How Holidays Increase Narcissistic Behavior

For those of us who survived having lived with, and endured a narcissistic personality we know all too well that simply because they are our ex spouse does not mean they are out of our lives. If we had children with them or not, the narcissist will continue to seek revenge upon us for our happiness and success.

If we have had children with the narcissist the children will only serve as a tool for to use against us whenever possible.

Because misery loves company, and the narcissist is a miserably sick human being he is fed by your unhappiness. If he knows he is making you unhappy the narcissist feels full and happy. If he knows your happy he feels sick and the need to make you unhappy grows more intense in him.

When dealing with the narcissist it is best to show no emotion. You do not want to feed him; nor do you want to make him attack you further. No emotion confuses the narcissist and leads him to not know where to go next.

The less he knows about your life, the less he has to feed on to make you unhappy.

Holidays are an extremely busy time for the narcissistic personality. For me it was Mother's Day, my daughter's birthday, and my son's graduation from high school. Other times included when I went to school and showed success in my career. Each year on Mother's Day the narcissist would start a family feud, telling me how stupid my ideas were. He would start off smoothly, asking me what I wanted for Mother's Day, and when I would answer he would engage the children into agreeing with him that my idea was stupid, or dumb, that what I wanted for Mother's Day meant nothing. This went on for years.

My daughter's birthday's; each year the narcissist father with his total disregard for females in general, would begin a family feud, telling me my ideas for my daughters birthday were stupid and dumb or coming up with some reason to have a family feud.

On my son's graduation day from high school, just after our separation, the narcissist started a feud,and had my son so upset he didn't even want to attend his own graduation.

After my son's graduation, his narcissistic father talked him out of living in the dorm and attending college away from him. His father called college a stupid waste of time and has since been successful in isolating my son from the college that he had worked so hard for during his high school years.

Anything happy, anything good, the narcissist will always attempt to destroy it.

This is why the holidays are an extremely busy time for the narcissist. He lives to ruin them for others. And what better time than Thanksgiving, and Christmas, since they are so close together this is a wonderful time of year for the narcissist to get fat and happy by making you miserable.

If you must engage with your ex narcissistic spouse because you have young children together do not succumb to his negativity, but rather expect it. One thing about the narcissist is that he can be predictable around the holidays and happy times. In some ways this can give you the power you need to plan how you will effectively ward off the negativity and stay happy and healthy throughout the holiday season.

If you must drop the children off with the narcissist be sure to separate your home from the narcissists home when the children return. Do not speak ill of their family member. Simply separate the two homes by not asking questions about what they did at their family members house. If they offer information, or something that the other parent said, acknowledge them and quickly move onto your life at your house. By doing this the narcissist will not be able to upset your household through the children for the holidays.

If you have a narcissist ex who stalks you, cyber stalks you, threatens you, or harasses you in any other way, simply change your e-mail address, change your phone number, or use number blocking. Take his e-mails, print them out, and obtain a stalking order. Notify your local police of the harassment and threats each and every time.