Raising the Walking Dead For The Hell Of It

A users guide to Zombies

Halloween is coming and a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of the living dead. Part of the charm of the first zombie flick that I came across was it was done in black and white. And when I first saw a zombie flick I did not know what was going on. Some funny old nasty looking person shambling around. Easily avoided what ever he was.

Generally speaking, zombies do not inflict much fear in single numbers. A child could figure out how to trap or avoid one. What makes zombies scary is that they come in such large and relentless numbers and that they can make new recruits by killing the good guys.

My favorite zombie flick had some humor in it. An old man and a young dude are fooling around with some old Army equipment of unknown age or purpose and suddenly they are exposed to a horrible gas that reanimates the dead and zombifies the living.

The oddest zombies where the domesticated ones that did household chores and cut the lawn. I don't know. I still wouldn't give a weed whacker to one of the living dead.

Comments 4 comments

colorfulone profile image

colorfulone 20 months ago from Minnesota

I watched the series of Walking Dead, it was addicting.

I was surprised at how well a show like that was produced.


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 20 months ago Author

Hello Susie. Some used to say you can never find a zombie when you need one. Now everyone can see dead people whenever they want!


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 19 months ago from Houston, Texas

Somehow I have never gotten interested in watching all of those zombie movies with the gory and bloodied faces. Now...if they would do household chores and do lawn and garden maintenance...I just might change my mind and invite them into our daily lives. Ha Ha!


poetryman6969 profile image

poetryman6969 19 months ago Author

Good to see you Peggy! I have a vague recollection of house broken zombies mowing lawns in a vignette on one of those old horror shows. I just did a quick Google search and saw something that said "Lawn of the Dead" but that might just be a joke.

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    Bowling for Zombies

    Zombies have a built-in disadvantage. Unlike vampires or even werewolves, putrefaction, decay, losing limbs now and again are built in. It's hard to have a sexy zombie.

    I remember one zombie flick where they had humans having relationships with zombies or even staying in love with someone after they became zombified. But let's face it. It's necrophilia and it's disgusting. Folks think it's okay to date the undead as in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, but few wish to discover the charms of the living dead. Can't get past the stink I imagine.

    Did you ever notice how angry everyone seems to be when they are brought back from the dead? The resurrected from Pet Cemetery seemed hell bent on making the living pay for messing with the dead.

    Creative Uses for Zombies

    What is most creative thing you can do with a zombie?

    • Vote one into high political office. Several times.
    • Marry one.
    • Divorce one.
    • Work for one.
    • Fire one.
    • Use them as a door stop.
    • Use them for skeet shooting. PULL!
    • Use them as crocodile chow.
    • Regift that zombie you got last year to a neighbor you don't like.
    • If you are a farmer, tell them the brains are out in the north 40. Be sure to search everywhere!
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