Hey Top Chef! Salmon Do Not Have Loins!
I don't care what Top Chef says! You need legs to have loins!
If Salmon have loins then obese monkeys swim the English channel!
I don't know what kind of fish Top Chef is eating, but the kind I eat, don't have loins!
My family and I came down with a bad case of cable television last night. We watched all manner of programming and it reminded me how low grade the writing is, like ground round left in the sun too long. It's a real circus of bad puns and melodrama out there in t.v. land!
Anyway, we watched an episode of Top Chef (where the writing, like the food prepared, is at least a bit more adventurous) one of the contestants, an aspiring world class chef named, "Michael" was talking about the use of Salmon loins. This got me thinking, how the hell can salmon have loins?
I referred to the king of meaning in our abode, The American Heritage Dictionary. It states:
loin n.1. Anat. The part of the side and back between the ribs and the pelvis. 2. A cut of meat taken from the loin of the animal. 3. loins. a. The region of the thighs and groin. b. The reproductive organs.
Now you're telling me, that on Top Chef they're serving a delicate melange of capers, dill and fish wanker! Really?! Also, how big can "the region of the thighs and groin" be on a salmon! Two fleas elbows?! For that matter, what does a salmon thigh look like? Do they chafe? I would love to see the look on a waiter's face at a fine dining restaurant if asked for their best cut of trout pelvis. Oh oh, wait sir! Could you also give me a full rack of flounder ribs? Thanks, yum.
I know there's some holier-than-thou Top Chef Supertaster out there who's going to disagree with me. World renown chefs, critics and foodies will be up in arms, protesting the existence of the delicacy of the loin of the sea! My apologies, but no fine bottle of Terlato Vineyards Wine will make a fish loin taste good to me! And I eat Ikura!
Top Chef, you gotta pack up your knives mon fraire! There's contrary then there's salmon loins, make mine rare!
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