5 Signs She's A Psycho
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This is more or less an early warning system for men. I’ll be fair and say that women aren’t usually born psychotic, it’s something that tends to happen as a result of dating 3 or 4 morally challenged "players". You men know who you are!
Nevertheless, loads of unmarried chicks over the age of 30 have lost it a bit, thanks to those types of relationships. Sorry, ladies, it’s true - if you think you’re an exception, just skip the rest of the article!
(Although.. the fact that you’re reading this at all indicates something or other, doesn’t it?)
She rebuffs any effort you make at chivalry.
And I do mean chivalry – not chauvinism! If you open a door for Jane and she gives you a dirty look, that’s a red flag, buddy. If Jane follows it up with a line like “I can do it myself” you’ve got an extremely insecure female on your hands, and it’s best you let her walk through that doorway alone. If you act gentlemanly in a restaurant and she gets snippy - not only is she insecure, she’s also unsophisticated. What you have here is a 24 hour temper tantrum waiting to happen. Ditch the kid and find a woman.
She throws a fit if you want to spend a night with the boys.
This may seem innocent enough in the beginning, but it’s all just a ploy to get your attention back on her – where she thinks it belongs. The longer you date, the more justified she’s going to feel about it. Marry this chick, and you’re looking at your own personal War of the Roses. This girl either got way too much, or way too little, attention from Daddy. Unless you want to play surrogate, dump her and find someone normal.
She says I love you, or I hate you, way too soon.
There are two reasons women do this – they’re either trying to manipulate your emotions, or they have no control over their own. That’s not to say the phrases themselves are malicious; obviously they mean something to most people. But if the chick you’re dating says either in the first few weeks, something is up, and it’s not her self-esteem.
She wants to do everything for you.
She wants to cook, clean and be your personal wench. That may sound great, but this chick has serious issues. Not only is she clingy, she’s dependent. In other words, she needs you to need her, or she feels useless. Yeah, another self-esteem issue. Mind you, most women enjoy doing things for their man, and some even enjoy cooking, cleaning, etc. But not like an indentured servant. If she’s holding your slippers and newspaper every time you turn around, this chick’s a nut.
She can’t leave the house unless she’s dressed to the nines.
Yes, she looks great on the outside. Inside, she’s useless. This girl looks great on your arm, but the fact is, she’s so insecure about her appearance she can’t cope with the idea of someone seeing her in sweats or without makeup. While the good-looks may suit you, it’s the bigger picture you need to be concerned with. If she’s this miserable about any aspect of herself, we’re talking damaged goods, son.
There are other ways to tell if she’s a psycho, but most psychos will present with one of these “symptoms”. Keep an eye out for the screaming mimi’s who’ll eventually google their way to this article... you’ll be able to spot them via their indignant comments.
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Comments
I understand what you're saying, but for no. 4 I pretty much mean women who are attached at the hip to the man. Women who can't be alone for more than 2 seconds. Very insecure women, in general.
It's interesting, though, that eastern women are considered to be respectful just cos they cook and clean.. they (those in CZ, SK, etc) are highly unfaithful in comparison to western women..
I guess as a man you can choose your misery! ;)
Isa,
There are no Eastern women where you live :) While Eastern, it's still Europe. Move to any of the -stans to see what I'm talking about... Oriental may be a better word...
I agree, I don't even live in Eastern Europe - I'm west of Vienna! But Westerners consider this East.. so... but yes, I still understand the mentality you are referring to, I am 1/2 middle eastern, after all. I'm just saying thats not what I meant by number 4.
I personally like to cook and clean and take care of a man - number 4 is about women who do it because they are needy, as opposed to just wanting to do it because they like doing it.
Yeah, I understand your point :) I'm just saying it can be a tricky proposition for a western man dating an eastern woman to come to a conclusion here...
True.. but most of the men reading this will be dating western femnazis. ;)
PS: I dont know if you realize it, but I did reply to your last email, I just replied from my regular address. In case you thought I'd ignored you.
With my short memory I do not think I have met that item They all appear nice on the surface, as I was never going to get that close I will give her a miss
I think this applies mainly to British women. They tend to be more "psycho".
Us, Latino girls will never understand how a woman can get upset at someone being "gentleman". By enlarge we love someone opening the door for us, offering a hand to come out of the car, sending you flowers for no reason at all ... and so on.
Also we do like to say what we feel and we are not scare to tell someone that we love them.
But then... that is us ... Latino "chicks" ;-)
Mr. Marmalade - Good idea!
Man - Thanks!
Princessa - Yes, it applies to British women, but was mainly written with American women in mind. ;)
You are right again, Isabella!!
No indignant comments from this American woman!! It is a hard line to walk between not being stereotypical yet helping others recognize red flags!! Isabella, you provide a GREAT service!! And you may live in Central Europe but can write about American issues very well!!
After reading the other comments I can see some of the confusion comes from cultural differences!! There are places outside the US where woman have many less freedoms, where catering to men is expected and accepted as the social norm!! Often the men being catered to automatically assume the woman loves this arrangement as much as he does!!??
There are more and more psycho women AND men running around that we all need to stay clear of!! I ignored the signs a couple of times and paid for it by being stalked and having my life threatened when I broke it off!! As Isabella pointed out, pay attention to the red flags and DO NOT to start a relationship while they are waving in your face!!
Blessings on all the psycho-babes and psycho-gents that they may find their way back to sanity!! Earth Angel!!
Thanks Earth Angel! :) It's not so hard to understand, though, considering Im an American female myself. ;)))
I know someone who does #1 all the time. She is suspicious of any man who opens a door for her. It's true, she's crazy.
As for #4...I like to cook. I like a clean home. But, I get super cranky if my man takes it for granted and doesn't help out. Guess that makes me more bitchy than crazy, but I'm all for equality.
My boyfriend applies to most of these! HA! He won't let me cook, but he won't clean. He gets upset if I'm not with him. And a few other things, that are similar to your numbers but a little different. IE gets upset if I don't like him running in front of me, even slightly pushing me aside to open the door.
More excellent advice, Isabella! It's a little hard for men to heed, however, as we often don't do our thinking with the head on top of our necks! Further, the last three of these red flag behaviors are MAJOR sops to our egoes:
She says "I love you" way too soon: "Dude! She is SOOO into me!" Granted, a lot of men will find early / frequent use of the "L" word rather creepy, but a woman who does that will also usually (ahem) demonstrate her affections in a most pleasant and eager manner. It's very difficult for most of us Y-chromosone types to say "no" to that. Please understand that I do not excuse men who take advantage of women; I simply note that, when she's willing, we're not too inclined to analyze her motives.
She wants to do everything for you: "Dude! She does EVERYTHING for me! I haven't had it this good since I moved out of my parents' house!" Can I see a show of hands of people who WOULDN'T like somebody to cook and clean for them? Oh, really? Would your mother agree with you about that? ;-)
She can't leave the house unless she's dressed to the nines: "Dude! She is sooo friggin' HOT!" Most men like the idea that other men are looking at their ladies and grinding their teeth with jealousy; the phrase "trophy wife" is in the lexicon for a reason. Conversely, what guy wants his woman to look like a refugee from a hippie commune all the time?
Naturally, there is balance in all things, and some of these red flag behaviors are normal between men and women in healthy relationships. They SHOULD like to tell each other "I love you", or do things for each other, or dress nicely for each other.
Timing is everything, though, and the red flags early in a relationship are something that guys should be aware of not only for themselves (can you say "Fatal Attraction"?) but also for the woman. The longer a guy keeps her around for the wrong reasons, the more she's going to become emotionally invested in what is ultimately a bad relationship, and she'll be that much more hurt when he finally tells her to get lost.
I read some advice on how to know if somebody REALLY loves you recently. Since it was very wise, it might well have been by Isabella. :-) I don't recall, unfortunately. Anyway, the author referred his (her?) readers to I Corinthians 13:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
The red flags don't appear in this, for men or for women. Good advice, I think.
EA,
Thanks.
Wonderful hub, though it would have been more useful to me many years ago. And it has sparked off interesting comments! The debate with Misha is such a delight, as ever.
I have been married for 28 year to the same guy.
So...if i am psycho then he likes it...But I was rofl!
Excellent exploration of the different angles of insecurity... and how they manifest themselves! As others have said, you provide a nice service here.
Now... for tools in recognizing the more well-disguised psychos, such as the initially-charming, but eventually spoiled-brat-princess-narcissist, or the thinly disguised rage-aholic.
Good stuff!
Stacie - I don't think you're the psycho type. ;)
Whitney - He's just madly in love with you!
Doc - Yep, pretty much what men think.. and why they are so shocked when Sally goes Pyscho. ;)
Kenny - Thank you!
Marye - Some men do! ;)
Denmark - Thank you! I might do another like it soon. ;)
VL - Thanks! No, actually.. I've seen parts but that's it. Anthony Perkins always freaked me out a bit. ;)
Yep this hub is right on. I've known a lot of women who even believe they're entitled to this kind of behavior. A night out with the guys is a good thing! And chivalry should never die (one of the reasons I adore Canadian men so much is because they still understand what the word gentleman means. Kudos to Canadian Mothers!) And as for the trophy girls. I just feel sorry for them. I mean that kind of beauty is painful and expensive. It's okay for a special saucy occasion with your man but every day! Yikes! Guess the Tomboy in me will never understand that one. As for number 4. It is nice to do things for your man but personally I like the idea of cooking a meal together and then hiring a maid to do the cleaning. But that's just me! :)
Yay, I'm not a psycho! :P Great hub.
I completely understand what you're saying in point 4. It's the need to become indispensible and then control your man that's the problem. Oriental women may have the notion of 'wifely duties' instilled in them but most of them fulfil them as a nurse performs her duties - goes with the territory. No one says you have to enjoy clearing chamber-pots! Like you, I enjoy cooking for my family and my husband but when I don't feel like it, I don't do it. But I've had to work with a lot of women who either hate it or cultivate and often aren't entirely conscious they're doing it. It's just huge lack of self-esteem that tells them 'if he doesn't need me, he'll dump me'. Seriously sad.
An insightful and accurate hub. I enjoyed it.
Ha! This is EXCELLENT, and it definitely sounds true. Nice one!
Boy you are really really good at reading people Isabella. You have demonstrated at least 5 of my Exes here but that's the thing with DATING. If you get the sense that any of these things are true, lookout.
I've dated b'ful girls who hate their bodies and normal girls who will make omelettes naked. Which do think will entice in the long run?
Your #1 is so right on too. Worth repeating..
What you have here is a 24 hour temper tantrum waiting to happen. Ditch the kid and find a woman.
I can see these same things in people but your ability to bring them to light in a 'saucy' way is a real gift. George Carlin would be proud, I think. You are a DJ too. DJ Bella! ooh. not bad! You bust out the 'same old song' (a/k/a stupid/crazy people) and you spin gold with them.
working
Misha says:
10 months ago
And I though you write only about bad boys ;) Boy, I was mistaken!
Kudos to you for helping guys to navigate those muddy waters :)
Small correction, though (did you know it was coming LOL). Your fourth item applies only to Western women. Eastern women are brought up with respect to man, and that kind of behaivior is natural and expected for her. And does not mean she has any problems...