Bipolar-Normal Is Just A Point Of View

Normal Is Just A Point Of View

I have noticed when I am manic some ’people‘ are not all that thrilled about my happiness. They don’t like that I don’t give much thought to what I say when I start off on a manic ramble. Or to be more specific, I talk a lot more when I am manic. By this I mean I tend to say what I feel more often than not. I don’t hold back as much, like I normally would. I shoot off my mouth, pick arguments and am always right. This seems to aggravate many people, especially the one's I am closest to.

They think I am exaggerating. That the things I talk about are never accurate, because when I am manic I am somehow less passive and they DO NOT like it when I am assertive. Or when I talk about things they like keeping under the rug. I hate the word exaggerating. They accuse me of stretching the truth. Especially if they are the ones I am ranting about. They just don’t want to face the fact they are not perfect. And I am not always the passive little mouse I pretend to be because I don’t want to hurt their feelings. Mania has a strange way of creating to much tension and a unrealistic way of thinking. I am not saying I am right or even that I am wrong. Or that I am lying, I am just extremely animated in my thoughts when I am in a manic phase.

Then on the other hand. They think I am overly sensitive, they think I am extraordinarily emotional, they think I am too kind, they think I am peculiar, they think I am just having a bad day. I get the impression they would prefer me to be quiet and self-effacing like I usually am. I am really just a huge neurotic worrywart. They prefer passivity over the happy, elevated lunatic ready for the adventure of a lifetime persona.

It is disconcerting to find out they really dislike that part of my personality. It hurts my feelings, because I want to think my friends and family would prefer happy over passive and dispassion. . A mood swing has a mind of it's own. If I could make them happy with a perfect mood, than I would, but sadly I cannot.


Always in a mood

It seems to me, I am always something or someone they don't like. "Always in a mood," they often say. Well the truth is, that's bipolar up close and personal. I do my best to maintain my mood swings, but they creep up and can ruin my day, week, or even months. It isn't always a joy being me. But it is me, whether taking medications or not taking medications, whether up or down, it is me. That is bipolar. That is my life. That is who I am. Period. That is how I live my life with bipolar disorder.

So I often ask myself how do I make the people around me happy? The simple answer is I don't. You just be what you are and try to improve upon that hoping they will understand you are what you are and what they feel cannot be a reflection on your mood or you will forever be trying to change something about yourself that can never be changed.

I would do anything to make them happy for who I am. But oftentimes whatever mood I am in it isn't the mood they prefer me to be in, it can't be wrong because it is who I am. Period and everlasting. If I am sad, that upsets them, if I am happy that more often than not worries them, if I am in a so-called normal state of in between moods, than they just worry when the next episode is coming, so no winning is the only way to play the game of bipolar.

Look deeper, you might find somebody you like

Things I can do to make it easier on you:

  • I can explain that I cannot always predict when a mood is coming
  • I can give you as much knowledge about bipolar as I know
  • I can listen more intently to your concerns
  • I can continue to take my meds and manage my illness with your help
  • I can let you know what I am going through and give you space to grasp it
  • I can find ways for you to understand I don't always hear your concern
  • I can enjoy doing things together
  • I can express in writing to help you gain insight

Things you can do to make it easier on me:


  • You can limit nagging and criticizing
  • You can let me be alone if I need that
  • Don't act like I am just trying to get attention, I am not
  • You can be patient when things go array
  • Know that a few kind words of understanding go a long way
  • You can offer to do an activity together
  • You can just listen without commenting, or judging

Bipolar disorder is not easy on anyone, not the person who has it, or the people they interact with. Both can learn and understand each other if the lines of communication are left open and used to the fullest of their ability. Fighting against a current will never benefit either person, be kind, open and honest. only then is it possible for relationships to bloom with a healthy dose of love and compassion.



Who doesn't want to be normal?

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Comments 23 comments

crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 2 years ago from Washington MI Author

Thank you manatita for your very insightful encouragement. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated.


manatita44 profile image

manatita44 2 years ago from london

Interesting and educational. Good you added those things which we can do to help. I know little about the condition. No easy solution. Keep on keeping on. Loving thoughts.


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 2 years ago from Washington MI Author

Thank you DDE.


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Very interesting and helpful about how one can notice mental illness voted up and useful.


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

Mental Illness-How Do You See It? is an informative and well researched hub, certainly a welcomed health information


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

Thank you, my goal is for people not touched by mental illness to understand a little bit of what those who have a diagnosis go through on a daily basis.


moonlake profile image

moonlake 4 years ago from America

Lots of good information. Bipolar is hard to understand sometimes. You have explained a lot and it will be helpful to many people. We have bipolar in our family....Voted Up


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

Your welcome, I am sure your dad a great struggle with his schizophrenia. The key is to educate people, get to know them, show them we are not monsters, we have dreams and desires just like they do, we just happen to have a mental illness we share with those dreams and desires. Thank you for sharing.


chuckd7138 profile image

chuckd7138 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, VA

My dad, when he was alive was a schizophrenic, and so many people judged him and spoke about him like he was a mentally healthy person, but he was far from it. Even I have to admit that there were times when my patience with him was worn thin, but he was my dad, and I loved him regardless. People just need to be educated about mental illnesses in order to be more patient and compassionate, and these hub helps with that. Thank you for sharing.


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

Your very welcome, nothing wrong with fresh material, you will succeed no matter your topic, i will read whatever you decide to publish...keep on!


schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

Hi,

I'm not so sure if I want to republish the old ones. I guess I'll wait till I feel 'right'

about it.

Thanks for appreciating them!

Take care


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

Thank you for your comments and I do appreciate them...I try to even out the good and the bad...because it isn't all bad, there are good and normal breakthroughs that need to be written about, I just have some things going on now that writing is taing a back seat. I so appreciate your ariting, and miss your articles, as they are very helpful, but encourage your new topics and look forward to reading. I have learned to steer clear of people who cannot grasp the idea of mental illness. But some people are so in need of educating, they just cannot see or undertsnad that it exists and is serious.


schoolgirlforreal profile image

schoolgirlforreal 4 years ago from USA

Hi pal,

I just wanted to comment immediately on what came to mind right away:

If you go to therapy or group therapy, you can learn to be assertive most of the time which may help you. I know we are all different, but I learned to stick up for my self over the years. And you're right, be who you want to be, or what makes you happy, and leave the rest, stay away from haters,negative or unsupportive people or so called friends.

By the way I unpulbished (but still have all of them) my hubs on bipolar. Only one is published now. I want to move forward but I'm afraid I'm running away from the truth, or maybe since I'm better, I don't feel the need for the old hubs and want to write better and newer ones.

But I'm glad people are learning from your perspective, I always thought it was important to communicate esp on this side of the coin about an "invisible illness..." that people can't see and can't understand unless they try and even then not completey. that's why they are hiring tons of peer specialists now.

Good to see you hubbing again on this.

x0


TripleAMom profile image

TripleAMom 4 years ago from Florida

That is really sad that someone would berate and use name calling. There are so many myths out there about "mental illness" and it is so frustrating. I wrote a hub called "Chemical Not Crazy" to dispel the myth that just because someone is diagnosed with a mental health condition does not mean they are crazy, etc. There is a chemical imbalance at work just as if that same person had diabetes requiring insulin or a thyroid condition requiring synthroid or another medication to regulate the condition. It is a physiological condition that can be corrected just like any number of other conditions, but many people are so turned off due to the myths that they don't take the time to learn.


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

Your welcome, I am finding there are more people who are willing and able to understand mental illness with an open mind and compassion. I recently have been deluged with horrible comments and name calling because the certain individual refuses to believe mental illness should even be allowed on the planet. I am glad your daughter is starting to understand what she is going through, and has such a great and insightful mother, thank you so much!


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

My daughter was recently diagnosed with bipolar. She said that it really helped to know what it was that was happening. She feels a lot better about herself now. Thanks for writing this hub and helping me understand what she is experiencing.


connieow profile image

connieow 4 years ago from El Cajon, CA

I can relate to the trials you are experiencing. Mental disorders take a toll on everyone concerned. It is easier for my family to pretend I do not exist than it is to own their part in my disorder, PTSD.

The truth is there, but for many it is hard to grasp. And for most family members it is not easy to take responsibility or feel overly responsible, depending on the infliction one has acquired.

Bless you.


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

Thank you for your open and understanding view of what mental illness is, it is hard for even those who are not inflicted.


gmmurgirl profile image

gmmurgirl 4 years ago from Pilipinas

Thank you for enlightening us about this condition. It is not very easy to have it and your hub has presented it in such a way that would be very understandable, especially for a lot of people who have no idea what this illness is about.


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

I know with a mental illness one can tend to get selfish, and it has to be a give and take to really understand the things both sides go through. Thanks so much for reading.


crazybeanrider profile image

crazybeanrider 4 years ago from Washington MI Author

Thank you, it was a shock to hear that many people do not always understand.Thnak you for reading and your awareness means a lot.


TripleAMom profile image

TripleAMom 4 years ago from Florida

Thanks for posting and for your honesty. As a therapist, it's always helpful to hear true feelings so I can better work with patients. Following you now.


Sage in a Cage profile image

Sage in a Cage 4 years ago

Really interesting article! I really like the 'things I can do for you' and 'things you can do for me' sections.

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