Angry All the Time
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Do you know someone who is perpetually angry? They seem to walk around with a chip on their shoulder and fly off at the least little thing? I'm betting you do.
What if this person is someone you dearly love?
What if this person is you?
"Angry All the Time" Tim McGraw & Faith Hill
Living with Anger and Hostility
It can be extremely difficult living with an angry person. You begin to make excuses for it and even blame yourself for some things. "Oh, it's my fault, I knew he/she wasn't in a good mood, I shouldn't have asked them that question or made that noise". You begin tip-toeing through life hoping you won't upset them. You caution others around you that it's not a good time right now.
How long can a person live like that? Evidently, some are able to do it their entire lives. I have to ask myself what kind of life is that? What are the short and long term effects of living in a hostile environment?
Why do we tolerate behavior(s) in our own home that we would never tolerate in a workplace or school? Why do we settle and make excuses? What can we do about it? What if the angry person refuses to acknowledge they need help? What if you don't yet realize you need help?
Answers
I'd love to tell you I have the answers on how to deal with anger. I do understand the frustration. I do understand not knowing who to turn to when you need help.
Unfortunately, I probably have more questions than I do answers. I don't have a grasp of all of the mental illnesses that can cause someone to be frustrated and angry. But, I do realize that when anger is causing damage to a relationship or a person's health, it's time to reach out for help. Help is out there. You don't have to suffer it alone.
If you're reading this you obviously have access to the computer. Click on the links below. There is a ton of information there. Do Google searches for "handling anger". There will be something that will help you.
If you haven't already, you could join HubPages and write about your anger or what's it like to deal with an angry person. You can do it totally anonymously. It's a great outlet.
Violence is not acceptable. If you or someone you know has been a victim of domestic violence you must seek help immediately. Don't wait, things rarely, if ever, get better without intervention.
- Living With an Angry Spouse Booklet
- Anger Management Problem Symptoms
There are a few ways to determine if you are suffering from anger management problems. - Anger Management Help Center
The Anger Management Help Center is a free not-for-profit site to help people with a common problem shared by most people; managing anger and frustration in all aspects of life. - AngerHelp.com
Anger Management Programs - Court Ordered, Employee Program, Couple Program, Individual Program - MentalHelp.net
A great source of information on mental help issues like anger management. - Who To Call When You Don't Know Who To Call
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Comments
Thanks Pachuca....I just regret I don't have all the answers. I can only hope that some of the resources will help someone or at least make them realize they are not alone in the situation and that it's not normal to have to live that way. There are people out there that can help.
Good hub!! I lived walking on these eggshells for YEARS..I truly believed it was all my fault, their anger over whatever, was all my fault. It's hard to reach people in this situation if they don't want to hear it, but at least you spoke up!! Grrr those darned disrepectful parkers.. I'm so angry for you!!!
yes there are people out there who can help. I did a consultant job before researching and providing a database on all the resources within the state that focused on Domestic Violence aid resource centers....in California alone there are over 175 places one can seek help.
Candie....I think that's a big part of the problem with dealing with angry people. People tend to blame themselves and rationalize it. Anger is someone's way of handling some frustration they feel (real or imagined). It's very real to them and they don't know how to handle it so they lash out.
(Candie's referring to another hub I published tonight about people parking in my yard and blocking my driveway...called "Parking Etiquette".)
Wow...that's really good to know Pachuca! I think sometimes, if they would just call someone they trust and let THAT person do some of the research or make some calls because sometimes you can be quite emotional trying to do it yourself. I know sometimes people are too embarassed to speak up, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. We all know someone like this.
I'm supporting you and advertising for you!! Can I park in your driveway?
Anytime you want, Candie! Just leave me room to get out and I won't have to beat your headlights out with my bat. LOL
I've never lived with someone who was angry all the time, but I have come across such people and it saddens me that they can't find something to be happy about...life is full of such endless possibilities, isn't it?
I do agree, Feline. I'm not a doctor, but I'm guessing they must surely have some type of depression that just keeps them from thinking about things that way. It hurts me to see it too. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Suffering is so unneccesary.
Wow. What a good hub. (shhh, my wife is angry all the time. don't tell her I was here. well not all the time..... really it was just the one time. 3:am, it was dark. I had left the toilet seat up. I heard a large splash before all the hollering started. woke the neighbors cat up on that one)
LOL.....that's cute, Paper Moon! A splash in the middle of the night is never nice.
nice hub! I like it ;)
KCC, I can really relate. I have two daughters, one is perpetually angry and the other is just the opposite. Unfortunately, I have a lot of guilt about the angry one. Guess I feel that somehow it's my fault. Intellectually, I know it probably isn't and, even if it is, I should forgive myself at some point. I'm working on this, but it's not easy.
Thanks Gin, glad you enjoyed it.
Alekhouse, your daughter's anger is not your fault, no matter what. She is free to choose how to be. She chooses to be angry, although she may feel she has no choice. She has things she needs to work through. EFT is a great way to work through that (for her or you). I have a video on my "De-Cluttering" hub about it.
There is a lot of anger and frustration in the world these days. It can be hard to cope with.
I agree Ethel. We just have find outlets for it and make every attempt to diffuse situations and try to relax.
I crack jokes, tell the person it's all good, and that they're not going to get anywhere with me if they're angry. Even some of my customers and patrons.. "Hey, you can talk to the boss..that would be me, and he says politely...GTFO!"
Lxxy: That is an excellent way to diffuse the situation! Thanks for adding that comment and thanks for stopping by!
Thanks KCC for sharing this Hub. Very Interesting. There are some very good resources in your hub.
Thanks Lucey! Hopefully, they will help someone who needs some advice.
My motto is "Make Love not War"
Does it always work, RBlue?
My Dad was the perfect example of constant anger and I learned the "its-all-my-fault" behavior at an early age. It set me up to think it was all I deserved, and thought all men acted like that. I then went thru a couple pretty mentally/emtionally abusive realtionships, before ending up with my husband. He has helped me so much. I really dont have answers, but I know what it is like to live with an angry nasty person!!!I do know that you dont have to just quietly accept the abuse. You are allowed to stand up for yourself and tell the person,"this isn't my fault. I dont deserve to be treated like this."
Dennise, there are so many people like you that grew up in that environment and accepted that they were at fault. I'm glad you realized that you didn't deserve that and you have someone now that can help you sort through that. Good for you! Thanks for stopping by!
There are so many individuals out in the world who are the nicest souls. They are so pleasant to every one but when they come home it is something else. All that anger they have been supressing thumbles out both on spouses and children. What does one do about that . If you tell some pne about ot they would say you are lying. Nice hub man
Thanks Juliet. I know it must be tough for those with a spouse like that. I'm going to assume for a moment that it's you we're talking about. If not, apply to your friend or whoever.
I think in cases like that the one feeling like the anger is out of control needs to elicit the help of a semi-neutral third party...someone who knows you both who can try to sit and work through some of what's bothering that person that they feel they have to bottle it and then lash at their family. They need alternate ways of dealing with their angry. Maybe they could stop off at the gym on the way home and hit a punching bag for 20 minutes, or swim or do something physical. Just my thoughts.
It is really difficult to be angry all the time.Anger can be managed by thinking positively.Our positive thoughts can control our angry mood.
I agree with you Glory...thanks for stopping by. "Angry" isn't our natural state and it is difficult to stay that way, but there are people who work hard at it. Thanks for the link to your hub!
Pachuca213 says:
6 months ago
Good Hub....now whether or not we all have had Abusive experiences I am sure all of us know someone who is always in a bad mood and we find ourselves feeling like we are walking on eggshells....This is a great hub and I am sure most of us can relate!