You're An Outright Liar! But You're Money To Me Baby
I ran a disc jockey company for close to twenty years and provided musical entertainment for 700 parties annually.
In order to run a successful enterprise like this, one has to hire on some pretty good guys and gals. They must possess qualities such as personality, confidence, a good knowledge of music from different eras and most importantly a good rapport with the people in attendance at each and every event.
A disc jockey is one thing, but an entertainer -- now, that's a different category altogether. A good entertainer who can also choose the right 40-50 songs at any one party is a rare person to find. This person is "money in the Bank" because when he or she is sent out to play music for a party, you can be sure that this one individual will guarantee you 3-4 more parties down the road. That's money in your pocket and a great talent to have working for you.
It just so happened that I had a fellow like that. This one individual brought in at least 50 new parties a year for me and at $300 a crack back then, he could say anything he wanted to say. It didn't matter to me. The other disc jockeys would return to home base after each party and there was always a good story to be told. But this one fellow always had the best story of all -- and they were all lies! But, did I Care? "Heck, No!" He had dollar signs all over him. I wasn't gonna mess with that.
I had brides calling me up on Monday morning telling me that they liked the music at their mixed stag party but please don't send that disc jockey to the wedding because all he did was talk all night. Then the Dad's would call up and tell me they loved that guy and to please send him back for their daughters wedding in two weeks. Well, do I listen to the bride or the Dad? I listened to whoever was writing the cheque!
Now, this particular disc jockey worked for me for about 15 years and if I had the time and space, you'd be reading one of my novels that I could write - just about him.
- The party is over and here he comes.
"Well, how was it ", I said. "Great
party but I gotta tell you what happened " he
blurted out. I replied with "O.K. I'm listening ."
He went on to tell me that he had to relieve himself
while one of the songs was playing so he disappeared into
the men's room. He was only in there for about a minute
when suddenly there was a knock on the door. He stopped
what he was doing and answered the door. Well --to his
utmost surprize -- it was --the Bride? What!
She said to him, "I just wanted to thank you for doing such a great job tonight and I wanted to show you personally, my appreciation" ... - HuH?
And people wondered why I called the company "BJ the DJ".
- The party is over and here he comes. I had
with me another Disc Jockey who had arrived home before
Mr. Liar Face. We were sitting there talking about the
open heart surgery his son had gone through when he was
only a year old. Liar Face (I'll call him that so you
who I'm talking about) just stood there listening
and at times popped in with a few questions. The
following week after another night of parties, the
fellows all arrived home as usual and were sitting around
talking about the things that went on at their dances.
Mr. Liar Face asked me in a rather loud and pronounced
voice - "You know last week what you guys were
talking about - you know, that open heart surgery
thing"? Everyone quieted down and Mr. Face went
on now that he had the full attention of everyone around
him. "Well - I didn't want to say anything then,
but -- I had open heart surgery myself when I was a
kid." Yah, right, I said. He unbuttoned his
shirt to reveal a massive long scar down the center of
his chest. "Holy Cow!" We all looked at each
About a year later, I had "Liar Face" over to build an office for me in the garage. It was a hot day but he had volunteered for the job. As he was working, his shirt was off in the heat of the afternoon and I noticed that the scar he had showed us a year earlier was no longer there. I stood back in amazement and went in from the garage to tell Judy that his scar was gone. Well -- she told me to go back out and confront him about this but I wasn't about to. I don't like to embarrass anyone and to this day, I have never mentioned it to him.
- The party is over and here he comes.
"Well, how was it?" I asked. "Good
party, but I would have liked to have been at the
Coliseum" , he said. "What do you
mean?" "Oh, didn't I tell you. My
security staff is there for the Garth Brooks show." "What
security staff?" He went on to say -- "I
started up this security company years ago. You didn't
know about it?" -- "Ah, No."
He continued, "Well, anyways, I got a call a few
weeks ago that they needed my crew tonight for the
concert, so I sent the lads down to the show earlier
today. I knew I had a party to do for you so I didn't go
to the Coliseum. Can I use your phone to make a
call?" I told him to go ahead and use it.
As he was on the phone, he was talking loud and I heard him ask for Garth. "Hello Garth -- how was the show --blah, blah, blah, for about a minute. O.K. -- glad everthing went well --say hi to the wife." I asked him who he was talking to and he told me -- "Garth Brooks".
Judy and I sat there in disbelief. After he left our house I went over to the phone and pressed "Redial". The number that showed up was, you guessed it -- Mr. Liar Face's home telephone. He had been talking to his own voice recorder. Again, Judy told me to go and confront him on this, but I never did. Would any of you readers ask him about it? O.K. You probably would, but I don't wish embarrassment on anyone.
And so there it is, a few examples of what a true liar can come up with. I read an aricle in Hub Pages about the six ways to define a pathological Liar (compulsive liar). I didn't agree with many of the statements in that article because I actually had one of these guys in my home for many years and he never displayed any of the attributes discussed in the article -- like missing dates and making excuses. He never missed a party in 15 years and never once made up excuses for anything. You see, A real, true pathological Liar is somone who actually believes what he says and truly believes that what he says has really happened, so how can I embarrass someone like that.
I noticed a scar on his head where his hairline was receding and so maybe this guy did have an operation or two, but it certainly wasn't on his heart -- his brain was more like it. So, No Way! I wasn't about to embarrass this man. He truly believes what he says and besides -- his tales make wonderful fireside stories.
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