Daily Weird #20 Santa's reindeer were eating mushrooms and flying high

Winter can be boring. It can be boring for you and me, and apparently even the animals get a little bored. What to do, what to do?

We humans have a lot of things we can do. We can play board games, we can watch TV, and we can count our fingers and toes, all things not available to the average animal.

So, what do animals do when they get bored? Apparently, they do drugs.

According to scientist, Andrew Haynes, animals often eat “magic mushrooms” to cure the winter doldrums. Reindeer, especially, hunt out these mushrooms during the winter months. It’s most likely a pre-requisite to being allowed to pull Santa’s sleigh. The reindeer who eats the most mushrooms gets to be in the lead.

Rudolph must have been a mushroom eating fool! Perhaps that’s the real reason for the glowing nose. Maybe he even washed the mushrooms down with a pint or two for good measure. Scientists are currently looking for the moonshine still. With magic mushrooming going on, they figure moonshine can’t be far behind.

There have been rumors floating around that what Santa actually had in his “bag of toys” were hallucinogens. It’s big money. Santa’s cover has been impenetrable. Hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of magic mushrooms get bootlegged by Santa every year. Again, this is only a theory, so don’t ruin it for all the kids until we have actual proof. In the meantime, you may want to make sure your children don’t lick their toys.

In a bit of a twist in the story, it seems that when herdsmen drink reindeer urine, they believe they, themselves can fly. I don’t know how the herdsmen originally discovered this particular jewel of knowledge, and I’m don’t think I want to. However, it does make me wonder what Mrs. Clause has been putting in Santa’s eggnog all these years.