How to heal after you have been cheated on

There are several stages in every experiences specially bad or traumatic experiences like the experience of having been cheated upon. According to psychologists the first stage is the denial stage where you cant accept and you are in a stage of disbelief. Then you start to panic, don’t know what to do stage, feeling of anxiety is common, then you grief there is a feeling of losing something, you are in a world where there is misery you keep on crying and you don’t have motivation to do anything, cannot eat, cannot do task or go to work. Then you have guilt, you blame yourself. I think this stage is good because you start to evaluate things, what went wrong etc. This times you need to be around people who really cares about you, sometimes you feel depressed, and then next stage is anger, you are angry at the world at yourself or your partner who cheated on you.

But what the heck? We all need to move on whether we choose to be with the cheating partner or moving alone, it is a choice for us to make. Life is not perfect anyway, as long as you tried your best, you don’t need to blame yourself. We cant hold our partners feelings and we are responsible with our own action, not theirs. Life is a learning process and we don’t need to dwell on it. When its time to move on, we gather our senses and we take the experience as a lesson in life, and we laugh at it. Sometimes this is better said than done, but still we just have to forget about what happened. Sometimes also, time heals all the wounds they say, but for others it takes time. We are really the one who can make our agony shorter. Next time around, we become really wiser.

Acceptance

Acceptance is hard but you have to move on. You are not the only victim of a cheating partner. Infidelity is the leading cause of divorce in the western world. As I have said as long as you did your best, then it is not your fault anymore, even if a relationship is perfect, other people still cheat, reasons maybe varied. Why is it easier to accept? because if you cant accept that it happens to you, it will just be forever in your mind and it will destroy you physically and emotionally eventually. Even the most beautiful people in the world have been cheated upon. Men and women are just born insatiable, they always look for greener pasture or just sometimes they just don’t know what they are looking for.

Full forgiveness without always reminding them of what they did

You ask yourself, Can I forgive him/her? Cheating is never justified, yes it can put strain in a relationship, sometimes you can never recover anymore, but once you forgave the person who did that to you, there is no turning back and you have to move forward not constantly reminding them of what they did. It gives you peace of mind when you forgive them. It is easier for you to forgive because it will help you in the healing process. The key here is to love yourself, don’t be hard on yourself. It can happen to anybody. Depending on your partner, he/she can help you heal.

Moving on

Once you accept the apology of your partner, moving on is a must, if you cant forget and forgive then you must also move on and be ready to face the consequences. It will take time, maybe even faster but everybody needs to move on. It is a process in a thing called life. Things are not always what we expect it to be, so happy are those who haven’t experience it, otherwise you should live by it. We can emerge a better person after all what we have been through.

Continuously working on it

For some, they do counseling, willingness to change for both you and the partner. Some men have difficulty with counseling, it comes with the concept that they are seeking help. There is a tendency for men to think that they can do it on their own, all emotions are bottled up inside of them, and they are not ready to share whatever is in their hearts and mind, and to talk it with somebody else. It is a sign of weakness for them, this is what the expectation of the society, and that’s the way they were raised. But they should come out of that, you need to help each other.

Once you decided to move on anyway, there is always the objective of moving forward and consistency on your part and your partner.

Since your partner committed an act of infidelity he she must support you in the healing process. The objective is moving away from the experience and always emerging as a better person. Take this as a lesson and one stage in life.

Surround yourself with happy people and activities

Better be surrounded with people who support and care for you while you are on denial stage, then finally acceptance the realization that you need to move forward and you cant be bitter forever. Choose people who have positive attitudes during these times. Watch movies or television which makes you laugh. Engage in happy activities.

Relax, rest, eat nutritious and balanced food

This is obvious in order for you to remain healthy, even if you are feeling depressed or sad, just take time to take care of yourself. Have some good sleep, and eat nutritious foods. Avoid cigarette smoking, alcohol intake because it will add up to depression.