Santa, We Need More Time!
Letter to Santa
We are sending this letter to you in the hope that you will consider changing your plans a little this Christmas.
We are not usually so forward but we happen to know that we two sisters are not the only people that feel this way. In fact, we have been appointed (in absentia) as our neighbourhood's spokespeople. It has fallen upon us to contact you regarding the date issue.
We'll put it bluntly, Santa. We need more time! Not much, just a few days or a week at the very most.
Contrary to popular belief, not everyone in the world is as organized and on top of things as those fancy shamancy magazines would lead you to believe. In fact, the people in our neighbourhood have a real life that is just a wee bit different than those pages portray.
Don't be misled by those "Countdown to a Perfect Christmas" articles, Santa. The pictures are beautiful, the words persuasive, but perfection is just not possible for us mere mortals. At least, not in the time frame you've given us. Those columns are like motivational speakers. They make you think you can do it at the time, but once reality sets back in, you're sunk.
For example, the gingerbread house featured as the centrefold will never look like the photo. At least not in the one quick hour they claim it takes. You don't know that the first time you try because the first paragraph of the instructions indicates that any dummy should be able to do it. So, you start out full of resolve and promise and end up wishing that you had used the time to finish your shopping instead because now you are behind schedule with nothing pretty to show for it. We've checked with the other people on our street and none of them could do it either, but with a bit more time to practice, maybe....?
Did you know that Wonder Woman Weekly claims that if you delegate a lot of the things you have to do to other family members, you'll be rolling in spare moments? What planet are these people from? Do they have teenagers there?
This publication also suggests baking ahead for the holidays. Whoever writes these things cannot possibly have children. Everybody knows that if you bake five dozen sugar cookies, they eat five dozen sugar cookies. In one sitting. My sister and I thought maybe it was just our households but according to a survey of the neighbours, it's standard behaviour. You can see, can't you, that a few days' extension would allow us to bake at the last moment because we would have a chance to get everything else done first.
Which brings up another valid point for moving Christmas back a little. The stores are so crowded at this time of year! A few extra shopping days would undoubtedly help clear the congestion, letting us finish this chore in short order before moving on to the next on our to-do list. You want us all to have a more relaxed holiday season, don't you?
We certainly would enjoy it more if all the gift wrapping were done before midnight on Christmas Eve, too. We don't think we have to tell you that we're still driving at the same point here.
We'll stop harping at you now. All the folks on our street want you to know that we'll still love you regardless of your decision. In fact, we are including a Christmas present for you in this package. We're really sorry the watch is just in a plastic bag, but with all the details to attend to this time of year, we weren't able to fit in anything better and still make the mail in time. By the way, please refer to December on the calendar we are sending you. You will note our preferred Christmas date for next year.
If you would like to respond to this letter by mail, please do so at the return address on the envelope. Neither we, nor any of our neighbours have fax machines or email in our homes (you might keep this in mind when making up your gift list). If you would rather, you can slip an answer into one of our stockings. Whoever gets it will pass the word along.
Take care, Santa. Hope to hear from you soon.
Shirley Anderson & Jean Kratz
Letter to Santa
More by this Author
You thought that the holidays ended with the New Year? No, no! There are still some pretty bizarre holidays to celebrate in January. The party's just getting started. This is the place to find out what holiday...
Bet you always wondered how to make a zombie. Well, you're in luck because this hub has the recipe. Although the subject matter is treated somewhat tongue-in-cheek, these are the authentic instructions.
- EDITOR'S CHOICE12
Home Refinancing for Dummies is a guide for people like me who don't understand mortgages, home equity loans and the like. This hub is short, sweet and put in simple terms that helps even me to understand some of the...