Thyroid Issues - What - Why - Recovery

My Thyroid Storm

But not for me! Does this mean anything to you? it didn't for me until recently I experienced thyroid storm. I took a journey through my sub-conscious, a deep dark place of denial. A place where I discovered I believed in all of the wonderful glories of life. I believed everyone deserved good things......but not me. I did not believe even a fractal portion of this applied to me. I was not worthy, not deserving, never had been, never would be. In this deep dark place I wanted to cease to exist, I was worthless and meaningless. The only reason I am still here is because of my belief of everyone Else's worthiness, I did not want anyone else to experience pain.

It Can be Rocky

The Storm Continues

What a storm, what a revelation! I realized this was not new, for as far back as I went in my sub-conscious I found this pattern to resonate true. I had always believed I was not worthy or of value. I recognized that it had always manifested in my life. As I believed, my life experiences proved I was right. I did not even consciously recognize these feelings and patterns, I did not realize that as I wrote of joy, my inner voice said, "But not for me". As love poured in, I became resentful and angry, I was right again - my guilt proved my worthlessness.

My training and knowledge became cliches, useless just like me. I cried for two days, almost non-stop, letting out a pain and denial so deeply buried, yet I recognized its face when it appeared to me.

Rescue and Recognition

Family, friends, local authorities and the V.A. Hospital rescued me from myself, my only enemy. As the thyroid storm subsided and chemical and hormonal balances shifted, so also did my experience. Allowing my conscious brain to kick in again and add some logic to the mixture. I struggled as I allowed others to love me and care. I listened as they advised and shared. I then went to the metaphysical library in my office and consulted with my references. (For those of you unfamiliar with metaphysics, it is a big scary word that simply means that everything physical is only a mirror or symbol to show us what is happening on a sub-conscious, emotional or spiritual level.) There were many phrases associated with thyroid issues. There was no differentiation between hyperthyroid or hypothyroid. All of these phrases resonated with the "truths" my sub-conscious showed me. The one phrase consistent and repeated in every reference was, "but not for me".

I know that I asked for this experience as I always ask for growth, healing and wellness. I was not prepared however, to discover my own deep dark secrets I had so cleverly hidden. I know now what needs healing and I know that the same holds true for anyone and everyone experiencing thyroid issues. I share my story in hopes of expediting my own wellness. Additionally, it is my desire that everyone else can see this mirror through my eyes without having to take the dark journey I took.

Recovery and Reframing

How to love me? How for each of you to love you? How to recognize and allow our own worthiness to shine through? As tears continue to pour from my eyes and glance off my cheeks, I will be the last one to say this is easy. Much easier to go back to the routine of taking care of me so everyone else can be happy, than it is to take care of me because I am worthy and important.

Re-framing: Consciously begin to re-frame thoughts as they enter your brain. Example: I was instructed how to make a good meal for me, I said "okay" and went to comply... of course so they would feel good. I stopped and said out loud, "I am making this for me because I am worthy". Instantly tears burst from my eyes, I know my sub-conscious is struggling to believe this, as will yours. Each thing that I do and you do, stop, say out loud "For me, because I am worthy". I don't know what emotion you will experience, but I do know you will experience emotions......Anger, rage, resentment, judgement, shame, guilt, sorrow. Whatever it is, experience it and let it go. It is okay, I am okay, say it out loud. Put notes to yourself everywhere, don't just look at them, read them out loud, acknowledge them, acknowledge you.

References

1) Feelings Buried Alive Never Die...... Karol K. Truman Copyright 1991 Olympus Distributing Las Vegas, Nevada

2) Messages From The Body Their Psychological Meaning...... Michael J. Lincoln, PHD Copyright 1991 2006Revised Talking Hearts Published by Talking Hearts USA

3) Heal Your Body...... Louise L. Hay Copyright 1982 Hay House, Santa Monica, CA.

Summation

Healing these inner lies we have programmed ourselves to call truths is the greatest challenge in life. It is what we came here to do, to learn compassion for ourselves first. Our bodies give us a perfect mirror. Through dis-ease. we can find ease......yes, even for me.

My gratitude as I take this journey, and as you take this journey with me. It is not easy, it has started with the first step of recognition. One step at a time, I do it for me......because I am worthy and valuable. Do it for you because you are worthy and valuable too. No one can take this journey for me, I have to take it for myself. Encouragement means nothing until I believe it is true for me and you believe it is true for you. Convincing the sub-conscious to change the belief pattern.

Access the references I have listed as there is much more detail on how to re-frame and heal into wellness whether the dis-order is thyroid or any other myriad of mirrors our bodies and the world around us reflect back for us.

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Comments 47 comments

Universal Laws profile image

Universal Laws 6 years ago from UNIVERSE

There is such a feeling of freedom in this piece, sounds and feels like you have done all the hard work and are now strengthening up.

Thank you for sharing your journey, your surrender.

Namaste


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Universal Laws,

I hope that you are right. My emotions do not yet match that feeling though. Very interesting you used the one word that came to mind I did not use....my surrender...that is truly what this journey is. Thank You, Thank you, Thank You...Love, Light and Blessings


JagranKiran 6 years ago

wow, thank you for writing that, i have to share it with a friend of mine, i think it will make so much sense to her, and it makes so much sense to me too, what an insight. much love.


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

JagranKiran,

What a good friend you are, please share, this is a simple...hard lesson. Much love and light to you as well..Thank You! We inspire one another...Sue


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

Sue: Wow, you have courage to go through this journey and I congratulate you for being honest with yourself. I get the sense, (have little chills), that you will come out of this truly empowered and in a wonderful place. Its not feel good words I am writing here, its a feeling I get because you have the spiritual awareness and a very good mind, and willingness to face your demons and heal. We all have issues, fears, past experiences, etc to heal, the difference is in being willing to admit and face it, if we don't our body has a way of bringing it to our attention with dis-ease or emotional issues, we can't run away from ourselves. I developed an emotional issue, yes me, the source of calm and strengh for others after the passing of my nephew. I suppressed my feelings in order to help my sis cope, and my body brought it to my attention. I am healing and I am grateful. I am grateful I am aware, and grateful for the community of friends I have such as you that keeps my focus high.

Thanks for sharing this, it encourages my own continuing journey of growth.


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Marie: How even to respond.....You are such a fountain of inspiration yourself. I know too that this is the road to a beautiful place no matter how rocky the terrain is right now. I truly believe we do it together, as one heals the trail has been blazed. This is most likely my hardest leg of my journey, the demons inside, not the ones we can see coming. Thank you for sharing that part of you that is healing, we are all a source of strength to one another. Those of us who are the most calm and provide strength are not invinsible or "above", our demons are different. So glad you found encouragement, I am really working being my own cheerleader....so cheer you on too. You too are very spiritually aware. I throw my gratitude seeds out with yours, we can all grow a gratitude flower garden together. Bless you it is an honour to know you!


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

Great Emohealer... hello from ex-hyperthyroid one with the same story as yours. I am for years in the constant process of change, attitudes need to change step by step.

I noticed for first time depth of my problem many years ago, in my dream, when astral projection suddenly occurred and I saw the creature, looked like yoga-teacher who told me: "at the and you will never succeed, you will failed".

This creature was product of my own negative belives and emotions.

It helped me a lot when I calmed down the thyroid and finally healed it - my emotions became much more positive. The rest is - process...still need to work on it altough I harmonized many aspects of my own life.

Love and Hugs, I do believe in you.

I wish you success, you will make it!


Kim Garcia 6 years ago

Wow Susan, your story is powerful and resonates healing, mind, body and spirit!! I'm so thankful you posted as it will be such a testimony to those who may be experiencing similar symptoms, feelings, and emotions. I love you for this, as I believe too it may help me as well. I'm in the process of getting some blood work back that was to test for my thyroid. My brother suffers with thyroid issues, and lately, well...for about the past six months have been experiencing severe hormonal imbalances, but thought is was due to perimenopause until my doctor said it sounded to her more like a thyroid condition. I hope not....but your Hub came at the perfect time in case this is what may be discovered. Peace and love to you!! God Bless and will continue to pray!! ~K


Universal Laws profile image

Universal Laws 6 years ago from UNIVERSE

The vulnerbility you feel is because the e-motions - energy in motion really wants to put back the scafolding and hide your authentic self again.

Reminding you of what you know - the emotions are not who we really are but are our judgement on our feelings from the shadow self. As we become more authentic (the thyroid governs how we speak our real truth from the authentic self) then our real self becomes stronger. There is a great Bach Flower Esssence called century which helps this process.

Congratulations


Laurel Oakes profile image

Laurel Oakes 6 years ago

I cried with you and I'll smile with you when your ready. I have been there.


CMHypno profile image

CMHypno 6 years ago from Other Side of the Sun

Great, insightful Hub as always emohealer! Great to have you back writing Hubs again. Self love is so hard, and I'm sure that if we loved ourselves more we would find it easier to be nice to each other.

As I say to my hypnotherapy weight loss clients, don't eat a bar of chocolate because you're worth it, choose not to eat a bar of chocolate because you are worth it and you will find that you feel so much better for so much longer.


ethel smith profile image

ethel smith 6 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

All too familiar for me I am afraid to say. Good luck


Jen's Solitude profile image

Jen's Solitude 6 years ago from Delaware

Hi Sue! It is mighty good to see you back, but so sorry to read about your thyroid storm. Isn't it funny how being ill makes us deal with so much more than our physical ailments. I'm glad you have the courage to commit to healing in all ways and I'm sure as you continue to reaffirm your worthiness, you will achieve your goal to ever higher levels.

While there certainly is more happiness in giving to others than in receiving from others, we must be balanced and learn to give to ourselves as well.

I think you are a wonderful person who should receive compliments from herself on a regular basis. Of course that means you will have to accept them as well. ;-)

Missed you and glad you are back, Sue

Your friend,

Dar


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Tatjana,

ex-hyperthyroid, I really like that, the light at the end of the tunnel. How nice to have had the manifestation in an astral dream experience rather than a journey fully awake. Some of us listen in different ways, how good for you to have seen in that less intense manner. Most beautiful is that you saw the message and began the healing process.

Best of wishes as you continut this journey of self acctualization, thank you for joining in mine as well. I am ready now to begin accepting the encouragement and I am indeed grateful for it. Bless you too, one who gives it is said recieves ten fold, may it be so for you.

WE will make it!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 6 years ago from Southern California

Dear Imohealer, judging from the comments, your story is hitting raw nerves and couldn't have come at a better time. I applaud you for sharing your experience, for I believe it has and will help numerous fans and more. When we were young my brother suffered with this, and research into it was so limited, how I wish we'd had an article such as this. Thanks again for the courage to write this. And welcome back, we'll be cheering for you.


Legacy Wellness profile image

Legacy Wellness 6 years ago from Katy, Texas

Emohealer,

Good hub. Thanks for sharing your experience. It will help work a healing in other with similar issues. My desire for you is found in 3 John 2:1


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

To All:

I will reply to all of you individually because each of you has taken a special moment in your time to share that unique part of you. First, I must say I am experiencing tears...they are of joy, healing is happening, the emotions still runs strong and rampant.....YEAH! I Love ALL of you and feel sommething so much deeper inside of me I don't remember feeling before, a very nice something! I AM Worthy as are each and everyone of you....To All!


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Kim, my friend:

As always heartfelt loving espression. Our bodies truly do send us signs and signals.....I am sure mine sent me more subtle messages along the way, well like the verizon commercial this time it said..."Can You hear Me Now?" I can have all of my excuses in order, in fact I have had for all of the softer signs and signals.

Your brothers and your body are sending you messages to you, subtly for now, the messsage is the same as mine. You Love, You Give incessantly, one of the most giving people I have met. Can I say rather than giving self-lessly, try my new technique, give self-fully. Give something to that wonderful woman Kim everyday...often and do it with the same intensity you give away to the world.

Thank you for the prayers and the blessings, I have been receiving them and they have been speeding re-covery more than even I know. Bless you, shine brightly!


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Universal Laws:

You are an old wise soul! You reach even into the treasure chest of the gifts you know I recognize so well. The governing principle within the thyroid is precisely as you stated, situated around our vocal chords, dead in the center of the throat chakra. These false truths have been so much a part of my life, I do feel them trying to protect themselves and justify (judge) trying to maintain their existence.

I really appreciate the Bach flower essence tip, will look into that quickly.I bow my head in humility to your congratulating, this is indeed humbling...as you stated earlier...surrender! I can see your star where I could not see before, keep shining so brightly so others may see the way of light before them. Blessings, Love and Light!


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Laurel Oakes:

Tears cried together create a pool to sparkle in the light of day. As you cried you released a part of you that no longer served you and healed a part of you that resonated with that part of me and my experience. Both of our souls can smile now and I do invite you to smile with me now and share the gratitude for the healing and the powerful seeds planted within us that connect our souls to heal and experience wellness together. Bless you as well, you shared that part of you that is most vulnerable. Love and Light combined with a huge serving of Gratitude!


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

CMHypno:

What a pleasure to be back, you are one of the delightful people I have been missing here. Other writings were what I had in mind, I have started a few...how much more apt to share a journey from the mirror of the dark night of the soul (Gregg Braden), where the deepest lessons of our life come from.

So true about self love and the world at large. If we were all nice to ourselves we would not have the capacity to harm another in any way. Great work you do as a hypnotherapist bringing opportunities for others to see inside their sub-conscious and to communicate with it directly with intention, I am sure you have seen many "miracles" in your time. Thank you for the warm welcome back, bless you as you bless others, for indeed that is what you do. Love and Light!


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

ethel smith:

How nice to see you again as well! I see these words and experiences resonate for you. Post up those post its, let yourself in,,,,You Are Worthy! It is for you! Your time is Now whatever moment in Now you let it begin! It will never matter how many others see it, until you do it falls on deaf ears and blind eyes. I have been deaf, but now know I can hear...I have been blind...but now I know I can see. Believe one thing, as scary as I have always thought it would be to see and hear, this journey showed me the true terror I have lived my life in, not even knowing my eyes were closed. Believe in you...Love you...you are worthy!


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Jens Solitude:

Dar,

So good to see you again my friend! I have missed you too, I find you so very inspiring! So beautiful and simply put, something tells me you know how to give yourself wonderful gifts. You love the you, you are because you know what a beautiful gift you are and what a beautiful gift this life is.

What a good point you make, not just giving myself the compliments, but accepting them.......Wow! Bless you my friend Dar, so glad to be back!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi Sue, now I understand. When you were "gone"...I could feel you--the pain and the feeling of exhaustion, the feelings of unworthiness. My friend Daisy (Hubber Dayzeebee) wondered who I was "sensing" this time. It must have been why I was prodded to email you during that time. God is really good indeed. I am blessed by your sharing here and all the other times we have connected. As I recognized your pain, I recognized those pain within me too.

Now, I continue to send you loving and healing love...for saying Yes to Life, for saying Yes to Loving Yourself! I am so happy for you and keep on my dear friend...keep on! Blessings and light...


cindyvine profile image

cindyvine 6 years ago from Kyiv, Ukraine

Thyroids are so important, it controls so much that makes who we are. I had my thyroid completely removed in 2006. Only now do I realise what an important role it played. Which reminds me, off to the pharmacy to get more thyroxine!


ralwus 6 years ago

I'm glad you are on the road to recovery and learning of your own self worth. I too had a thyroid storm a few years ago and my wife wanted to kill me, I hated myself until I got to a great Endocrinologist who took care of me and got my imbalances back in order. Good luck now. Peace and love, CC

btw ripplemaker sent me.


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi CC, glad you followed this link! Hugs... :)


carriegoff profile image

carriegoff 6 years ago from Michigan

Very interesting hub! I never looked at thyroid quite this way. For about 5 years I was increasingly tired and depressed until I couldn't drive 5 miles without falling asleep at the wheel. My doctor shrugged and kept throwing antidepressants at me. I finally decided I was worth saving and researched and stopped listening to people who told me I was "tired on purpose". I found a great endocrinologist and told him, "I know it's my thyroid. Prove me wrong." He didn't and my two year recovery began. I threw away the antidepressants, went to a counsellor and started fixing from the inside out. 3 years later and I've lost 30 pounds and am starting a new career as lifeguard and swimming teacher. There is hope. There is a road out of dispair. Whether your problem is thyroid or something else, don't stop until you find the answer.

Hugs and well wishes to all.

Carrie www.thereusesite.com


funride profile image

funride 6 years ago from Portugal

Michelle (Ripplemaker) really knows how to help/heal her friends, and I know what I´m talking about ;)

To Sue (Emohealer), who I just met, I wish you a complete recovery and a future full of love and health. Your testimony made me realize what people go through while suffering from thyroid changes and I thank you for that because this way I can better understand some of my patients problems.


steven 6 years ago

Thanks so much for sharing.


cr8ve1 profile image

cr8ve1 6 years ago

That was said so beautifully! Thanks for sharing this! WONDERFUL article!


cr8ve1 profile image

cr8ve1 6 years ago

I need to start LIKING me again!


Tatjana-Mihaela profile image

Tatjana-Mihaela 6 years ago from Zadar, CROATIA

BTW, it is so easy to heal it on natural ways... Check my Hub about this topic.


singingmommy profile image

singingmommy 6 years ago from OKLAHOMA

Wow! Great hub! I too have been through the same storm recently I was so weak at times sleep was about all I could do. God has done wonders through me as I begin trying to help myself think possitive and live out loud. I had a calling in my life and when I started taking chances, blind steps of faith the healing begin. I have had no recent symptems and I will soon persue my dreams. Finding purpose can be a stormy journey, some die trying, but the search is over, you have a purpose, you just need to take it by the hand and walk through the open door. Dream Big! Believe Bigger!


SweetiePie profile image

SweetiePie 6 years ago from Southern California, USA

Found your touching story over of Michelle's Facebook group! I am glad you overcame the thyroid storm because everyone deserves to feel good in life!


myhomebusiness profile image

myhomebusiness 6 years ago from Wells, NV

I can relate with you. I have been through this storm, of unworthiness, helplessness, sadness and never knowing why or how to get out.

It all changed when I could no longer continue and found a physician that actually listened without judging and wanting to put me on depression meds. Not a place I wanted to go.

It turned out that I had the right lobe of my thyroid removed and a parathyroid removed. Yes, I also had a wacky parathyroid that was destroying my kidneys and bones as well.

It has been five years and life is really good. Funny though, with all the years of self-doubt, those thoughts sometimes still creep in. I can control that though and I am a wonderful person.

The thyroid controls so much of our lives and should always be looked into when signs of depression and exhaustion start to take over your life. It is a simple blood test and a good doctor to help you through.


VioletSun profile image

VioletSun 6 years ago from Oregon/ Name: Marie

I just remembered my late Mother had thyroid problems, had to take an experimental drug- wow, poor Mom, we were young teenagers and did not realize what she was going through. This does not seem to be a rare condition, so thanks again for sharing this story. By the way, Tajtana has excellent hubs on healing, even my sister who is not a hubber reads the hubs I send to her and is impressed by her energy and knowledge. She is truly a healer who walks her talk. I feel very blessed to connect to you all, truly.


Truth From Truth profile image

Truth From Truth 6 years ago from Michigan

Im sorry you had to go through that, good hub, Thanks for sharing.


ralwus 6 years ago

My thyroid went nuts back in 2002 from too much iodine in the many CT\Scans I had that was in the contrast they used. I was terrible and hated myself and everyone else too. A great Endocrinologist took care of the problem pronto after it sent me into my third heart failure. It's amazing how that thing can affect your moods. Now that we know the problem, they take good measures to treat me with gentle care. good luck on your new journey. Great hub. Peace and love and Merry Christmas. CC


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

ralwus,

Thank You as you have shared your journey from 2 different angles and perspectives. I am so glad that you are healing and still here with us. Fortunatley I was able to avoid the heart failure which amazed even the doctors. How this little gland affects our moods is amazing indeed, I never knew any of these things.

I appreciate your time as you shared here and as you become a friend. Love and Light to you, may you continue to enJOY great health and emotions. Bless you and Merry Christmas!


Ariztokat profile image

Ariztokat 6 years ago from AZ

Wow! You speak my language, Sue! The whole "unworthy" thing has tormented me all my life. You would not believe the mountain of guilt I carry with me through my days and nights. It is reassuring to find that I'm not the only one who has suffered this. Thank you so much for sharing parts of your journey. :)

I am wondering if what my doctors have diagnosed as BiPolarII is being caused by a thyroid gland malfunction? Is there a way to find that out? They did thyroid panels on me about 4 times. All of them came up pretty much within normal range.

I really appreciate that you have shared this Hub. I went through the lowest low of my life almost a year ago. At times I can't believe I'm really still here. I was ready to be done. The medication my doctors have perscribed for me seems to be working. At least I'm not feeling suicidal anymore, if that means anything.

May I ask if you are taking medication for your thyroid condition? It wasn't clear to me how you fought your way back, really; but I'm very glad you did and are doing so, because I think I needed to read this tonight. I was starting to "fuss" myself about it. So... Thank you!

Kat


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Ariztokat, Thank you for letting me know how this resonated for you, I hope you were also able to find solace in the opportunity to make a shift and speak a new language of renewed and resounding self love.

In answer to Bi-Polar or Thyroid, technology is not what we would like it to be. Until the parameters are way out as in my case, you are considered "within range" even if it is way to the ends of either side of "the range". Even though they knew mine was a thyroid storm for the extreme effects that it had they attempted to treat me with bi-polar medication. It is very likely that a huge majority of "bi-polar" are experiencing thyroid or in truth lack of self worth. Medications are symptomatic treatment. If this keeps us from suicide as you are saying and as I felt, this is not a "bad" thing.

I wrote this hub at the onset so this is still a new experience for me. I refused the medication for bi-polar and have as yet to be seen for medical treatment of the thyroid. I still experience dips in my emotional well being and days of despair although not anywhere near this extreme. Being aware is a huge step of treatment in and of itself. The affirmations all around my home, on the mirrors, the fridge, the computer area and more are starting to make a difference. It requires allowing for the possiblity that you are good enough and worthy, then cultivating and growing the seeds of possiblity into reality. It can be done. Fussing yourself is okay, but always follow with congratulating yourself, complimenting yourself. Little things do count and little things do matter, give yourself encouragement. Step by step we can all step out of "not good enough" into "Good Enough". We are all worthy just by our mere existence, cut yourslef soome slack, ease up on your judgements, assessments and comparisions. Love You, You ARE worthy! I know this to be true about you as well as myself. I send my Love and Light to help with your JOurneY into Love, Joy and Worthiness! Yes You Are and Yes You Can! Sue


Kat 6 years ago

Thank you, darlin'. I appreciate that you have answered me in both of the hubs I posted to. You are a blessed woman of Love and Light. Thank you for being here. I wish you Joy and Peace in return. :)


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Kat, you are so welcome, just felt like you asked with sincerity and hoped to be of some asistance. Glad to know you found it useful! Thank You for the gifts you have sent in return...Much Blessings!


Teresa Laurente profile image

Teresa Laurente 6 years ago from San Antonio, Texas, U.S.A.

This too is the journey I took. Great hub. Very refreshing.


emohealer profile image

emohealer 6 years ago from South Carolina Author

Thank you so much Teresa! it seems this has been the journey for many, I hope that this hub will reach many before they take the journey and re-shape their lives without this experience. So glad you found it refreshing and hope your discovery of your wonderful self has taken you as many bright places as it is taking me!


aslanlight profile image

aslanlight 5 years ago from England

This rings true for me. I was abused so somewhere inside myself I told myself I must be worthy of abuse and I built a wall. Now I'm trying to knock it down and I'll take your advice with me. Thanks!

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