If I Could Live My Life All Over Again

Life has come and gone and I have heard it told; "It took all of my yesterdays to make my todays". What I have left is the dream I started with, the nucleus of my being. It is the thought of "What if I could do it all over again?" that set me in a cyclone of rear view contemplation.

If I could do it over again, I would spend more time with my mother. When she was fairly young and I was a young child, she held the secret to my life. She made me into a reputable and productive young man. She passed to me that I needed to study hard and be punctual.

If I could do it all again, I would spend more time getting to know my father. When he was fairly young, and I was a child, he spent his life caring for his family, way more than caring for himself. He made me understand the sense of responsibility, and taught me to find the right priorities and to seek wisdom. He also managed to teach me fear and respect.

If I could do it all again, I would be closer to my brothers and sisters. Each one of them had their own talents. Each had their own personality. Just because we came from the same parents didn't make us all to have the same character traits or make us to have the same dreams. We were perhaps of the same DNA but not of the same anything else. We were distinctly different.

If I could do it all over again, I would spend more time with the love of my life, My wife was the best I could imagine. She was thoughtful and considerate in many ways and always thought of others. She was amazing and could do things I could not even begin to think of. She had a glow and a light within her that made others feel loved and appreciated.

If I could do it all over again, I would spend more time with my daughters, the very fruit of my loins; they were my treasure and a gift from above. I would spend more time with them, loving them, and showing them a fathers devotion. I would direct them in pursuit of life, and help them achieve their own dreams. I would see them through to their first steps into adulthood. I would make sure they had adequate support and strive to give them confidence in their lives.

If I could do it over again, I would change the world I live in. I would show others how to make it and not break it. I would lead a life of purpose, and I would let myself flow into others. I would not be so selfish with my time and my abilities. I would help the elderly and the handicapped more. I would give of my resources and of my talents when they were needed to those I loved and even to my neighbors. I would not forget the destitute. I would encourage the destitute, the helpless and the hopeless to make it. I would just be different. I would ask myself each evening "Did I do everything possible to make a difference and to effect my surroundings? Did I show love to a few people throughout my day?"

If I could do it all over again, I would still be here examining myself. I would give a thought and a prayer to who I am. I would say " WHO AM I?".

Oscarlites August 16, 2015 Copyright by Law.

Our lives continue; nights, days, tranquil afternoons, hazy mornings; with all the details recorded in actions, notes, songs, poems and even in things we craft together, or homes that we build. We list our thoughts one by one as we go along by a step here, or a line we write there: What would it take to change the world we live in? How would we be able to ever retrace our steps and redo our walks into the sunlight, into the sunset, into the misty morning? Those are events already done, and the best we can do is reflect and change the new steps that appear before us. The best we can do is write our future differently with thoughtful contemplation if there is time to do so.. Otherwise we must just break out in the morning full-speed ahead and attempt our own personal moon landings and desert adventures with energetic spontaneity, and abandon worthy of royal accolade. Our experiences fill us with new vision and new plans unless we quit or give up along the way. The fires inside our hearts are kindled with the fuel we pick up in the trails of our dreams, enabling us to live out the excitement and to endure the times of heartache and loss. Brilliant bursts of fireworks come forth when the fires are hot, and meagerly streams of tear stained cold wet footsteps, slowly freezing, when no fuel has been found. No fire will come forth from an ice cube engineered in the life process unless it is the reflected fire and light from an outside source. Thus, we endeavor to place ourselves in the best position and in the best locality to receive future life fuel like when in your last breath out on the Arctic ice, late in the night, that we lie prostrate in a place that mornings sunlight will waken and rejuvenate us, when without it, we would die. We wrap ourselves with the memories of strength and joy, hoping for more of the positive energies life emits upon us when God is smiling upon us. Hating for darkness, or the falling stars to strike us, sending us into tunnels of despair and frailty. We must depend on the gradual friction of free-falling to warm our frozen heart and slowly rekindle the lost flame. Staying in the elements is crucial to our existence, for removal of the human spirit from the elements, quitting, ceasing to interact would only hasten the final blink of the eye or beating of our heart. No poetry can inspire life, or death. No Dickens, or Poe, or Cummings, can existentially make the heart that stiffened beat again. The muscles of that blood pumping organ depend on a spirit to give it life, the rhythm set by the depth of the yearning for it to beat again. Awaken oh dreamer, awaken oh warrior, and live again.. Live on.. Live on..

Written by Oscar Jones/copyrights/ Hubpages, June 16th, 2018