10 Signs that the Man is a Keeper
82This man is NOT a Keeper!
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Should he GO or should he STAY?
You've been seeing this guy for a couple of months. Things seem to be hotting up between the two of you. He might just be THE ONE. However, when you go to sleep at night, instead of dreaming about naked handsome hunks jumping over the style with their dingle dangles swinging from side to side like a young girl's ponytail when she's jogging around the block, you keep analysing your relationship. Is he right for you? Maybe there's someone better? Should I go for an exclusive relationship? Oh my God, should I let him move in with me? These questions go round and round in your head like a moth around a candle flame, until you're going so crazy, that you throw off your covers and run outside into the garden and howl at the moon like a rabid wolf. Of course, the neighbours turn on their lights, gather on their doorsteps and spot you in your garden, naked as the day you were born. All this is not good. Your grandmother would not be proud of you at this time.
Rather than dithering over your relationship, unsure which way to go, here are the top 10 signs that your man is a keeper. If you can tick them off on his scorecard, quickly head down to the nearest S & M outlet and buy a pair of handcuffs. You can't afford to miss out on this one.
- More or less truthful. If the guy is basically honest and does make a concerted effort to tell the truth, he's probably worth keeping. If you ask him how you look, when you've poured yourself into last year's jeans that are possible two sizes too small, and he says you look great, he's a keeper! Guys worth keeping know when to tell the truth and when to lie. It's a sign that they are intelligent.
- Gainfully employed. If he has a real job and earns a good enough salary, he's worth hanging on to. Of course, if he works for Alfonzo, the neighborhood drug dealer and pimp, even though he is employed and might earn a lot of sheckels, it's not gainful employment. You might have to learn how to bake a cake with a file in it. Guys in jail don't usually earn a good salary. If his only employment is mowing his Granny's lawn twice a month, dump him.
- Chivalrous. If he's respectful, well-mannered, polite and opens your door for you and stands aside to let you through first, he's got class and comes from a good family. If he talks nicely to your folks, and speaks with respect to his folks, chances are he'll treat you with respect as well. If he orders his mother around, shouts at his Dad, and swears at incompetent drivers on the road, give him his marching orders.
- Loves all of you. If he loves your curves, never tells you to lose weight, doesn't make negative comments about your appearance, fetches you the glass of water to put your false teeth in at night, then he's a keeper.
- Ex-girlfriend. If he never compares you to his ex-girlfriend, and never regales you with stories about what his ex-girlfriend did that was so good and better than you, then he's probably over her and you are so great, there's no comparison.
- Initiative. If he shows initiative and makes you a cup of coffee when you need one, without you having to ask for it, that's a very good sign. If he takes the dirty plates to the kitchen, and washes them without you dropping any subtle hints, get a dog collar and chain, and keep him tethered to the outside of the house. Make sure he does have access to the inside of the house as well. Of course, if he puts the toilet seat down without being asked to, then you need to book a wedding date. marriage to this man is a must.
- Laugh together. If he has a great sense of humour and can make you laugh, that is a brilliant start. Laughing together is very important and can make your relationship a lot of fun. Of course, there is a difference between laughing with you and laughing at you. If he has a tendency to laugh at you, then have your neighbour's rottweiler show him to his car.
- Keeps promises. If he keeps appointments and keeps promises, he's a keeper. If he remembers what he promised in the heat of the moment, then he's worth considering. If he goes beyond and above the call of duty to carry out a promise, then book yourself into the nearest mental hospital if you let him go.
- Gets on with your friends. If he enjoys your friends' company, I mean really enjoys their company, with no pretence of enjoying hanging out with them, then he's the real deal. There is nothing worse than being with someone who always finds excuses not to hang out with you and your friends. Of course, if he showers too much attention on your hottie friends and ignores your nottie friends, then it's probably better to let him go.
- Feelings. If he can talk about his feelings, shows emotion during movies then he's worth keeping. If he sobs uncontrollably during a chick flick, it's either a put on to make you believe he's sensitive, or he's overly sensitive, either way, show him the door.
If the guy is strong in a few areas and weak in others, you have to decide what it is you can live with and what will annoy and irritate the shit out of you. There are very few keepers around, and when you find one, don't let him go. Many women are attracted to men who are bastards and who treat them badly. Short-term they're a thrill. Long-term they're a nightmare. If you are with a good man who is good to you, don't inadvertently spoil it and chase him away. Overcome your self-esteem issues and believe that a decent man wants to be with you.
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Comments
Yeah Jodi, I like writing self-help/relationship advice! Have done quite a bit on here and wrote a self-help book on relationships as well. Not that I'm a fine one to talk as I'm not even in a relationship myself!
YES! I qualify!
So Dohn, you reckon you're a keeper? Well, I might have to start a dating site!
I love this, Cindy, it is so funny and pretty damned right on the money. But, what about sex? You never mentioned it
And this man is ... where? I'm leaving my porch light on!
Great list, Cindy! But I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing Mr. Happy Snotnose at the top of your hub. This hub should have come with a warning!
I'm no keeper: Failed that one about too much attention to the hottie friends and not enough to the notties!! I'm still laughing - what a great hub, Cindy!
I think I'm getting the hang of this. If she's wearing jeans 2 sizes too small, she looks great. But if the girl next door is doing the same thing, that girl is getting fat. :) Working on the other 9 points, though.
I was taking a bit of potato salad when this hub first opened.. not what you want to see with a mouth full of food.
omg that picture was disgusting, let me ease my way back up and read, I think I could probably allow 7 out of 10. Dry spell lately.
dori
Excellent, Cindy!
Ha,ha! Only whipped, spineless, slave-dogs need apply! lol
Alekhouse, OMIGOD! I forgot about sex!
Candie, hope you didn't mess your potato salad too much!
KCC, yeah think that guy is Pest's neighbour at his trailer park.
Jaspal, well, you past the honesty test for admitting you check out the hotties, so that's something!
Wandererh, you are a fast learner boy!
Dori, yeah it is a fascinating pic! I love it! lol
Thanks Tatjana!
Christoph, so are you applying? lolololol
Cindyvine, number 4, 6 and 10 can be strongly applied to me besides the others of course especially number 4... I like my woman the way she is (although she struggles to keep in shape and follow several diets) I always tell her: You just look great, and I really mean it. Thanks dear and wish me luck :)
Shamel, you sound like a dream man! Your lady is one lucky woman, and yeah, I do wish you luck my friend!
OK -- which parallel universe do these men call home, and how can I get there from here?
Well Teresa, some of the men who've commented say they are keepers! Stupid bloody bitch women all snap them up before we can get our hot little hands onto them!
Ain't that the truth, Cindy!
TERESA, WE NEED TO COME UP WITH A CUNNING PLAN - HOW TO GET RID OF THE KEEPER'S WOMAN!
Where did you get that photo from lol. Some sound advice here but I think that finding a man who fits into all the right traits is nigh on impossible.
That was a hilarious pic of the dirty man with a runny nose, no kidding not a keeper. Great hub Cindy.
Yeah Ethel, one can find strange things on the internet, including very ugly men! I agree, there's a fat chance of finding a man with all the traits, but some of them would be good.
Raven, yeah, wouldn't send my worst enemy to spend a night with that man!
Hurray! I got a keeper! Love your list.
Ivorwen, we are all officially jealous.
LOL! Keeper or not, he's still a man. :)
Cindy, Wonderful advise and I will come back to check this out when I have a need to! Thank you so much! Some day, I pray, I will be this wise!!! :D
Although Tom does occasionally cuss at an incompetent driver, and tends to let dishes stack up in the sink...I think I can excuse them, as he passes all the rest of the requirements with flying colors, lol!!!
Great hub--I love reading it! :)
BTW, when I met my boyfrined he was very promissing, considering your list. When we started to live together he forgott everything, so I just wanted to give up. But suddenly he started to improve his behaviour, that now he is fulfilling almost all requires of your 10 points ... so your wise and funny Hub came in just right time!
Thanks.
Of course only number 7 gave us energy to pass through the difficult times.
...............
Our dreams and wishes can come true....step by step.
Wishing you the best partner in your life as well, when you will be ready to ask universe for that.
I'm thinking of joining a dating service, may I use the photo?
That way I'll know that all repliers are bloody desperate, extremely forgiving, will immediately see my inner beauty, will love me for what I am, and when they see the real thing be so relieved that I may be in with a chance!
Love, TOF
Ivorwen, stop rubbing it in! lol
Kari, it is very easy to give advice to others, but oh so hard to use the advice and apply it to your own situations! Mind you, I am much better now! I do tend to do things very spontaneously. Act now, regret later.
Tamcor, Tom does strike me as a keeper! You are a very lucky woman as keepers are few and far between!
Tatjana, amd really happy you've met the right one and he's a keeper. Have to be honest, I'm not sure I ever want a partner again. My life is busy enough now as it is. Maybe, one day when my kids have all left the house. I have one kid left at home!
TOF, sure you can use that pic. I'm sure all the women on that wonderful dating site in the South Island, sheepshaggers.com would love a goodlooking man like that. Defnitely beats some of the inbred lot down there lol. Hey, you can always join NZdating.com. Man, are there whacky types on there!
This is a great hub! My man has some of these traits but the ones he doesn't have can be taught. He's thoughtful, honest, good to his family, and never not once has given into my poor me I'm so fat routine. He always tells me I'm beautiful and he loves evey inch of me. He is a keeper through and through even if I have to beg and plead with him to pick up after himself. ; )
Jenny, you are a very lucky woman! Look after him well!
Oh Cindy, I know so well what it is to "act now and regret later"! One of those things I am hoping to overcome, LOL! You do write the most interesting hubs! Thanks! :D
I'll have you know ms Vine that I am a Mainlander, and that I have never shagged a sheep. We are just good friends.
Thanks for the compliment Kari. I am a person who gets bored easily, which is probably why I write on so many diverse topics, to keep myself entertained! lol
Oh TOF, you must have a guilty conscience or something, as I never said you shagged sheep lol. Sheepshaggers.com is just a dating site from the South Island. I don't think you really date sheep! well, I hope not! I think it's the Greymouth lot down there who have mothers and sisters who are the same person.
My father was from Greymouth Ms Vine
Now, look what you've done Cindy, all the dead in Grey turned in their graves at the thought of your comments, and the resulting earthquake was international news. Ag called me to check that I was OK.
Naughty, Naughty.
Cindy, Here you go again! Have you ever considered becoming relationship counselor? It would seem I would be more fortunate in relationships if I had your handy how-to guides at the ready. I do love reading these, Cindy. Your talent for writing is indeed exceptional. Great job.
Another wonderful, funny hub. And my other half ticks all the boxes, so I'm right to hang on to him!
Another great hub - however, I can't say the same for the first picture...EWWWWWW - OMG! Almost hypnotic....gotta go find something hot to balance out my psyche LOL
I don't want to brag...but I will anyway lol I did get lucky and found a 10 :D - he even supplies the chocolate :P gotta love a man who does that...
TOF, am sure it was all the sheep shagging in the South Island that caused that earthquake! Hey, and you should never brag about having ancestors from Greynouth lol. Next thing, you'll say you grew up in Gore!
AIDY, thanks so much for your compliments. I'm thinking of starting a relationship website....but you know I'm old and all this technology...
LG, your man sounds truly good! Look after him well and treat him from time to time.
Enelle, have to be honest, I scroll down quickly to get to the comments so that I don't have to look at that pic! Look after that man Enelle, otherwise someone else will! lol
Apparently I'm a fixer-upper still in progress. :0)
holy cow batman!...where in heaven's did you find that photo? ...pretty funny! :o)
KOOL, ITS ICKY IN ONE WAY BUT KOOL IN ANOTHER
cindyvine is that you?
Hahaha just look at that drip...tis was really funny Cin. xox
Never settle for second best, done that, next time if there is a next time I intend to wake up happy everyday !
Excellent advice - even with that super gross picture!
Cindy, I wasn't bragging, it's a factual statement, nor have I ever heard of habitual in-breeding from around there. Other areas, yes; and I grew up firstly in a small Taranaki farming village, and later in a hydro construction town.
Cheers
Great Hub thanks for the advice. Guess I found a keeper!
Tom, you show all the signs of being a keeper. tell your wife to look harder and she'll find them. Don't think you're a work in progress!
Drumweaver and Koolfreak, it is a pretty cool pic, hey?
Williamblake, of course it's me! Who the hell did you think it was. Oh, are you talking about the pic?
BC, waking up happy every day is a good goal in life.
Laura, thanks for commenting! Glad you could find my hub helpful!
TOF, you become more and more interesting every day!
Katherine! Hang on to your man, girl, there are many looking for keepers!
Blonde, sorry for neglecting you, been hellishly busy!
These are all right on target! Especially the one on chivalry and ex-girlfriends. Now, the question is, where can we find such guys? :) They all seem to be taken!
I've been with a keeper for five and a half years now! =)
Celistina, that is the eternal question. Where do we find the keepers?
Charia, you're so lucky. can you ask your keeper if he has any friends like him? we have a waiting list here!
I love this hub Cindy! I've missed talking to you. It's been awhile. Hope you're doing well. Hugs
hmmm, Have a majority of these desired traits and no one to prove them unto. Oh well I'm sure I'll trip over someone soon.
Miss Jamie! Where have you been? I've definitely missed you! Howya doing?
1Anomaly, well, send me a pic and a short bio and I'm sure I can fix you up with someone who's looking!
Great advice for those who aspire to be "a keeper." :)
lol NT, is that a keeper of the keeper?
Interesting way of looking at a 10 like me Cindy!! What a great pity that I'm still single and haven't met a 10 woman yet!! The thought of being chained up outside is a bit of a worry.. and I note that you still haven't admitted mowing your lawns in the middle of the night; when you should be more attentive to the guy chained up outside, is also a worry. Of course you left out another important factor; that of having experience at being a keeper! (or at least chained up!) Good hub... I hope your ducks float!!
Hey Pearlie Boy, big game this weekend! Might have to swim over to Bumbletown and chain you to my lawnmower, so you can do the lawns while chained up!
Great advice. By fluke, I got introduced to a keeper and its been a month and counting. They are out there ladies.
Fran, you need to take your friend who introduced you out for a meal to thank them! I hope he remains a keeper!
A scream! And good advice. Where'd you get the picture at the top? I assume he's not your beau!
Ralph, definitely not my beau lol!
I think these are all great telltale signs of a keeper. Still, I can't help but notice all of the not so subtle comparisons between men and dogs...
Lol J.Kumm, maybe it might just be cheaper to get a dog. But then, what about the sex aspect?
Employment and honesty are two good places to start.
Thanks for stopping by Mary! I totally agree, but if someone gets laid off because their company has gone bang, you can't hold that against them.
WEll done Cindy. You should post more relationship hubs.
I find them very helpful. Thanks to you, i can keep my boyfriend.:)
@_@ Nightlymistress
Thanks Nghtlymistress, I'm so pleased that you are inding my relationships hubs helpful!
i think that all man compare different woman even if he don't tell he
great hub.
Well Takeyou, all we can hope for is that some man is so smitten with us, he forgets about all the others!
"If he's respectful, well-mannered, polite and opens your door for you and stands aside to let you through first, he's got class and comes from a good family."
Sorry but you're wrong. He's looking at your ass. And why not?
Thamis, lol you could be right, but so what, makes us feel good and appreciated anyway, and that's all that matters!
ALARM BELL - No 9: Gets on with your friends. Guys who get on with your best friends are probably thinking they are in with a chance of a three, four or fiveway with your sorority sisters. Fact. It's how guys' minds work. But if he hates your friends, a keeper ;-)
lol@Francine
Strange, I score a 10 out of 10, and still I was not good enough for my wife. I guess there are some items missing on the list :-)
Up and Onward, this is the strange thing about women, a man who scores 10 out of 10 is so perfect they are deemed to be boring. We like a little bit of the bastard, I guess.
Great advice, my guy is a keeper, however when hes with his friends he can be an ass, and we fight alot but in the end we figure things out, as I've heard that good things come out of pain and hard work, the pain from the fights the had work from understanding why we're fighting, normally its a stupid reason, like I cant really talk to him in person, so he takes it as, Im pissed off and taking it out on him.
hahahah! love it!
Thanks for commenting Lili and Inlove!
Well i am lucky to have a good man then!
I'm sure he'd love the fact that he qualified.
Good job!
I love the part in the end where it says to realize that you deserve someone great and to let go of self esteem issues, thats a very common but unsean problem in a lot of relationships
LikelyToSmile, hang on to your good man then, nurture him, feed and water him...
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Jodi Hoeksel says:
4 months ago
This is a gem, Cindy! I see a niche! :)