Even Though I Swore Never Again, I've Started A Diet

When I was a teenager I made myself miserable trying to diet. I came up with some horrible diets that were doomed to failure. There was the Eat One Day Don't Eat For Three Days diet. There was also the Hard-Boiled Egg diet. I'd start to lose weight and then I'd stop and since I wasn't losing any I was like, "Why am I making myself suffer like this for nothing," and would go off the diet. At some point I just gave up on dieting and decided if the weight came off it came off and if it didn't it didn't. It just wasn't worth making myself miserable over.

One of my big problems is I think have what they call a palette. I can't tell the different tastes homogenized milk has. I also have no self-control when it comes to food. If something tastes good to me I can't stop myself from going back for seconds. Lately, I've gotten this bizarre idea in my head that I can't leave any leftovers and try to eat everything I made in one setting, even though I'm already full.

When I was working, I had to walk to work and I was walking all day long, so my weight suddenly started coming off me and I could eat what I pleased because I was burning more calories than I was taking in. I dropped six dress sixes in the eight years I worked where I worked. Unfortunately, I've been out of work for over a year and a half and I'm not getting that exercise anymore and I've been putting the weight back on. I've got so out of shape I can barely walk any distance now without needing to sit down and rest. I spend most of my days sitting in front of the computer. I'm also one of those people that can't do exercise for exercise sake. I loathe exercising and find it mind-numbingly boring. I have to be doing something like walking to work or doing a job to get exercise, otherwise I can find a million things I'd rather be doing than doing stupid exercise.

The big problem is when I lost all my weight, I gave away all my big clothes away to charity. The problem is the clothes that used to fit me I'm having trouble fitting into now. That's what finally got me to say enough and to do something about it. That's when the diet started.

It's not really a diet per se. It's more of a more healthy way to eat. Before there were some days I'd eat a whole can of Pringles Honey-Mustard potato chips for lunch and then eat a whole bag of cheese puffs for supper. That would be accompanied by several cans of pop. I also hate water, and I'm not taking enough in. Sometimes I'll go the whole day without drinking something and that's not good in summer.

So part of the diet consists of having to drink a gallon of watered down Kool-Aid for my water intake. I'm only allowing myself 3 cans of soda pop per day. There were days I wouldn't be surprised if I'd go through a whole 12-pack of soda pop in a day. I eat breakfast. For lunch I have a TV dinner. And for summer I have a piece of meat and a baked potato. And I can't have any seconds.

Can I say something about the TV dinner? Since when did they cut down on the food in a regular size one? Out of curiosity I looked to see how many calories it was and it's only 250 calories. When a glass of milk is 150 calories you know that can't be much food if it's that little calories.

The biggest struggle I've had so far was over a barbecue spare rib. I'd made two and after I ate my rib and baked potato, I wanted to go out and get the other one. I struggled against doing it for a good 90 minutes. I even tried to rationalize that there wasn't that much meat on it, so two ribs would be really like eating one. I finally won the battle, and it was a battle, and put it away in the refrigerator and had it for dinner the next night.

My first time going to my local convenience store to buy some cat litter for my cat was an interesting experience. Usually when I go there, I come out with a pint of Ben and Jerry's [which I eat in one sitting] and a couple of bags of potato chips. This time when I looked at the potato chips I knew I couldn't buy then because I'll just eat them until I reach the bottom of the bag. I have no self-control. I figure the next time I can get to the supermarket I'll buy a bag of those individual snack bags and only allow myself one a day as a treat. The same goes for ice cream. I can only buy ice cream cups or ice cream bars or ice cream sandwiches and only allow myself one a day. And I can't have both potato chips and ice cream in one day. It has to be one or the other. Allowing myself a little treat will stop me from being unsatisfied by what I'm eating.

Another threat to the diet came when I allowed myself to think about the situation with my car. Every time I do I just get so angry. I paid $900 to get it fixed, which was every thing I had, and two weeks later it broke down again and now I can't even start it. And because of that I'm having to struggle just to buy my cat his cat litter. The problem is when you're angry or frustrated it can lead to comfort eating. But I told myself I wasn't going to let it happen and instead grabbed a jug of watered down Kool-Aid and stuck to my diet. Wanting to be able to fit into my clothes again is providing a great motivation to behave myself.

If I can give advice to anyone else out there dieting in hopes of losing weight, it's the following:

• Set realistic goals. Instead of thinking I'm going to take all my weight off. I just want to take enough weight off so my clothes will fit again. If I can accomplish that, then the next goal will be to try and drop another dress sizes. Just take it one step at a time and when you meet a goal successfully it'll give you the impetus to keep on going.
• Don't weigh yourself. Weighing myself is how I've gone off every diet I've ever been on. You become obsessed by the numbers and when they don't go down fast enough, you get frustrated and think why you're depriving yourself of the food you love for nothing. So you stop dieting and start eating.
• Create a diet for yourself that cuts down on the food you're eating, but one that can be a your new way from eating from now on. The way I'm eating now I believe is a healthy way to eat. I'm eating breakfast, lunch and supper. I'm cutting down on my soda pop consumption and snack foods. Dieting or not, it's the way I can continue to eat.
• Give yourself treats. If you're not satisfied by what you're eating, you risk being tempted to go off your diet. Just remember to give yourself your treat in moderation.
• Recognize your problem areas and when you go shopping make the necessary changes you need to make to help you stick with your new way of eating.

So far, it's been almost a week and I don't miss not eating the way I was eating before. The meals I eat are satisfying and I don't feel I'm being deprived. Right now, I'm just taking it one day at a time and not even thinking about losing weight. If you become too obsessed with obtaining your goal you almost doom yourself to failure.