny Florida

That was quite a twist...and who cares what it was...it caused quite a stir

Your interviews are far better than any online or television. Perhaps you should consider sharing your knowledge with some of the mega producers...they could learn a thing or two

Angels are on the way to you ps


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

If I ever get to talk to Eve again, I'll ask her about that fruit and tell her that inquiring minds like Linda, want to know.


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

Thanks, Faith, for finding this hilarious. I kinda knew the 666 phone number might strike a chord with you. Thanks for the 'great,' m'dear - you are much appreciated.


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

So nice to know, Audrey, that you love my interviews and find them funny. Then my mission is fulfilled. Love your 'priceless' comment - you ARE the best!


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, cinderella, it was my pleasure to make you laugh. Your laughter is my pleasure, y'know. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, cinderella, it was my pleasure to make you laugh. Your laughter is my pleasure, y'know. :)


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

I could not ask for more flattering comment, Venkatachari, that you enjoy reading this again and again. Be my guest ... any time!


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, Rebecca. Happy you enjoyed the surprise ending, had a few laughs and found this really cute. You make my day.


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

Hi, mary. Thanks for enjoying the twist and the sublime comments, and the beautiful adjectives, and the Up. You really know how to flatter a gal, m'luv.


drbj profile image

drbj 22 months ago from south Florida Author

Delighted you enjoyed my twist, Patricia. Your stunning compliments make it all worth while. Thanks for the angels, too. Sending you a few in return.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working