Are you in favor of sex before marriage?
80Sex before marriage yes or no
Premarital sex or sex before marriage
Interestingly, before writing out this hub today, I have done a lot of research and had conversation with a lot of my married and bachelor friends on "sex before marriage". Those friends of mine are both boys and girls between ages 18 to 30.
I asked each one of them one single question "Are you in favor of sex before marriage or pre-marital sex? The views they had given to me on this are really amazing. Every friend of mine has got a different view. Do you want to know what are their views?
You said Yes............isn't it? I think you are very tempted to read out all the views, which my friends have given on this really controversial topic.
So here are their views:
Jeetu, a 29-year-old government employee said if a guy who had sex before marriage, then he should not expect the girl he wants to marry should be a virgin. If he is a virgin, then it is okay for him to expect the girl to be a virgin too. I also have a funny theory about this whole concept. I think men made up this idea due to insecurity. For a man, if the girl has never been with another man, she will think he is the best when it comes to sex since she has never experienced sex with any other man before.
Nitin, a 25-year-old professional jeweler said, I think that there are still many men who do not have sex before marriage. It is just that the media presents things in such a manner that we start assuming that every boy and girl out there is having sex before marriage. It is totally a wrong perception, rather it is dangerous to one because then there are many boys who just want to have this experience in order to be among those who consider it a norm these days.
Manisha, a 24-year-old graphic designer and animator gave her viewpoint that I think it is not just to blame only men for it. If men do have a relation before marriage, it has to be with a woman who herself is not married (unless otherwise), so I feel it should be thought over from both sides and if at all it should be blamed, then both should be blamed for it. The only way to stop such a thing is to take a conscious decision for yourself whether what you are doing is right or wrong. Otherwise, that day will be not far when no man will trust a woman and no woman will trust a man to whom they are getting married have been married to. Marriage will lose its significance.
Shabd, a 30-year-old Hindi teacher said sex as per scientific terms is for reproduction, a step forward to evolution. No matter you are married or single. The only condition should be that you must have something to pass on to the next generation. Second and most important point is that sex should not be for enjoyment only, any sort of creativity without love is meaningless and useless. I personally feel that it is better to have sex with a committed partner whom you love so that creativity (reproduction) will be the result of love and not lust. For that matter according to me, sex after marriage is best.
Supriya, a 26-year-old housewife said, premarital sex is highly condemnable and unethical act. We are not permitted to do that according to our teachings. We are supposed to have sex with only one person in our lifetime and that too after the marriage. Any such act before the marriage is illegal and invites the wrath of the God, the almighty.
Pooja, a 21-year-old college girl said that pre-marital sex is necessary and essential before marriage because you can feel the actual moments and explore the new dimensions of your life which is very essential just like daily life needs, so I think it is important to have such experience before marriage with the partner you choose. It is totally personal and depends entirely on your wishes.
Gautam, a 20-year-old student said, "if I go into a grocery store and want to choose a good apple, I can pick it up and I can look at it. I would be pretty upset if the person in front of me started taking bites out of apples and putting them back in order to see if they taste good. Having sex before marriage is taking a bite out of the apple before committing to it (buying it). Often it means leaving it for the next person. When I have sex with someone before marriage, it is quite likely I am having sex with someone else's future wife.
Vishwas, a 29-year-old garment manufacturer, said "sex is meant for pleasure... if both of them are enjoying it, then there is no harm in doing it, but I personally feel physically involving with someone will lead to more strong emotional involvement with your partner. If you really love him/her, it will increase your commitment and loyalty towards him/her, but if you are doing it for screwing purpose only, then both know what they are doing and let them decide.
Sameer, a 26-year-old physical therapist said that according to me, sexual intercourse before marriage is vital. I have not been engaged in premarital sex and I have suffered the consequences of that. Actually, my partner and I both did not know "how to do sex" on the first night of our wedding and it took around 7 days before our first successful shot. Some people might feel it is funny but I am seriously telling you it is not a joke, rather it is too discouraging and irritating. So according to me, you must know how to perform sex on your partner on the first night so that the pleasures of your first night and your honeymoon are not destroyed.
Megha, a 23-year-old phlebotomist, said that I can tell you from my experience that sex before marriage will ultimately damage your sexual relationship with the one you do eventually marry. It is much wiser to wait and experience that person and have that person experience you for the first time without expectation of things that were before.
Lets answer this poll and find out how many people say yes and how many say no
Are you in favor of sex before marriage?
See results without votingIs sex essential before marriage? Lets find it out in this video
Rishi, a 25-year-old medical rep, said that see it is not altogether "important" but here is a thing to be considered that after marriage while having sex with your spouse you might (most probably you will) actually compare your previous sex experiences with your current ones (with your spouse) so it might happen that the level of satisfaction might differ and in case you were more satisfied previously than here a problem arises, since you are not getting fully sexually satisfied with your spouse and then it rings a knell for your married life...
Shrijeet said well good sex is a nice thing for the body! The way of having, when, where, and how totally depends on individual interests! What is right for one maybe wrong for others, so there is no need to discuss on this issue. It is up to you and only you can find out whether you are sexually active, at your own risk. If this is your way, then it is right for you and proceed.
Amit Bajaj said there is nothing wrong in pre-marital sex. Even the couples dont marry each other after having sex and their spouses get to know about their sexual lives before marriage, so what is wrong in it? Nowadays more than 60% guys or girls are indulged in pre-marital sex. It is an open secret now.
So these were some of the views and comments on this topic from my friends.
Now, you might be wondering that why I am just sharing these views with you and why I am not disclosing my own view. No problem. I will tell you what I think about sex before marriage.
First of all, I will tell you something about myself. I am a 28-year-old professional in transcription services, working in the same field for the last 8 years. My take on sex before marriage is that I think that a person should engage in sex before marriage with a different partner if the person has got that courage to disclose this to his/her partner after marriage. What I mean to say is that you should not feel ashamed after engaging in premarital sex. You must know that you and your married life will not be spoiled if your married partner will get to know about you that you had been involved with some other person in the past. If you have those guts and think that it is reasonable, then go ahead and enjoy sex before marriage and if not, just sit back and forget about it.
I would like to say at last that I have published these views after taking permission from my friends and all the views including my views are just views, not a recommendation.
So please do whatever you want to do, as it is your personal life and you are a better decision-maker.
Why you should not have sex before marriage?
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Why You Should Not have Sex Before Marriage: The Christian perspective
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Is There Anything Wrong with Sex Before Marriage?
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Find out more answers to your questions on sex before marriage
- http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060814222158AAQ0Etb
- Even Grandma had premarital sex, survey finds - Sexual health
- Premarital Sex Is Nearly Universal Among Americans, And Has Been For Decades
The Guttmacher Institute is a nonprofit organization focused on sexual and reproductive health research, policy analysis and public education. - Premarital Sex the Norm in America
Almost all Americans have sex before marrying, according to a new study that shows premarital sex is the norm in the U.S. and has been for the past 50 years. - Most Americans have had premarital sex, study finds - USATODAY.com
Almost all Americans have premarital sex, says a report published Tuesday that analyzes federal data over time and suggests programs focusing on sexual abstinence until marriage may be unrealistic. - http://www.in-my-opinion.org/in-my-opinion-5388.html&sid=3c11ea90bf0f0c6700ddadff3413154a
- http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2236263.cms
- Pre-marital Sex
- Premarital Sex
Premarital Sex - Is it morally right or wrong? How do I know for sure? What should I take into consideration when making this decision? - Q & A: Is premarital sex wrong? Should we live boring lives? Discussion on premarital sex and ab
We like to determine what is right and wrong, according to what we want. That's human nature. If we want to have sex with someone...
Have u been involved with anyone else before marrying me. It is not a joke. It is serious honey
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Premarital Sex Practices, H. L. Swanson
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PREMARITAL SEX IN A CHANGING SOCIETY Robert Bell 1966
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1969 June Vargas Print. Nothing wrong w/ premarital sex
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Are you in favor of sex before marriage? in the News
- Women Learn to Mask Loss of VirginityInstitute for War and Peace Reporting2 days ago
Cheap artificial hymen resolves social stigma in society that frowns on premarital sex. Ever since she lost her virginity to a classmate from college, 27-year-old Roula has been anxious about her family finding out. Her worries grew when she got engaged to another man two years ago.
- Family filmgoerCape Cod Times2 days ago
Family-oriented reviews of films now in Cape Cod theaters.
- Our advice? See Ivey as Landers.Gay City News2 days ago
Ann Landers, who died in 2002, wasn’t the first newspaper columnist to give advice in print—but her open-minded views on everything from women’s rights to lighter topics like the proper way to hang toilet paper made her the most groundbreaking.
- More teens having one-night standsMalaysian Mirror7 days ago
KUCHING: Materialism is one of the main reasons why more Malaysian students are indulging in one-night stands (ONS). Suhakam vice-chairman Dr Chiam Heng Keng said up to 30% of students in ONS are involved in sexual activities including date rape. Research studies have shown that premarital sex among adolescence mostly took place in urban schools and in rural schools to a lesser extent, she said ...
- Ohio Catholic clergy meet to bolster marriageNational Catholic Reporter3 days ago
Nearly 700 Ohio Catholic priests and bishops are gathering in Columbus Nov. 5-6 in an unprecedented attempt to bolster marriage, which they see as an imperiled institution.
- Mainers head to polls to decide same-sex marriage, tax changesBangor Daily News6 days ago
AUGUSTA, Maine -- Maine voters will head to the polls today in an off-year election with no major political offices on the ballot but plenty of hot-button issues to help draw people into the voting booth.
- BYU - Team NotesUSA Today5 days ago
Assuming BYU can win four of their final five games, including a bowl, the Cougars will chalk up a fourth consecutive 10-win season. But for some fans in Provo, that isn't enough.
- Care Net services questionedThe Keystone4 days ago
This week, from Oct. 25-Oct. 31, is the Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance’s (FMLA) week of action to find different crisis pregnancy centers that do not offer three options—abortion, adoption, or keeping the child—when considering an unplanned pregnancy.
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Comments
I just cannot stop myself from appreciating this article as thoroughly researched and imbibed with useful contents. A must read for every1 who r stuck between yes or no.
Thanks Winnie and Subhas for the appreciation. I think it would help people understand this topic in a better way......
Interesting article. Personally my view is we should have sex before marriage with our partner to be. After all, what a problem you would be faced with if you left it until after you were married, and then found out you were completely sexually incompatible, e.g. he or she liked sex in a way that you found abhorrent, or one of the couple had some weird and kinky needs in the bedroom such as liking being whipped. Once you are married it is basically too late, so better to find out first I reckon. :)
Thanks for the comment mistyhorizon. I agree with you it has happened with a lot of my friends.
It's a matter of individual wish, but in India we have to live for the society.
Interesting hub!
Anyone answering no to the question has to accept the consequence that someone who never marries, but would like to, is forced into lifelong celibacy. Not very sensible.
Paraglider- Those who answer NO may have their own reasons hence it totally depends on each persons background, beliefs and values. Whether they get married or not that is totally another issue. Hence on such issues there is nothing like sensible or insensible.
Everyone is entitled to answer no for themselves but not for anyone else. I should have made that clearer. It's perfectly fine to choose celibacy for oneself, but only for oneself.
Just before, or long before?
yes i agree sex is essential before marriage
Ideally sex should be more than a purely physical act, but rather an expression of love for another person not undertaken casually or lightly but with a full understanding of the potential unfavorable consequences of indiscriminate casual sex--unwanted pregnancy, STDs,, emotional hurt to one or both parties--as well as the potential favorable ones--strengthening the relationship, phyisical and emotional pleasure, etc. Moreover, it should be undertaken willingly by both parties who are mature adults, not forced on one party by the other. Most people agree that increasing teen sex is not a desirable trend because of the many problems associated with it.
In the United States couples are waiting to marry until their late 20s and 30s before marrying which makes it unlikely that they will wait until marriage for sex. It's becoming more and more common for couples to live together for a period before marrying instead of marrying at 18 as was common in previous generations. This may result in better, more stable marriages.
BTW, thanks for the funny video!
Another thought--I answered the survey "It depends," consistent with St. Thomas Aquinas's maxim:
Seldom affirm.
Never deny.
ALWAYS DISTINGUISH.
This maxim can be applied to the issue at hand by answering the following kinds of questions;
1. How old are both partners?
2. Are both partners informed of the potential consequences of sex?
3. Are both partners willing to have sex or is one partner forcing the issue by making the continuation of the relationship contingent on having sex?
4. Are both partners willing to accept pregnancy as a possible consequence or are they practicing birth control.
5. Is sex contemplated in the context of a monogamous, loving relationship between the partners in contrast to "hooking" up after an evening of excessive drinking?
And so forth, which is why I was not able to come to an either/or answer to the question posed by the Hub.
Ralph- Thanks for the nice perspective and detailed analysis.
Paraglider- The various reasons may also include not just oneself.
I don't know if my views sound "stupid" but here they are:
Just like marriage which is a strong bond of trust between a wife and a husband hence extramarital isn't appropriate.
Premarital is strong bond of trust between parents and their child.
And also according to my hindu background and beliefs here is some more information:
1) First of all when the bride's father does Kanyadan to the groom (there is an implicit understanding that the bride hasn't had any physical association with any man including the to be husband before marriage).
2) The Second custom is where the guy also pretends to go to Kasi yatra(for practising austerities) and the mama (from girls side elder) stops the groom and tells him to give up your brahmacharyam(celibacy till that time of marriage) and we will give you a girl.
I know it's an ideal situation but those are my views. I agree in today's day and age where everyone wants to appear to be one with the times and getting married late it's difficult to adhere to certain customs.
Try before you buy is a good principle to live with.....jimmy
countrywomen - when all concerned belong to a particular tradition, and all accept the mores of that tradition, there's no problem. However, such societies are probably becoming less common.
Paraglider- I was just stating my personal background and thinking. Btw all my cousins(girls) including some of whom, who have got married have subscribed to similar beliefs. I don't know of a statitistical survey to prove or disprove whether it's common or uncommon now. I am not advocating it for others but just stating my position.
Oho.......great. I was away on vacation for two days and what I have seen a lot of comments and my hub has just become an online discussion forum. That is really inspirational for me that I have written something which is useful for the society and the internet community. By the way, thanks countrywomen, jimmythejock, Ralph Deeds, Sohail, quicksand, paraglider, and dingdong for visiting my hub..
Soni - you think it's over? You'll get a million more visits this year ... you mark my words! :)
Ah, but countrywomen - if your sisters all look like you, they would know that plenty marriage offers would certainly come along :)
Thanks quicksand for the appreciation.
I don think..... but well depends how ur partner do wish
Thank you for your advise, but as to me it depend on every body on how to live his or her live. From my own perspective looking it is not advisable to practise sex before marriage, i had seen many case where partner who had limitless affection [sex] later disappoint one another just because of a little missunderstanding, my view is that if they had not sex each other,thise little missunderstanding can not cause disappointment to them because they will still be prescious to one another. Even God said in his word that bed should undefile.
I am definately in favor of sex before marriage. It does depend on the people though and I would consider waiting in the right situation. But in most situations you want to test drive a car before buying it, just be extra careful.
Thanks Joula , Abdulganiyu, and GoodRead for your helpful inputs.
Paraglider- Thanks for the compliments. FYI, Yes they did get good offers...hehe.
GoodRead- There is a lot of difference between humans and cars. Please don't compare apples to oranges.
Yes Countrywomen you are right, there is a whole lot of difference between humans and cars and apples and oranges and human is not made to test drive before buying, as it is a living being.
Sex before marriage, hmmmm, I agree with it, as I have already done it. It is really enjoyable but depends on individual differences.
Thanks Rajat for visiting my hub. Yes sex before marriage depends entirely on an individual's own wishes. Thanks for the comment.
gr8 informative hub mate....keep it up...!!! i will go for it....completely in for sex before marriage....
Thanks Naresh for reading this hub. So your take is yes for sex before marriage. Can you tell me what are the factors that have led you to consider premarital sex.
In favor - I think you need it in order to last like those cute old couples the females in our lives putter over. I mean how can you really know someone and be passionately in love with them if you have never been passionate? and if you haven't been passionate, are you really in love? I don't think the sex is everything but I do agree that you are truly giving that the closest part of "you" that cannot be shared, defined or expressed any other way. If are not satisfied in that state...you will never be satisfied with that person.
Thanks livelovecoffee for expressing your unique view about sex before marriage.
Well I don't know but what happens after people get married ???????
Nice article and the responses from your friends were great.
Thanks.
yes i agree
Thanks MAD philips and xxx girl for the comments.
I am glad to see so many comments on this topic. Soni, you write gr8.
Thank you once again Pankaj for taking some time reading out this hub.
Sex before marriage is a global controversial issue among the young and singles.
This is one great challenge that is consistently and rapidly destroying the moral domain of most singles. Its impact is much felt among the teens.
I am an assistant coordinator of a Youth Organization and we engage in a workshop every second Sunday of each month on any issue affecting singles.
I must confess that the question that recalls often is that of sex before marriage.
We see young men and women cohabiting before they exchange their marital vows. They want to know if they are sexually compatible and that is the foundation of their marriage. Most girls insist that the man must have them to ascertain his sexual power and expertise before exchanging marital vows.
Young people spend more time in petting, kissing, fondling of bodies, which usually get them into trouble than in any viable activity. These acts are normal and accepted by the society but the effects are rejected.
I have seen girls give birth to children especially in the developing countries who they abandoned in the gutter, street corners, motherless babies homes, and granny or aborted, and many of them thrown out of schools. This is a daily occurrence in my locality in the part of the world I live.
The most painful part of it is that these children are left on their own and no wonder they turn to be street urchins and gangsters engaging in all sorts of crime -robbery, prostitution, theft, rape, as to survive. No parental care and instruction. They attach little or no importance to human existence. Many become street hawkers. It is disheartening.
I know a guy who contacted gonorrhea when he was 20 years old but was poorly treated. The sickness resurfaced 20 years after in which the entire body fluid was corrupted. He died in the process.
Another young man entered a lady once and came out with STD. Unfortunately that was his first time on sex.
Most young men have used it to trap some girls on the pretense of marriage which is an issue in the developing world of Africa because it is believed that a lady is not fulfilled until she gets married to man no matter her wealth and educational background.
Engaging in Pre-marital sex is like sitting on a keg of gun powder. It is a loaded gun waiting to explode.
I don't encourage it among the singles.
Thanks babarushe for your useful comment. So we are getting so many great people from different streams of life over here. Mr. Babar is an assistant coordinator of a youth organization and his viewpoint is really concerning about the sensitivity of this matter.
So friends up until now around 149 people have voted on my poll and here are the results.
Are you in favor of sex before marriage?47% Yes 32% No 15% Depends 3% I am neutral 3% Do not know much about sex149 people have voted in this poll.
Right now also, the majority of people have voted on "Yes" so what you guys and gals say about it. Do you agree now that sex before marriage/premarital sex is okay?
Amazing hub page good work!
Thanks wedding reception centerpieces (very long username) for visiting and appreciating this hub attempt.
Yes i agree that the sex before marriage is a inportant part as it is neccessary . It let us know that how capable we r to satisfy our partner on bed.
Thanks Mahesh for adding your opinion to this hub.
I do not favor sex before marriage. I am also not in favour of extra martial affairs. Well... then that's me.
That's really good on your part Anamika, even I am against premarital sex or extramarital affairs but there are many people in this world and everyone has a different view looking towards life and how they carry their relationship depends on a personal point.
Really nice hub page and question. My answer is that I'm in favour of sex before marriage.
Funny article
So wedding reception centerpieces is also in favor of premarital sex. Why not you vote in the poll above regarding the same.
Thanks linjingjing for your comment. Yes sex is funny but also serious at the same time because one false step can lead to crisis.
Are you in favor of sex before marriage
I like your hub. I think it very good.
Thank you Paul. So are you in favor of sex before marriage or not?
I am not agree with that , it varies from person to person but in Indian culture, we have to live with scocieties rules.
Now these things are changing in Metro cities with living relationships.
But then marriages will come to an end...
So I dont think that dont sleep with anybody before marriage.
Thanks soni for writting on this subject..
Thank you very much apeksha for expressing your lovely view on sex before mariage.
Every man should get as much sex as he can before marriage. Because he sure as heck won't get any after!!
Thanks for expressing your take on sex before marriage, dead married man.
Sex can bring emotions flooding in that we didn't expect, in which case I don't think it's right to have sex with somebody you don't love, but this is one of many morals that is fading in today's changing societies
A very nice comment which4u. I agree with you.
I have done that and suffered the consequences. Don't do that. That is my recommendation.
very good subject,i will tell you later
Okay chiks
Before Marriage.... It's Ok Yar
kyaaa likha hai sir g..... waah waah.....
good work.....
Thanks Shah Jahan and infocity for your comment and remarks....
well i depends upon situation...........
I m nutral..
Thanks Jimmy for your response.
Hi can you please help me find a virgin man for me cause I don't want a very much used knife already hehe. I enjoy reading your hubs. The way I look at the answers of your respondents is that many dislike having sex premarital sex.
Though I am not a virgin but my knife is in good shape and is sharp. You can try that. jokes apart. Thanks for your comment beautyrose.
hay beautyrose!
i am virgin, i dont have any experience about sex!!!!!!!! i thin ur search has been completed.
Very nice Sufyan.
No i am not in favor of sex before marriage
Thanks for adding your view friend.
pretty interesting differing view points
Yes they are. That's the unique thing about this hub.
Due to my religious teachings and restriction; em not in favor of sex with any male or female but only with my life partner
Thanks for adding your view point on premarital sex.
I m not in favour of premarital sex or any extra marital relations. in such cases u r cheating ur partner. the partner, who always have faith on other. so friends always say no to premarital sex or any extra marital relations. thanks.
Thanks a lot doctor for your thoughtful comment. Premarital relationships and extramarital affairs are gaining heights nowadays and need to be monitored and controlled closely.
they try before you buy :) x
but however i could never sleep with somebody i have no feelings for, and i wouldnt sleep with someone for the one off. i love my partner and we are not married (not yet but soon) i plan on spending the rest of my life with her. i have and will only sleep with her. x
Hi kaceybabe, you have shared nice views over here. Not many people have the power to say these things. I respect your views. Best of luck for your relationship which is full of honesty.
Before Marriage.... It's Ok Yar
Thanks for your comment Jacky. Nice view about sex before marriage.
I really liked this analogy "Gautam, a 20-year-old student said, "if I go into a grocery store and want to choose a good apple, I can pick it up and I can look at it. I would be pretty upset if the person in front of me started taking bites out of apples and putting them back in order to see if they taste good. Having sex before marriage is taking a bite out of the apple before committing to it (buying it). Often it means leaving it for the next person. When I have sex with someone before marriage, it is quite likely I am having sex with someone else's future wife." I agree
"When I have sex with someone before marriage, it is quite likely I am having sex with someone else's future wife." That's the main point of view. Thanks for the very good read and comment.
FAVOUR NOT
Thanks for the comment Destiny.
MARRIAGE IS FUNCTION PERFORMED WITH THE INTETION TO UNITE TWO SOULS WITH PUR MINDE SETUP AND HAVING INTENTION LIVE BOTH WITHOUT ANY HURDLES IN LIFE, THE ANXIETY WILL BE LOST IF GO TO DO SOME THING BEFORE MARRIAGE , I KNOW THE YOUNGER GENERATION ARE EGER TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ? THIS QUESTION WILL BE AROUSED IF CONFIDENCE IS THERE SO I DO NOT AGREE WITH THE VIEWS EXPRESSED TO HAVE A PRIMARITAL SEX.
Thanks for such a useful comment from an experienced elder person on sex before marriage, yes or no.
Winnie says:
12 months ago
Must appreciate the thoughtfulness of the writer on this so-called forbidden subject. Hope this is educative enough for many..