Miscarriages and D&Cs

D&C’s, dilation and curettage, is pretty common for what I have found out. 10%-25% of all recognized pregnancies will end with a miscarriage. This is called a common type of pregnancy loss. A chemical loss happens to 50%-75% of pregnancies before a woman will even know she is expecting. Women in their childbearing years have a 10%-25%. Most healthy women have a 10%-25% chance of having a miscarriage. After the age of 35, the risk will get larger through the years. If you have lost a baby, the chance of losing another is 25% more then someone that has never had one. A miscarriage can happen before 13 weeks and sometimes as far into the pregnancy as 20 weeks. There are so many reasons for a miscarriage. Either there was a problem with implantation, hormonal problems; your lifestyle wasn’t healthy, age, chromosomal abnormalities & maternal trauma.

On April 22, 2011, we had the unexpected, horrible, choice to make to join the group of people who opted to have this done, instead of miscarrying on their own. The painful choice to do this is the worst choice I have ever had to make. When we found out we were expecting again, after our youngest turned 6, it was a little hard to believe. I mean, I always want more children and my husband is usually more realistic about adding more. I am always questioning him to add to our broad but a no, we can’t afford anymore. Can you really ever afford kids? I say go with the flow!

We were at our second appointment and they couldn’t find the heartbeat. This isn’t uncommon for us. With our oldest it always took awhile to find it. So, we just assumed it was the same thing. They listened, looked and listened again…nothing. My heart was racing faster than if I were a race car engine. I didn’t want to believe what they were going to tell me. Another doctor came in and did the same thing. Was this all too good to be true? All they could say was, “I am sorry!” I wonder to this day if they truly were…

My husband and I had to choose to let nature take its course and miscarry on our own or have a D&C. I honestly thought, maybe we should wait and see, maybe the doctors were both wrong and the baby was just being difficult. My husband and I made this choice together, to have a D&C. It still wasn’t easy. But, when would it really be? Choosing to get rid of your child you carried for almost 4 months, is the crappiest day you will ever have. We had the procedure the next morning. I think they should just drug you so you don’t remember even finding out you were expecting and do this surgery. Then you wouldn’t have to deal with the loss of a once living baby inside of you!

I f you have never had a miscarriage or opted to have a D&C, be thankful. I never in my life thought I would have to have one. My parents suffered a few of these. I always hoped I was in the clear and maybe it skipped a generation. Sure I had 3 healthy pregnancies, why couldn’t I have more, without this crap in the middle?

It was horrible to tell our children that the baby wasn’t alive anymore. After the girls spent day and night, writing names in a book. We didn’t tell them the whole process we went through. Maybe someday we will. They might figure it out later, like I always did with what my parents dealt with. Would you tell your children? How would you tell them?

After we were already home the day of my surgery, the doctor called. Some tests were done afterwards and it looked like they figured out why we had a miscarriage. Turns out I had a little thing called; Partial Molar Pregnancy. From the next day on, for 7 weeks, I went in for blood work. Once a week they tested 1 vial of blood for the hormone levels. If the levels didn’t go down, it could cause uterine cancer. Luckily mine declined within 4 weeks. The remaining 3 weeks of blood work were to make sure my levels stayed the same, below 5. My counts started out at 3680 and went down from there.

I, still to this day, have moments, sometimes days, where I relive that day. I would have thought that after almost 4 months, I would be over it. Sadly, it seems there is a different path I need to follow. I have not figured out what way to go. Do I take the path to the right, which leads me wanting another child? Or the left, just give up and be thankful I have 3 beautiful children already? Either way I feel like it will be a long drive.