Becoming Sacred Is A Horrid Experience!

In life, we simply move one pile of dirt from this place to that. We tear down in order to create. It's all a matter of shuffling things around.

The sacred earth does not belong to any of us. Yet, she is gracious enough to let us push,prod,pull, dig, plummet, explode, and distort as we, humans, see fit. Road Scrapers, Bull Dozers, Cranes, Dump Trucks, and the like have a unique affinity with the land they shift around; they honor/respect the power and sovereignty it contains.

Does the prospect of embracing your days as an "ordinary human being" seem unappealing to you? Why? Being "ordinary" is the single most "extraordinary" act one can indulge in. It's easy to be 'special'. No talent required, {just follow the crowd; learn how to imitate and be phony} It's really quite simple to engage your effort in trying to be 'wonderful'.

But, once you realize and exercise your 'natural and convenient' manner with no excuses or aplologies, life becomes magical.{IT already was but you were too busy trying to be accepted and acknowledged to see it.}

Mistakes happen all the time: or so it seems. You miss an appointment. You forget to call someone back. You overlook someone’s birthday. You spill your guts at an inappropriate time. You interpret another’s words as insults.

You expect a response for your kindness. You get passed over for a hard earned promotion. You trust someone who you find out later is a person who is not especially trustworthy. You discover inadvertently you’ve been a part of a conspiracy to get someone fired. You lash out in anger at another when the person is not deserving of your wrath.

You blatantly refuse an opportunity that later appears to have been rewarding and monetarily worthwhile. You suspect someone for an injustice who was in no way involved. You doubt your own convictions. You repeat yourself. You cheat whenever opportunity presents itself IF you think you won’t get caught. You act in haste.

You jump to conclusions. You lead a double life; showing a face of purity while harboring and acting upon immoral/illicit sexual fantasies. You comment on a matter that does not concern you. You grow weary and tired of an involvement that proves to be successful IF you had only stuck it out. You never get over the heartbreak of your first love, harboring unfinished emotional business. You accuse another of stealing.

You lie to cover up an insecurity, fear or prejudice. You talk just a little too loud and too long. You physically, mentally, verbally or financially cause someone you supposedly care about harm. You envy another’s good fortune bemoaning your own. You are unfaithful. You are jealous and pretend not to care. You are deceitful but smile so no one will know. You gossip for entertainment.

You laud your convictions and beliefs on another. You manipulate someone to get what you desire then justify the means. You oversell and understate. You profess to be religious but speak ill will toward another. You’re intolerant and bigoted. You deny an action which openly implicates your lack of responsibility. You use another for your own benefit or glory.

You secretly lust after your friend’s partner. You accuse your mate for having been unfaithful. You say you’re not home when someone calls. You lie about the father of your child. You exaggerate a story to make yourself look better. You cheat on your diet.

Along with a 1000 other unfortunate incidents you don’t care to think about or would like to diminish your involvement. You tell yourself, “It isn’t/wasn’t that bad.” If by chance, you are discovered for the unpleasant act, and if it threatens your security/well-being or public/professional standing, you do a double-take reassessing your current position. You manipulate the circumstances quickly in your behalf.

You are quite successful at convincing others (and yourself) how truly sorry you are for what you did wrong. But, you know the truth. You KNOW how it makes you feel each time you remember the incident. You ‘say’ you are remorseful and truly ‘sorry’, and that you won’t ever make the same mistake again. If only you’re given another chance, you will not be so inconsiderate and careless. You will try to do so much better. Not so, my dear Amigo.

Let’s be square and get real. The truth is: You hate being ‘called out’ ‘showed up’ {placed in a subordinate position} whereby you are displayed like a guilty rabbit. You don’t like the obligation of appearing to give over your power.

You will not be beholding to anyone. [It makes you feel helpless and weak.] Even though you apologize, you don’t mean it, nor do you like doing it. In fact, you detest it. It makes you feel small and insignificant. Powerless. Unduly interrogated. When you go through all of the dramatic gestures involved in the hoop lah of the “I’m so sorry’ facade, you experience an automatic righteous indignation.

Even if you wanted to feel something clean and pure, you couldn’t and don’t. You end up feeling worse for having apologized. It’s a hard to define ill-fated sensation, like you owe the other person some sort of unstated debt. {Maybe a sense of thwarted gratitude, even for his/her having forgiven you.} Yuck!

A sensation of bribed or contrived obligation begins to silently choke you. The mental division has been planted. This nagging ambiguity sets up a ‘highly sensitive subtle revenge apparatus’ acting as a defense mechanism set to detonate at a later time. Sure, you offer reasonable acceptable excuses, explanations and rationalizations so cleverly and emotionally invented by you to make up for your so-called misaligned indiscreet actions.

Face it: unless the outcome of this shenanigan brings you more benefit in some immediate obvious way, you will no more than, force (parrot) the words, “I’m sorry” from your lying lips resenting every letter uttered.

On top of that noble charade, you are supposed to ‘act like’ you care so much more afterwards about the other person’s welfare when all the while you do not. {Unless, as I’ve already stated, the predetermined outcome is directly linked to you in some way and will cause or caused a personal loss/hardship of some kind} Then, you really put on a ‘high dollar’ Las Vega Style showcase pleading and begging remorse. Still, you are not ‘sorry’.

Why? Because you have nothing to be sorry for!

You are what you are and you feel what you feel; there's no apology for that.  Unless you honestly come to terms with who you are 'expressing' and how you genuinely feel at the time and recognize those feelings as 'mini experiences' of processing life, you will remain fixed and phony. No happiness to be had in denying feelings!

The truth of the matter is:  As long as you try to repress and mask the uncomfortable feelings, they will always flood out like torrential rain in the most unsuspecting places. Feelings will pass like urine IF you give them 'natural and convenient' access and disposal.

Sacredness embraces all, not some, of your personal feelings. To experience the full sensation of the pinpointed episode is precisely what being human is all about. It's easy to be a 'god in the making'; a master of divine essence; you inherently arrived on earth with those qualifications.  What's hard to learning to be truly human in the process.