The Moment You Let Go Of All Expectations, And Become You

We are always striving to be our best self, to give our best smile, to show the world our best life, to do our best work. We always have this feeling of accomplishment when someone gives us a compliment, we feel like we achieved what we wanted. But what is it that we want in others? Why do we always look for acceptance in others, and not ourselves? Isn't it exhausting?

A few years ago, I decided to stop doing things for others to accept me. I started dressing my way, being myself, doing the things I love, just being free. Within weeks I realized that it felt so liberating, so lite. My main example would be, the moment I shaved my head again, not because my hair was damaged, or needed a new start, but because I wanted to, because I liked it. Many people would ask me why, and found themselves perplexed at my simple answer "because I wanted to". It is like they entered a zone of confusion, as of why would I do something so drastic just because I felt like it. That right there showed me, we are too worried about what society thinks of us, how we are perceived, but who is society anyway?

I started talking to people more, about their dreams, their plans, their goals, and I would always ask "So, why haven't you done that?" and the answer always seems the same, "Because, what would people think?" Don't get me wrong, we all have jobs, we all have to behave, and follow the laws, but isn't that already common sense? What about what we really want? Lets say for example, someone told me they wanted to go to the gym, but they were afraid of going by themselves because they didn't want to seem like that "weird" loner at the gym. Lets think about that for a moment. You go to the gym, you work out, you are doing it for you, yet, you are stopping yourself from going because you don't want to seem weird? I had to laugh, and then explained, that what seemed weird about it was the fact that they were so worried of working out and bettering themselves because its looked down upon. That just seems crazy to me. If you want to go to the gym, then go, if you want to dine by yourself, do it, and own it and be proud. Show the world that its such a fabulous thing to enjoy your own company, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it!!

Here is another example. A very dear friend to me, who is actually on his way of becoming a brain surgeon, wants to get Tattoos. I understand that in that line of work, they can't be visible. But at the same time, he is more worried about how he will be seen. I understand medicine is a very serious yet amazing field, and as we progress I do believe that in the near future, tattoos will be something so common, that the rules will change, as they are slowly beginning to, and more employers will accept their employees to express who they are. After all, we are all quite different and that's what makes each and every single one of us amazing.

There are so many different things I have heard, women that want to shave their heads, but are afraid of how they will be seen, people that want to cut their hair or dye it, but don't know if people will like it, people that would love to dress a certain way, but are too afraid their other half wont find them attractive... It goes on and on.

So then, what are we doing with life, living it for other peoples approval? We live in a generation of selfies, I myself take one selfie a day, some I post some I don't, some I look beautiful in, and some I look plain weird. I am ok with that, because we are not perfect. We are our most vulnerable at a natural state, without makeup, or in the nude, but yet, we go to museums, and see nude art, and maybe giggle, but there's no denying finding the beauty in them, because of the vulnerability, not because of the perfection of it. I feel my most beautiful without make up, without doing my hair, wearing the clothes I love, reading my weird books, embracing the bohemian way of nature as well as the nerd in me. All the things I would avoid when I was young, because I wanted to be accepted. But then after many years of realizing that it didn't matter what I did, not everyone accepts us, I finally decided to just be me, because I accept who I am, and after all that is what matters, self acceptance.

What can I say? I think we as a society have wasted too much time, wanting to be accepted by others, and I say us, because we are all part of society, so if all of us feel like this here and there, then we should accept ourselves. The moment you accept yourself, and you are proud of who you are, and you start doing the things you have always wanted to, you will see that it will become easier to accept others. Maybe we have difficulty accepting others, because deep down inside everyone is conscious that we are just doing things to belong. I say do what you love, be who you are, and cut your strings. Love yourself, and at that moment, you will realize that you have never felt this beautiful before. Live your life your way, those who love you, will love you no matter what. Be free.