Men, Women and Christmas Trees

There are many things that mark the differences between men and women. None so funny as our approach to decorating the Christmas tree.

The first time she asked me to put the lights on the tree was the end of a short career. It seemed a simple enough task. Pull the tree away from the corner, grab the end of the lighted strand, run around the tree a few times and throw the remaining few feet as high as you can. This feat was accomplished in all of 47 seconds. Bare in mind, men feel a sense of success, relative to the time involved, when it comes to doing anything.That is why road trips do not include potty breaks or food stops. The time it takes to do something is monumental to men. Men do not have time for time.

My 47 second success story was met with "the look". You know the one. Its the, I'm disappointed, irritated, aggravated and your an idiot, all rolled into one look. Why they say men and women have trouble communicating is beyond me, because "the look" will tell you more in two seconds than a marriage counselor tells you in two weeks.

Well to remedy my dismal failure, which came dangerously close to ruining Christmas, I was sent to the couch while she recited the infamous "I'll do it myself". Five hours later the lights were all hung with the same care employed by someone disarming a nuclear bomb. How did I know that each one of the four hundred and fifty, itty, bitty, little lights had an appointed branch. How did I know that the very spirit of Christmas was dictated by where little, itty, bitty, lights were placed?

Women don't just put lights on the tree, they place them, delicately as though they were tucking children into bed. Putting lights on the tree isn't a task, its an event. You need the accompanying holiday music. You need the aroma of holiday candles flickering from every nook and cranny. You need the fragrance of Christmas emanating throughout the Christmas castle.You need hot chocolate in every body's lap, even if they don't like hot chocolate.

I've learned a lot, watching my wife decorate the tree. I've learned that simple things, made into events, build tradition that my children have carried into their own lives. My son in law called today. He said he had been watching my daughter decorate the tree for five hours. She said that she didn't need any help. He was sitting on the couch listening to Christmas music and drinking hot chocolate. I couldn't help but laugh a little. I knew, somewhere throughout the day, he had met "the look," that their marriage was well and that tradition was safe for another generation..